| 50k! 50k! 50k! |
[May. 27th, 2009|04:47 pm] |
Which is more like 500k, but I needed this story out before 3mil. The next story picks up right after this one so all those questions will be answered...on monday. Come on. I almost ended this story with the first act, aren't you glad I didn't do that!
Title: The Lonely Death of John Michaels.
Author: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) bitchandjerk
Characters: Sam/Dean,John/Mary/OFC OMCs OFCs
Rating :R
Words11,000/2,710,300
Warnings: Wincest,
Summary: Sam and Dean don't get a chance to give their speeches for Coming Out Day.
Notes::AU, rest are here.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.
Feedback: Makes me hard
There were three gunshots one right after the other. They all took place after Sam had walked out on the little makeshift stage to give his speech but Dean only heard the first one. The second and third were silenced by the screams coming from every person in the audience. They were all still sort of happy and cheering after Jensen’s speech but then the first shot went off and they all became terrified and panicked. Dean had them all beat though because Sam took the second and third bullet. All three were intended for him but he was lucky, as laughable as that was.
The day had started off rather well as most days did. The kids were all very excited about watching their big deal daddies on television and Alex promised they’d take a break from school to check it out. Dean was fine with them watching a little television but he made sure that Alex only let them watch his speech and Sam’s. Jensen’s was probably okay too but Dean didn’t want the kids to listen to him talk about the riot that happened when his play ended. Had he known they were going to witness someone getting killed and Sam getting shot twice he would have gladly let Jensen tell them all about it in graphic detail instead.
The city was alive with electricity when they arrived and Dean thought it best they not wander around and do a little shopping beforehand like they intend to. It was hard enough to have Sam in the city and adding in thousands of more people just made it worse. Instead of shopping they spent some time with Amy, Auden, and Wystan who Dean thought was getting a little cuter each day. He almost four weeks old and he definitely had mommy’s appetite because he was a chunky little thing who still had more hair than Mary and eyes as icy as Auden’s.
Spending time with them had put Dean in a great mood, one that unfortunately wouldn’t last the rest of the day. Jensen’s speech started at noon with Sam’s following at 12:30. Dean was supposed to start at 1:00 but he never got a chance to give his speech and Sam didn’t get out one word of his. The speeches didn’t matter though, not when someone was dead and Sam was lying in a hospital bed with Dean by his side soaked in his blood. It was all too much to handle, but Dean had to go over every detail again for the very police officer that was speaking so calmly he wanted to fall asleep.
She was a woman which just made Dean feel safer. He didn’t know why, except that she sort of reminded him of Amy and she was the strongest and bravest woman Dean had ever met. He really wanted her there with him, and though her house was close to the hospital the chances of her getting there were slim. Dean figured she could walk but she’d probably stay behind with the baby so Auden could go and make sure everything was okay.
The cop’s name was Libby which Dean thought was a little funny. She had introduced herself as officer something or other and then told him that he could call her Libby. It was sort of how adults got down on their knees to greet children to make them more comfortable. She was trying to make Dean comfortable or at least calm him down and it was working just a little. She really wanted him to get cleaned up and leave the room so they could talk but Dean had to stay next to Sam because pretty soon he was going to wake up and he’d be too scared to do that alone.
With a heavy sigh and a shaky sip from his can of coke Dean began to tell her what happened to the best of his recollection. The stage was just something built for the speeches and sort of curtained off on three sides. Dean was waiting with Sam to the left of the stage from the audiences vantage point and they were both listening to Jensen’s speech which was pretty good. Dean remembered saying it was pretty good but he couldn’t for the life of him remember what Jensen had said. There was something about honesty and friendship, but Dean could have been putting words in his mouth and thankfully Jensen’s speech wasn’t important.
When it was over he exited to the left to join Dean so they could listen to Sam’s speech. He was the big draw and because he was speaking there were a record number of people listening. The crowd had to be two miles thick all around them and there were even big screens so people way in the back could watch. It really was set up nice and while Sam wasn’t entirely on board with the whole day he was looking forward to the speech.
A woman in pink was introducing him and as usual she listed all of his many accomplishments and contributions while Sam stood off to the side with a big smile on his face. Dean thought he looked so handsome and he made sure that Libby wrote that down in her pad because Sam wouldn’t like her thinking he was always as pale as he currently looked in the hospital bed. He was wearing a white shirt under a navy blazer with jeans, not a thin hospital gown that was probably going to give him hives.
Everything went downhill when the woman in pink was done with her introduction. She went to take her seat behind the podium but because she had been so generous in her praise Sam wanted to reward her with a kiss on the cheek. That ended up saving his life and unfortunately it ended hers. Had Sam not leaned down just an inch and if she hadn’t rose up an inch that first bullet would have hit him. Because Sam wanted to do something nice for her, the bullet entered through the side of her head behind her ear and exited through the front narrowly missing Sam. Dean didn’t see where it actually came out or entered but he could guess since Sam’s face was sprayed with blood and other matters. A portion of her skull had exploded all over him and his fresh white shirt had it’s first stain of bright red.
The crowd was in chaos after that and though everything happened in eight or ten seconds max it felt like hours. Sam was always the hero and though the woman in pink was dead as soon as the bullet entered her skull he still wouldn’t let her fall. He wasn’t going to let her just collapse onto the stage because she deserved some dignity. That little gesture saved his life for the second time because he had to side step to keep her from falling. The bullet that was meant for the center of his chest went in and out of his left shoulder in another sick red spray.
At that point he had to drop the poor woman but he did it as respectfully as he could. He also seemed to realize at that point that someone in the crowd was most definitely trying to assassinate him and unfortunately so did Dean. It all happened so fast that Dean didn’t react after that first bullet but once he saw the second he knew he had to get out there to knock Sam to the ground where he might be safer.
For one second their eyes looked together and Dean knew that if he got to him he’d be okay, but he couldn’t move. He told Libby that he was in shock or scared but Sam had his hand up and he was holding him back. Had Dean run out onto the stage he would have been just as easy a target as Sam was. Sam made him stay back and because he was so focused on keeping Dean safe he couldn’t stop the third bullet.
Dean didn’t actually see or hear it until it made contact with Sam’s chest. It went in one side then out the other close to his right shoulder and the second Dean saw the spray of blood he could move again. He went to run once more but Jensen tackled him to the ground and used every ounce of strength he had to hold Dean down. They were basically evenly matched but Jensen wasn’t a fighter and he had never held anyone down before. Dean managed to buck him off and he got up on his feet to run as fast as he could. Sam had fallen down or been knocked down by the force of the third bullet and when Dean got to him he was smiling.
Because it wasn’t important Dean didn’t share what Sam whispered to him before he lost consciousness. She didn’t ask either and if she had he probably would have said that he didn’t say a thing, he just slipped into unconsciousness and then the paramedics fought their way through the crowd. They were just miracle workers apparently and Libby completely agreed because she had spoken with them and they were just amazed since it certainly seemed a lot worse.
The truth was that it actually was as bad as it seemed, but when that first bullet went off Jeremy felt the panic and the fear. He was in the bathroom at the center at the time and before the second bullet hit Sam he was with Aaron at church. They were fast and managed to work on Sam before the paramedics even got there. Jeremy said that Sam would have been fine without their intervention but Dean knew that was a lie to make him feel better. If they were ordinary people Sam would be dead and Dean would be a widow not even a month into their marriage.
All that happened three hours ago and they were the longest and most excruciating of Dean’s life. He hated waiting and worrying and he was sick and tired of praying that Sam would wake up and just talk to him. He needed to hear his voice because Dean didn’t care about what the doctors said or what Jeremy said. He had to hear from Sam’s own mouth that he was okay and he wasn’t going anywhere. He needed to hold him and kiss him, he needed to be there for him.
“Anything else you can remember, Mr. Johnson?”
“No.” Dean whispered. “That’s it, it was fast.”
“Thank you very much for your time.”
“Yeah, no problem.”
“Listen.” Libby said as she touched Dean on his knee “How about we get you a pair of scrubs to change into? You can get out of those clothes and we’ll get you some towels.”
“Scrubs?”
“Yes.”
Dean looked down at his hands and actually laughed very quietly. Dried blood had to be the most uncomfortable thing in the world for a person to have on their skin. It was all sticky and leathery once it dried and Dean could see it cracking some around his knuckles. His hands were coated solid with it because when he got to Sam’s side he put pressure on his chest since that’s what you were supposed to do to stop the bleeding or to make it not bleed as much. It hadn’t worked either way.
“When my dad comes.”
“I’ll have them bring you in some clothes.”
“Thank you.”
“Would you like me to send someone in?”
“No.” Dean smiled. “I want to be alone. Can you tell someone to let my dad and my uncle in when they get here?”
“Of course.”
“You can tell Jensen, you know, he was up there before Sammy.”
“Yes, I talked to him. He’s not pressing charges.”
“Like I give a shit.”
When Jensen tackled Dean the only way he could get him off quickly was to elbow him in the face which he did without a problem. That wasn’t anything worth pressing charges about but when they were at the hospital there was about an hour where no one would let Dean see Sam and Jensen had the fucking audacity to apologize. Dean knew it wasn’t his fault because he hadn’t pulled the trigger but he was responsible for someone knowing Sam was going to be there. He apologized with tears in his eyes and Dean punched him as hard as he could in the middle of the waiting room. Anthony and Jared may have gotten hit as well when they tried to pull him off, but Dean wasn’t sure and he really didn’t care.
Once Libby left Dean turned all of his attention back to Sam. He looked like he was in pain but the doctors assured Dean that he wasn’t. He was totally doped up but his face was sort of scrunched up like he had just banged one of those big old toes into the counter. Dean always made it better with kisses and Sam would just laugh as loud as he could because he was so ticklish. Even the kids couldn’t fix toe boo-boos like Dean could and Sam always came to him with his nose crinkled and his brows furrowed.
Dean had been pretty strong, but when he thought about the kids while holding Sam’s hand he started to cry again. They were so excited about seeing both of them on television and Dean knew they were watching. Alex might have gotten the television off before they saw Sam get shot but he knew they had to have seen the woman go down which was worse. They’d have to see her head explode on the television and while the twins and Ollie might not know what was going on Mikey would. He’d have questions and want answers and the one Dean couldn’t answer was why anyone would want to kill his daddy. Sam was a good man, and they were few and far between. He never hurt anyone, he never would hurt anyone either, but someone hated him enough to try to assassinate him. Dean had been thinking murder at first but normal people were murdered. The woman in pink was murdered. Had Sam died he would have been assassinated.
When the door to the private room swung open Dean looked up and prayed that it was John because he needed him. Sam needed him too because if he was there he just might wake up. It wasn’t John, but Michael was good enough and maybe even better because a son was always better than a daddy, Dean knew that better than anyone else.
“Dad.”
“Michael.” Dean said as he stood up. “Come here.”
“Is he okay?”
“Yeah, yeah he’s fine.”
“It took me so long…took me three hours to get here, dad.”
“Shh, it’s okay, you’re here now.”
Michael was sobbing and shaking as Dean wrapped him up in his arms. Just having him there helped and Dean knew it would help Sam. It seemed like he kept trying to look over at Sam and just couldn’t do it so eventually Dean had to do it for him. He held his hand as tight as he could and set Michael down in the chair next to the bed. That just made him cry harder but he was close enough to see the rise and fall of Sam’s chest and that was good enough.
“I got president.” Michael whispered. “They announced it right before we turned on the television. When you came out Ryan said you was gonna be so proud of me and I said that one day I hope I can make you as proud as you make me, dad.”
“You’ve already done that.” Dean smiled. “Everyday you do that.”
“Is it true what they’re saying about the man who shot him?”
“Yeah.” Dean nodded. “It’s true.”
“I heard it on the radio when I was driving in but I didn’t believe it. I had to park pretty far away and then when I got to the hospital they wouldn’t let me in.”
“How’d you get in?”
“A man, he’s the angel I think. He told them to let me in and they did. He said he’ll stay down there for grandpa and he said Amy’s coming. She’s walking.”
“Of course she is.” Dean smiled. “He’s nice, isn’t he?”
“Oh yeah.” Michael nodded. “I expected him to be. Dad, I need you to go at least wash your hands.”
“I have to be here if he…”
“If he wakes up and sees you covered in blood he’s going to be upset.” Michael said. “Bathroom’s right there. You can be in and out in a minute. I don’t want to be selfish, but I don’t like seeing that much blood.”
“Oh, right, right, I’m sorry…”
When Dean turned to go to the small attached bathroom he heard a light knock on the door. Michael had walked right in but he had earned that right. Aaron and Jeremy probably had as well, but they still knocked and then peeked in on Sam as they handed Dean a green shirt and matching pants. They didn’t have a problem getting into the city at all and Dean had never in his life been more thankful for the demon that made them his brothers.
In the bathroom he washed off quickly after he shed his shirt and pants. Aaron had handed him a couple of soft towels as well and Dean had to wipe hard at his body to get most of the blood off. He wasn’t hurt at all but Sam’s blood had soaked through his shirt down to his skin. His shirt was ruined and unfortunately it was one of his favorites. It was an olive color maybe a little lighter green and when Sam bought it he said it was going to make his eyes pop. Dean thought that sounded like a threat and he had to throw Sam onto the bed and then kiss him until he promised to be nice.
When Dean was mostly clean he put on the scrubs and then walked back out of the bathroom. Michael got up right away to offer him the chair which wasn’t necessary but Dean appreciated the gesture and he was exhausted. He wanted Sam to wake up for just a few minutes so they could talk and then he wanted to fall back to sleep with him so they could rest together.
Dean stayed quiet with Michael for a few minutes until they heard some commotion outside. Michael looked up first and actually sort of wedged himself in front of Dean. It was absolutely a defensive stance that made Dean more proud of him than usual. He was ready to fight if he had to, but he never got the chance. The commotion was just John and James trying to make their way into the room which wasn’t easy considering how difficult it was to get into the waiting room.
“Sammy.” John said as he rushed over. “Sammy?”
“He’s okay dad.” Dean nodded. “He’s just sleeping.”
“Oh, God, Sammy.”
“What are all these things?” James asked. “What is that?”
“Those are just monitors.” Michael said. “To make sure he’s okay.”
“Does he need those? Why haven’t you let Jeremy and Aaron heal him?”
“They did some.” Dean said. “They can’t all the way because too many people saw it happen and too many doctors have seen him already. He’s just got to deal with it until we get out of here.”
“They said on the news that the guy who shot him was…”
“Yeah.”
“Oh, Jesus.” John sighed. “Sammy, it’s time to wake up. You can wake up now we’re all here. Come on. Wake up, Sammy. Wake up. Wake up!”
“Dad.”
“Why would someone do this?”
John knew exactly why someone would want Sam dead, why probably hundreds of people wanted him dead. He was a threat to the things they thought were right simply because he wanted everyone to have what they deserved. It was sickening that people would want to kill him just because they were scared and Dean couldn’t even bear the thought of a group of people sitting around and planning to kill John Michaels.
“Alex took the kids to Auden’s.” James said. “Sam will want to see them.”
“Did they see what happened?”
“Yeah.” John nodded. “Not the third bullet. Alex turned off the television before that. Ollie and the twins didn’t realize what happened but Mikey…Mikey’s…”
“What?”
“He said he doesn’t know what he’s feeling.”
“That’s such a Mikey thing to say.” Sam croaked. “I can see him saying that.”
“Sammy.” Dean whispered. “Sammy, I’m here.”
“We’ve got to stop…” Sam said before he opened his eyes. “We’ve got to stop meeting like this.”
Dean laughed and then got out of the chair to kiss Sam on his forehead and then at long last on his lips. They were dry and he was a little sweaty but Dean didn’t care at all because he finally got to hear him speak and he had as always picked the perfect thing to say. He looked so much different that he had all those years ago in a different hospital but Dean was still completely hopelessly in love with him.
“Sammy.” John said. “How do you…”
“I’d feel better if you hadn’t yelled at me.”
“I’m sorry I was just worried and…Are you okay?”
“I feel a little drunk.” Sam groaned. “And like I just got shot twice.”
“As soon as we leave here Jeremy and Aaron will fix you up.” Dean said. “Look, Michael’s here too.”
“Hey, dad.”
“Hey, Michael.” Sam smiled. “What happened with the club?”
“I got president, dad. Just freshman president but still. Ryan’s real jealous.”
“I knew you would.” Sam said. “Was anyone else hurt?”
“No, just you and the woman in pink, I can’t remember her name.”
“Carolyn. Her name was Carolyn. Did they get whoever shot at us?”
“You could say that.” Dean nodded. “We don’t need to talk about that now though. You need some more sleep I think.”
“What do you mean? What happened to him?”
“Sam, you should rest.” James said. “We’ll have time to talk later.”
“But…”
“Sammy, please.” Dean said. “You get some sleep. I’m going to go check on the kids, okay?”
“Will someone stay?”
“Dad and James. You’ll be safe with them.”
Sam tried to fight it for another few seconds but the blood loss and the pain meds won out in the end. Dean didn’t want to leave his side but someone had to explain to Mikey what had happened and what he was feeling. That was something Dean had to do because John wouldn’t know what to say and despite being an educator there were some lessons Alex wouldn’t teach. Dean was going to have to talk to all of them and then get them to the hospital to help Sam feel better.
Sam had a light quick breakfast because they wanted to get to the city and then he didn’t have lunch. The plan was to stop somewhere for lunch after they were done with the rally but that didn’t happen. When he woke up for the second time Sam was so hungry his stomach actually hurt. He really wanted a big juicy steak served rare with lots of mushrooms and butter but something told him that wasn’t on the hospital menu. Since he knew he wasn’t going to have it for dinner he kept his eyes closed for a while and imagined how good it would taste. He felt like his body was craving iron and he was hoping the hospital would at least have a hamburger or something beefy.
Sam was sure he was doing a top notch job of envisioning his steak because he could actually smell it. It didn’t really smell like the steaks he cooked but it was warm and meaty with just a little scent of cheese and something vinegary maybe ketchup. At that point Sam’s eyes shot open and he saw that he wasn’t imagining things at all. Amy had made herself nice and comfortable in the chair next to the bed and she was about to take a gigantic bite out of a dripping fast food burger.
She looked like she had just been caught stealing money out of his wallet but that didn’t stop her from biting down and then slowly chewing. Sam had just been shot twice in a failed assassination attempt and she was sitting by his side stuffing her face. The polite thing to do would have been to ask him how he was feeling, but before she did that she swallowed her mouthful of burger, had three fries, and then washed it down with a huge milkshake, strawberry by the look of it.
“How are you?”
“Is there another burger in that bag?”
“Yes!” Amy nodded. “There is. You can have it. Do you want some fries?”
“God, no.” Sam sighed. “Where’s Dean?”
“They all went to the cafeteria. He told me to stay with you and Aaron just went to the bathroom.”
“Who’s they?”
“The kids and John, Carol, um, Anthony, Bruce, Justin.”
“Can you turn on the television for me?”
“Um, no.”
“Amy, come on.”
“Dean told me not to.” Amy said. “And I think that…I obviously can’t say no to you, that’s why I have so many kids.”
“Thank you.”
Aaron came out of the bathroom when Amy was just about to turn the television on. He tried his best to get the remote away from her but her feeding had been interrupted and former baddie strength didn’t compare to that. She not only managed to keep the remote in her hand, but she shoved him out of the way while never releasing her grip on the burger.
It was from Wendy’s which Sam hadn’t had in a really long time. He didn’t know who was in charge of getting food but he assumed it was Amy since it was a triple decker and practically hemorrhaging cheese. Normally Sam would have never eaten that but he was just too hungry and he tore into it as soon as he had the wrapper undone. His arms both felt really stiff and moving was sort of awkward but it wasn’t bad at all, not nearly as bad as he would have expected if he had thought he was going to still be alive.
“Sam, how are you?”
“Really hungry.” Sam smiled. “How’s Dean?”
“Better now that the kids are here.” Aaron nodded. “They help him stay strong. He’s coping well. Should I go get him?”
“No, he probably needs to eat. Did the kids come see me?”
“Milo did. He must have known you were here because he got fussy as soon as they arrived. He’s with Michael, he’s okay.”
“Okay, good.”
“Here we go.” Amy sighed. “CNN.”
“Holy shit.” Sam whispered. “What else happened after I passed out?”
“Nothing.” Aaron said before he cleared his throat. “This is just because of you and they won’t leave.”
Sam was still starving but he had to put down the burger so he wouldn’t drop it. The shot on the television was of outside of the hospital. The streets were jammed packed with people for two blocks in every direction. It looked like every single person that had been at the rally had just walked right on over. Sam could see why they needed to be cleared out because they were blocking the entrances to the hospital. Apparently things had thinned out some in the emergency entrances but it wasn’t much and they’d definitely impede an ambulance’s progress.
“God, look at that Anderson Cooper.” Amy sighed. “Now there’s a man.”
“Yes, that’s something you would think.” Aaron said. “Can we turn this off now?”
“What exactly is it that no one wants me to see?”
“I just feel that this isn’t conducive to healing.”
Sam didn’t buy that for a second and if no one had the balls or ovaries to tell him what the hell was going on he was just going to have to hear it from Anderson Cooper. Him covering the story on Coming Out Day was more than a little funny and Sam considered commenting on it, but then there was a bit of breaking news that demanded his full attention. They had an update on the shooter who was identified as twenty-two year old Arnie Bruner of Mississippi.
He was young, younger than Sam thought he would be and apparently he got whatever was coming to him since he was survived by his mother, father, and a younger sister. Sam assumed that the cops had taken him out since there were some cops around but the crowd was just too thick. They couldn’t get to the man with the gun fast enough and even if they could it was too late. Arnie had shot at Sam in the middle of a crowd of his most devoted supporters and they tore him limb from limb.
“What?” Sam whispered. “What does that mean?”
“Sam, honey.” Amy said. “He was in the middle of a group, they saw the gun and fifty different people tried to get it away from him. They tore him apart and then trampled him when they were leaving.”
“How do you pull someone apart?”
“It’s easy when you have that many people. I don’t think they realized what they were doing before it was too late. Sam, can we turn this off now? Dean’s coming and I don’t want to give him more to worry about.”
“Yeah. Yeah, you’re right.”
Obviously Arnie deserved to be punished and probably to die, but Sam couldn’t think of a worse way to go. It was just horrible and even worse was the thought of people reacting that way because he tried to kill Sam. That sort of devotion was more than Sam wanted to deal with. He didn’t want admiration like that and he knew that’s exactly what it was. If someone had shot Jensen while he was up there the people in the audience would have been scared but not violent to the point of dismembering someone. It actually made Sam’s stomach hurt in a different way but he quickly brushed it off and tried his best to look presentable for when Dean walked in.
He was holding Mary and Michael had Milo but once they saw Sam was awake Dean beckoned the rest of the troops to file in nice and neat. Ollie was the first one in and he made quite an entrance by leaping out from behind Dean’s legs. He was also pretty smart since he ran to Aaron’s side so he could get a good seat. Ethan and Evan came in next and Sam hated that they looked so confused. Other kids might have put the pieces together but they were so sheltered they couldn’t quite make the connection between what they say on television and why Sam was in bed.
Someone who did make the connection came in last and he kept his eyes on the floor. Mikey looked just awful and it took everything Sam had to not cry. He had to stay brave and strong because if he started crying everyone else was going to as well. It was probably the hardest thing he had ever done in his life, but he had put on his big pants that morning.
“I’m going to call Auden.” Amy said. “Dean, you sit here. You can have the rest of my burger.”
“Thanks, Amy.”
“Hey, guys.” Sam smiled. “I’m so glad you came to see me.”
“Daddy, I don’t want you to be here.” Evan said. “I want you to come home.”
“I will in a few days.”
“Why not now?” Ethan asked. “We can help.”
“I know you can, but if I get better all of a sudden the doctors are going to want to know why and that break our big rule, right?”
“And see this?” Michael asked as he pointed out the IV. “That’s keeping him comfortable right now.”
“Ahbahwah!”
“Daddy, you gotta love on Miwhoa.” Ollie frowned. “He was so wit a yellin’. You wouldna believe.”
“Did you take care of him, baby?”
“A did indeed, daddy! You know we saw you in a movie!”
“Yeah?”
“Oh, you look so handsome, daddy!”
“Thanks, baby.” Sam laughed. “Michael, can you just kind of…shit.”
“It’s okay, Sammy.”
Sam tired to take Milo from Michael but his arms were just too weak. He had no idea how Dean had managed to heal all on his own because not being able to hold the kids was the worst torture imaginable. Michael made it work by sitting Milo on the bed and supporting him with a hand against his back. Sam wanted to hold him, he wanted to hold all of them, but he was just too broken and bruised. Obviously not pacing himself while he ate the burger was biting him in the ass because both of Sam’s arms were starting to ache more, but he fought through the pain.
“Give daddy a kiss, baby.” Dean said as he leaned forward with Mary. “There you go.”
“Bahwah.”
“I know.” Sam laughed. “Hey, Mikey.”
“Hi, daddy.”
“I’m okay.”
“I know, daddy.” Mikey nodded. “I know.”
“Come here, baby.”
Mikey kept his eyes on the ground and snugged himself as tightly as he could managed into the side of Dean’s chair. He was trying so hard to hide but he was too big and too smart. He knew that just because he couldn’t see something didn’t mean it wasn’t there. If Ollie covered his eyes the whole world disappeared but that didn’t work for Mikey.
“It’s okay.” Dean whispered. “I told you he’s okay.”
“I know, daddy.”
“Did…did you guys have a good day at school?” Sam asked. “Anything neat happen?”
“Mr. Watkins says your Beans is so close to weading, daddy!”
“Is that so? Well, I’m very proud of you. We all are, right guys?”
“We sure are!” Ethan said. “We’re so proud of you Ollie.”
“Daddy, what’s…I don’t know what this thing is.” Evan said as he touched Sam’s hand. “What is that?”
“That’s how I’m getting some medicine. It’s like a…really big shot.”
That got Mikey’s attention because he looked up from his hiding spot but it was just for a second. Sam came close to seeing his eyes but he was a little tired and not quick enough. Ethan and Evan wanted to know all about the IV so Sam filled them in as best as he could and then they got some more accurate information from a nurse. She had come in to check on Sam and she brought some more figure friendly food. Sam didn’t finish his burger so he was glad to have a little bowl of potato soup and a roll. There was a salad too but he was only interested in something warm.
The kids hung out for a while, but Aaron had promised to take them to see the babies. Evan sort of looked like he wanted to stay but Dean whispered something to him and got a little nod in return. Anthony and Bruce were going along to keep an eye on them and Sam made sure that they knew to come see him since he hadn’t seen them yet. He hadn’t seen Jeremy or Jared and Jensen either and he kind of wanted to in order to give them a little peace of mind.
Mikey stayed behind with Dean and Mary and clearly Milo was completely uninterested in moving. The bed Sam was in had rails and he made himself nice and comfortable with a little spot of belly to rest on. Sam had no idea what time it was but it looked like it was getting a little darker out so it was probably time for bed.
“Did they eat?”
“Yeah, dad brought them some food from home.”
“Did you eat?”
“Yeah.”
“No, you didn’t.” Mikey whispered. “He was feeding the babies and he hit Jensen.”
“Mikey…”
“You hit Jensen?” Sam asked. “Why?”
“Earlier. When they brought you in he said he was sorry and I hit him. I…I’m going to tell him I’m sorry.”
“Dean, it’s not his fault. You can’t blame him for something someone else did.”
“You don’t blame him?” Dean asked. “They wouldn’t have known you were going to be there if he hadn’t told the HRC to post about it.”
“Maybe not but placing blame on him isn’t going to help or change anything.”
“Why did he shoot you, daddy?” Mikey asked. “Why would someone do that to you?”
“Mikey will you look at me?”
“I don’t want to.”
“Why?”
“Because then it’s real and someone really hurt you for no reason. That lady in pink she…she went to heaven.”
“Baby, it’s real whether you look or not.” Dean said. “You don’t have to, but how are you going to know if he’s really okay if you don’t?”
Mary was in Dean’s arms and she gave Mikey the gentlest little pat on the head to encourage him. Sam didn’t know if that was something he needed or not but he finally looked up. It was obvious he had been crying which just had to be the most confusing thing in the world to the rest of the kids because their big brother was too tough to cry. Sam used to think the same thing and when he realized it wasn’t true it was one of the best things that had ever happened to him.
“Hi, daddy.”
“Hey.” Sam smiled. “See, I’m okay.”
“You didn’t fall down the stairs.” Mikey said after he looked over at Dean. “Did you?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“Why’d you tell me you did?”
“So I could protect you.” Dean nodded. “I wanted to protect you, but I can’t…That’s something I won’t always be able to do.”
“When I grow up.” Mikey said as he walked to the edge of the bed. “Me and Charlie we’re going to protect people. We’re going to ride around in a car and he’s going to drive and we’re going to help people.”
“Wha…what?” Sam asked. “Why would you want to do that?”
“Because we can help people and we should. Charlie said it wasn’t a good idea but I think it is. I’ll keep you safe, daddy.”
“That’s not your job.”
“Then whose job is it?” Mikey asked. “Who’s supposed to stop bad people from hurting you, both of you?”
“I don’t…I don’t know.”
Sam couldn’t answer that because there wasn’t anyone to stop someone from breaking into the house. There wasn’t anyone out there to keep an eye on things so some maniac didn’t pull out a gun in the middle of the crowd. Sam wasn’t sure what he was supposed to say but he knew he’d be dead in the cold ground before he saw his son become a hunter.
“They don’t like John Michaels.” Mikey said. “Is that why they hurt you?”
“Yes.” Sam nodded. “They don’t like what he could be capable of I guess.”
“Then I think you need to not be him anymore, daddy. I think that’s an ideal solution. You get rid of him and people won’t hurt either of you anymore.”
“I completely agree with you, Mikey.” Sam smiled. “Completely.”
“You do?” Dean asked. “What does that mean, Sammy?”
“John, Robert, Clark…Where am I at, Dean? He’s right. I’m done with this. It’s not worth it, nothing is worth this. Nothing is worth my kids having to see me in a hospital. John Michaels is gone.”
“But…”
“No.” Sam whispered. “I want to leave him on that stage.”
Dean tired to say something again but Sam stopped it with the sweetest smile he could manage. He had been up for way too long and Milo was out. Sam wanted to join him for just a few minutes. He wanted to sleep and mourn the loss of a great man.
Dean was really pissed off and it had little to do with the day he had so far. He was the idea man, he came up with the brilliant ideas that saved the day and to be upstaged by someone as dumb as Jared Padalecki just gnawed at him in all the wrong ways. Jared was basically completely mentally defective, but he was still the only one who could come up with a way to clear out the streets around the hospital. The people standing out there that had actually set up a vigil weren’t hurting anyone but they were in the way.
The only reason they were still hanging around was because they wanted to see Sam so Jared thought they should just give them what they wanted. He changed his clothes, put on a pair of sunglasses, and plopped down in wheelchair. Dean of course knew that it wasn’t Sam, but no one else would. They’d see him being wheeled out of the hospital and into a waiting car and then they’d all go home. They’d have to ignore the fact that there was no way anyone would be released so soon, but Dean was sure they could tell themselves Sam was such a big deal that he got special treatment.
Jared was taking a pretty big risk exiting the hospital as Sam but it went off without a problem. Dean rolled him out and helped him into the back of John’s car before Justin drove off with him. It was good that he was driving since he was really looking forward to some evasive maneuvers. Dean didn’t think it was going to come to that and he was hoping the paparazzi would respect Sam or rather Jared just once. Justin was going to drive in circles for a while and then deposit him at home. It worked perfectly and not ten minutes after Jared was gone Dean began to see the crowds thin out some.
It was really a relief because once they were gone things might regain some semblance of normalcy. They were all being very nice but it was just too many people. Dean had a hell of a time getting the kids into the hospital and it wasn’t any easier getting them out. They needed a police escort to do it, but most of the people standing by had been respectful and kept their distance.
Dean was watching people leave to give Sam some time alone upstairs. He was finishing up his last round of visiting with Bruce and Anthony before they had to leave. The nurse said Aaron, Jeremy, and Carol could stay a little longer, but she wanted Sam to get his rest. The other reason Dean was outside was because he was trying to think of something to say to Jensen. They were standing next to each other outside under the eaves of the exit and Dean had barely said ten words to him. He wanted to clear the air and make sure they were okay but he didn’t know how because while Sam didn’t blame him Dean did, just a little.
“I’m going to call a cab I think. If Jeremy and Aaron want to crash at our place that’s fine with us.”
“I’ll tell them.”
“Call if you need anything.”
“Jen, wait.” Dean said before he turned to face him. “Listen…”
“I’m sorry, Dean. I’m so sorry. I said I was sorry that’s all I can do.”
“I know, I know.” Dean nodded. “I know it’s not your fault.”
“But it is.” Jensen whispered. “I said to announce it and that’s why that guy was there. I gave him advanced notice.”
“I’m not going to argue with that, but it’s not your fault.”
“And when I stopped you, Dean, I…”
“I know.”
“You do?”
“Yeah.” Dean smiled. “I know. You stopped me because…”
“No!” Jensen yelled. “If you know and I know there’s no reason to say it out loud. We know, that’s fine.”
“You stopped me because you thought Sam was going to die and you weren’t going to let my kids lose both their parents.”
“He could have shot you too.”
“So, I guess I should thank you.”
“I’m sorry.”
Just because Jensen hadn’t been shot didn’t mean he made it through the day unscathed. None of them really had and they’d all be different as a result. Jeremy and Aaron had fixed Jensen up and he wasn’t bruised anymore, but he was still a little wounded. It was all just emotional turmoil though and Dean could help with that or at least he thought he could. Standing outside under the eaves of the hospital he held on to Jensen and let him cry. He was a tough guy but in Dean’s experience those guys broke the hardest. He had been a wreck all day and he was obviously waiting for someone besides Jared to let loose on. Dean was tempted to cry with him but he didn’t want to steal focus so he just held on tight until Jensen got it all out.
After they broke apart Jensen called a cab and Dean waited with him while they talked a little business. The movie was on hold for at least a week or so. Jared had been fielding frantic phone calls all day and everyone agreed it was best to just take a little break. At the time it was going to be a prolonged break since Jensen’s mug wasn’t film ready but he was back to being practically perfect. Dean didn’t want to make decisions for Sam but he didn’t want him to deal with it, so he just told Jensen to give it a week before they started filming again so everyone could calm down which was going to work out fine.
Once Jensen was on his way back home Dean started to make his way back to Sam’s room. He stopped right before the elevator to go to the bathroom and then he found himself in front of the mirror washing his hands and staring into his eyes. He looked like he was about forty years old and hadn’t slept in a month. His eyes were heavy and red and his skin just looked way too shiny. He laughed at himself because ten years ago he wouldn’t have noticed something like that but he was a different man, not better or worse, just different.
Though Sam would gasp in horror when he found out Dean washed his face with the liquid hand soap. Sam was awfully fussy about appropriate soaps for the hands, face, and body and they certainly didn’t intermingle. Dean was too damn tired to follow the rules though and he felt better than he had in hours once he was done patting his face dry with the rough paper towels. The room Sam was in had a shower in the bathroom and he was definitely going to sneak one in before he went to bed. Auden and Jared had thrown a few things in a bag and Dean was hoping they had some comfortable sweatpants, a paper-thin t-shirt, thick socks, and maybe if he was lucky a pair of slippers.
When he got upstairs Carol was gathering up her things to hit the road. She was outside Sam’s room in the little private waiting room. It hadn’t started out private, but with so many people trying to get close to Sam it quickly became that way. The hospital had locked off two doors and there was a cop who wasn’t letting just anyone through. It was a little post assassination perk that Sam had earned which was actually kind of nice.
“Hey, honey.” Carol smiled. “How are you doing?”
“Tired.” Dean laughed. “Mom, I’m so tired.”
“You know he’s fine, right?”
“Yeah, I do. Doesn’t make it any easier. Were you watching?”
“Of course I was.”
“I thought I lost him, mom.”
“You will never lose him.” Carol said as she touched his cheek. “Never, no matter what happens in this life you’ll never lose him.”
“But…”
“Never.”
“Thanks.”
“I’ll be back in the morning, okay?”
“Yeah.” Dean nodded. “I’ll see you then.”
Dean accepted the longest hug he had probably ever had from Carol and then she kissed on him on the cheek before she left. She was heading to Amy and Auden’s which was like their base camp for the next few days. Whether he liked it or not Sam was stuck in the city for a while and Amy didn’t want the kids to be shuffled back and forth. She opened up her home to all of them and Dean couldn’t begin to think of a way to thank her.
After Carol left Dean was alone in the waiting room for about a minute. He could have gone into Sam’s room but those moment to compose himself were doing wonders. They were really the only reason he hadn’t completely broken down a thousands times already. He kept taking everything moment by moment and he knew in about an hour maybe he could curl up in the chair next to Sam’s bed and rest. Just the thought of it made him feel ten times better and he was actually smiling a little when Anthony and Bruce walked out from their visit with Sam.
Anthony had been crying pretty much all day. He was in the crowd when the shots started and he had to make a choice of either getting to the stage or saving his life. Everyone was running away and he had to do the same since he couldn’t fight against the crowd. He got all turned around and didn’t make it to the hospital for a while which wasn’t the end of the world but the entire time he was trying to get there he was thinking Sam was dead.
“Hey guys.” Dean smiled. “Going home?”
“Yeah.” Bruce nodded. “Nick’s watching the baby and Nathan. We don’t know who to worry about more.”
“He’s good with Charlie.” Anthony said. “He’s pretty good with him.”
“Yeah, he is.”
“Anthony, Sammy’s fine.”
“I know, I just…He almost wasn’t. It’s not fair.”
“No, it’s not.”
“Listen.” Anthony said as he stood up straighter. “We’re going to go feed the animals and I’ll be back tomorrow morning. I’ll pack some stuff for you two and the kids. Do you need anything from the house?”
“Uh, be sure to get Milo’s alphabet book. Bring both of them because his is the same as Mary’s but he’ll know.”
“Okay, yeah.”
“You need anything?” Bruce asked. “You want some magazines or a book?”
“Um, the laptop maybe?”
“We’ll get it. I’ll bring everything tomorrow.”
“Thanks, guys.”
“We love you.” Bruce said. “Don’t forget that okay?”
“I won’t, me too.”
Bruce obviously was fighting what he had to do and what he wanted to do. He had to go back home to take care of Charlie and Nathan, but Dean could see he wanted to stay just in case. He wanted to be there when Dean finally broke down but no one else was going to be around when that happened except for Sam. Bruce held on for a long time when they hugged but eventually he sucked up his breath, took Anthony’s hand and walked out of the waiting room. Dean was pretty proud of him because he only looked back twice and he was smiling both times.
Jeremy and Aaron were the only ones left in the room with Sam. They said they were acting as guards but Dean knew they were doing a much better job of keeping him in high spirits. For someone who had nearly been assassinated Sam sure was in a good mood which was understandable since it was hard to frown when two idiots were so obviously cheating at whatever card game they played. Justin had actually brought the cards because he knew they were a great way to spend the time but Dean didn’t think he intended for Jeremy and Aaron to cheat quite as often as they were.
“How’d it work out?” Sam asked. “Did it work?”
“Like a charm.” Dean smiled. “They started clearing out as soon as he left. Jen took a cab back home.”
“Did you make up with him?” Aaron asked. “You’ll feel better.”
“I did, and I do. He said you guys can crash at their place tonight. I think Amy and Auden are filled to capacity.”
“Yeah, we’ll do that.” Jeremy said. “Good idea.”
“How are you feeling, Sammy?” Dean asked. “Don’t force yourself to stay awake.”
“I’m fine, really. I’ve been drifting in and out all day. Dean, I know you won’t go to Amy and Auden’s to sleep but you can if you…”
“No.”
“I was just saying.”
“I’m staying here.” Dean smiled. “Can you guys keep an eye on him for five more minutes while I take a shower?”
“Of course, Dean.” Aaron said. “Take your time.”
“Hey, are you two okay?”
Dean felt bad for not asking them and he couldn’t remember if he asked John. He was so concerned about Sam and it had to be almost as hard on Jeremy and Aaron. He was their brother too and while obviously he meant more to Dean it still had to hurt them. They both nodded and smiled and Dean didn’t ask for an actual answer. He was too tired to really talk about much of anything anymore and that shower was looking better and better.
“Wait a minute, now.”
“What? You okay, Sammy?”
“I might be if you give me all your kisses.”
Dean laughed and then put down the bag full of clothes so he could walk over to the bed and give Sam some sugar. He looked so tired but Dean believe him when he said he didn’t need more sleep. The kisses were great either way and Dean was pretty sure that his sugar made the healing process a lot easier. Sam certainly looked better afterwards and Jeremy was obviously jealous since he presented his cheek. Dean gave him one quick kiss and then went into the bathroom with the bag.
The door closed and locked but Dean left it wide open. If a nurse or doctor came in they would just have to consider themselves very lucky for getting a peek at his firm ass and thick cock. He wasn’t shutting that door just in case Sam needed him and even the thought of the plastic curtain between them was a little more than Dean could handle but he closed it anyway mostly so he wouldn’t be splashing water everywhere. Sam had been to the bathroom earlier and if he went again Dean wasn’t going to risk him slipping and hurting himself even more.
There was no fancy soap or designer shampoo and there definitely wasn’t a massaging shower head, but the water was hot and the pressure was good. Dean’s best showers happened when Sam was in there with him but the one at the hospital was pretty damn good. He had a little bar of soap and a travel sized bottle of some cheap two in one shampoo and conditioner and that was all Dean really needed. He really didn’t want to stay away from Sam for long, but the water felt so good and it was loud in the small bathroom so Dean got to pretend that there was little else in the world.
The hot water relaxed Dean a little too much because before he knew it he was staring at his hard cock. It was such a nice piece of equipment but watching the water roll off the head in a thin stream sort of made him sad. He knew that it was completely ridiculous and selfish to be thinking about sex but it was on his mind. When he went to bed he liked to get Sam off one way or the other and he wouldn’t get to do that tonight. He’d have to just sit next to him in an uncomfortable chair because someone had tried to snuff out his light. Had they succeeded Dean would never get over it, the kids would always miss their daddy and John would never be the same ever again no matter how much time passed.
That train of thought was what finally broke Dean down. He had been too strong all day and he was tired of it. He had so wanted to ignore everything but he couldn’t do it. He had to accept that fact that just a few hours ago someone had tried to assassinate Sam and they came very close to succeeding. The world would mourn for it’s loss but very few people would ever really know what they were missing because no one really knew Sam not like Dean did, not like his family did.
Dean felt like his chest was caving in and the water just kept getting hotter. He was sucking up his breath and breathing in the steam while all the snot dripping from his nose got washed away. He was tired, he was scared, but most of all he was angry at the world because Anthony was absolutely right. It just wasn’t fair. Because he thought it might make him feel better Dean balled up his fists and slammed them as hard as he could into the cheap utilitarian tile around the shower. That first hit hurt so bad but he just kept doing it until the tile cracked and his hands bled.
He really lost count and when he was ready to punch clear through the fucking wall someone stopped him. Someone reached into he shower, through the water that had gone cold and grabbed both of his wrists to stop him from hurting himself anymore. Dean’s eyes were all blurry from crying and he was so tired he could barely see straight but he knew those hands. He knew them wrapped around books when he was a little boy and then guns when he was too young to understand. He saw those hands hold knives and throw punches, but Dean like to think of them all rough and worn holding on to one of the kids. John was still so rough when Mikey was a baby but his hands looked right against bright white onesies or red ones if they were going to party like rock stars.
“It’s okay, Dean.” John whispered. “Stop hurting yourself.”
“It’s not okay, dad.”
“Yes, it is. Come on, let’s get you dried off and dressed.”
“You were going to watch the kids.”
“Your kiss ass grandpa can do it.” John said. “And Carol, and Michael, and Alex. I want to be here with you.”
When Dean nodded John let go of his wrists and then handed him a towel. Dean was still at about half mast but he didn’t care enough to keep his back to John. His hands were aching and he just wanted to get back to Sam to make sure he was okay. Hurting himself wasn’t going to solve anything. In fact it was just going to make things worse because Sam would worry.
“Let’s see, there’s some sweatpants, a t-shirt, big wool socks and…” John said as he dug deeper into the bag. “A pair of old man slippers.”
“Why’d you pick that?”
“Well it’s what I’d want. Are you going to free ball or do you want a pair of Auden’s underwear?”
“What kind are they?”
“Armani.”
“Fucking figures.” Dean laughed. “He’s such a fuckin…”
“Oh, and Dolce and Gabbana.”
“That figures too.” Dean sighed. “Whatever, I don’t care.”
John handed over the little black Dolce and Gabbana briefs and then took the towel back from Dean. As soon as he had the underwear on John was holding on to his hands and applying some pressure to stop the bleeding. It wasn’t bad at all, mostly just scrapes but Dean couldn’t leave the bathroom with blood on his hands.
“Do you think you could call him tomorrow?”
“Who?”
“Auden.” John said. “He’s uh…He’s not doing well. Amy said she was going to stay with the baby so he could come but he couldn’t. No one turned the television off for him.”
“He’s never going to completely be over him, is he?”
“No, I don’t suspect he will. I don’t suspect anyone would.”
“He did seem a little lost earlier. I’ll call him tomorrow.”
“You’re a good man, Dean.” John said. “Probably the best I’ve ever met.”
“I try.”
“I don’t think you do at all.”
Dean smiled and then was taken completely by surprised when John kissed him. It was just on the cheek but they weren’t really kissing guys. It only happened maybe twice a year and that was just recently. Dean was probably thirty when John first kissed him as an adult but it never felt strange. It always felt like the best hug and the best smile all rolled up into one. Dean was grateful for that kiss and more than ever before he was grateful for John.
Sweatpants were never going to be the height of fashion but Dean was sure he had on the best pair in the world. They were perfectly worn and so comfortable that Auden was never getting them back. If Dean had to pay some astronomical sum he was going to keep them. John also said they made his ass look fantastic and maybe that was better than comfort. Even the paw-paw slippers were pretty amazing and Dean was certainly going to consider getting himself a pair to wear around the house.
“Are you okay?” Sam asked as soon as Dean walked out of the bathroom. “What happened?”
“I punched the wall.”
“Did it make you feel better?”
“A little.” Dean smiled. “Where are Jeremy and Aaron?”
“I sent them to Jared and Jensen’s. They’ve been here all day.”
“I didn’t want Sam to be alone, dad.” Dean said. “I didn’t want…”
“Thank you.” John said after he opened the door. “I appreciate it.”
“He made the cop watch me.” Sam whispered. “I was fine.”
“Oh.”
The very nice cop who most likely wasn’t named Libby peered into the room and then nodded at John without saying a word. He had moved right next to the door and while he probably didn’t need to be there Dean really felt better that he was right outside the door. With him outside and John inside nothing was going to get to Sam not that it was really an issue.
“I want to go home in the morning.”
“Sammy, you can’t.”
“I feel fine.”
“I’m sure you do.” Dean said. “But they’re not going to let you walk out of here after one night. We’ll ask them tomorrow. Maybe we can go home on Friday.”
“Jeremy said they could tell the doctors to release you and then him and Aaron will heal you up.” John said. “I don’t see why we can’t go home tomorrow.”
“I don’t…I don’t think I want them to heal me.”
“Excuse me?” Dean asked. “What was that?”
“Dean you had to deal with this for weeks. I sort of…I don’t know I think I should do the same.”
“Sam, I got shot once. You can barely move either of your arms for more than a few seconds. It’s going to take weeks of therapy.”
“I’m okay with that.” Sam shrugged. “I…ow…”
“Sammy.”
Sam couldn’t even handle shrugging so Dean had no idea why he wouldn’t want Jeremy and Aaron to just give him a quick once over to help out. It was absolutely taking the easy way out but the alternative was going to be slow as shit and incredibly painful. The physical pain was bad enough, but what Dean went through when he couldn’t care for the kids was so much worse and he didn’t want that for Sam. He didn’t care what he wanted Jeremy and Aaron were going to fix him up as soon as they left the hospital.
“Don’t be stubborn, Sammy.” John said as he pulled over a chair. “Next few months are too busy for you to be in pain. Michael’s birthday is coming up, then the auction, there’s too much going on.”
“Don’t suffer because I did, that’s stupid.”
“I just thought I should do it on my own.”
“Sammy, you got shot twice today, I think you’ve proven you’re strong enough.”
“Yeah.”
“Poker?” John asked. “I barely even know her!”
“I’ve got one more game in me.” Sam laughed. “I guess. Dean?”
“Yeah, one game.”
Dean lost which was rare but it was only because he wasn’t paying attention. He was completely focused on Sam. His laugh was a little weak and his smile wasn’t as bright as normal but he was laughing and smiling which Dean was so grateful for because he had his doubts. He had so much he wanted to talk about since it was obvious Sam knew he was going to be shot before he took the stage. Dean also wanted to know how something so big hadn’t even blipped on Jeremy’s radar and why Gabe had stayed on the periphery of the crisis. All those questions and about ten more had to wait because Dean was enjoying the poker game too much.
He waited until John and Sam were both asleep before he went to the bathroom to completely and quietly break down. |
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