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[Jun. 16th, 2009|06:08 pm] |
I screwed up the word count. This story make it 50k, but the next story was written as 50k. Either way they're both 50k worthy.
Title: Moving On.
Author: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) bitchandjerk
Characters: Sam/Dean,John/Mary/OFC OMCs OFCs
Rating :R
Words10,400/2,751,400
Warnings: Wincest,
Summary: A week after the shooting Auden finally comes to see Sam with some news.
Notes::AU, rest are here.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.
Feedback: Makes me hard
Sam was a world class pro at what Dean liked to call "Dickin'!" which wasn't to be confused with making sweet puppy love down by the fire or straight up fucking. Getting dicked was something else entirely and though Dean hadn't ever been with anyone else he was pretty sure Sam was the best. He had discussed it with Aaron, Bruce, and Jensen at the last meeting of the "Big Boy's Bottom Club" and they all agreed that their better halves just couldn't do what Dean had described in detail.
Getting dicked involved Dean bottoming which in itself wasn't anything remarkable but the ferocity and intensity at which Sam forced him to bottom was what made it special. He could just hit his groove and pound on Dean like a drum for hours coming over and over again. Sam could easily bust off six or so times before he even started to slow down and while he was doing that he was usually beating Dean off as well and letting him make a mess all over the place which meant dickin' was usually followed by laundry day.
On Wednesday when Dean was least expecting it Sam took him upstairs and dicked him hard. They never had sex in the middle of the day but Mikey was in the city, Ollie was at school, and the babies were with John watching Ethan and Evan dance. There was nothing else going on so Dean didn't see why he couldn't let Sam unload in him before they cuddled and maybe took a quick nap. He was expecting something simple but then Sam found his stride and Dean was gnawing on the pillow to stop from screaming. It was pretty damn fantastic and Dean came three times before he got way too sleepy to keep track.
He was pretty sure Sam came about four but they were four completely furious and primal orgasms that rocked Dean's entire body from his button to the tip of his nose. Dean remembered thinking it was a little odd that Sam only came four times but he didn't have the energy or the electrolytes to think about it at length. He just let the sweet calm of sleep wash over him while Sam was still twitching inside. That was the best way in the world to fall asleep which Dean got everyone to agree with the last time they had a meeting. Technically Aaron hadn't agreed since he didn't really talk about sex but Dean knew he was a total slut for a nut in the butt before beddy bye bye.
Waking up with a backdoor visitor wasn't so shabby either and Dean was sort of hoping for that but when he drifted out of sleep he was alone in the bed. He smelled like a jockstrap and the rest of the room was pretty delicious as well, which was odd because normally when Sam threw down he'd have to do the sheets right afterwards. He hadn't even bothered to spritz a little Febreeze around which Dean sort of appreciated since hot load and French lavender didn't really mingle as well as one might think.
Once he was sitting up in bed Dean scanned the room to see if Sam was there but it was all empty and so was the closet and the bathroom. Dean spent a few minutes in the bathroom trying to check on his button which was normally Sam's job since they had rules and if you busted a button you had to take care of it until it was better. Dean couldn't see anything and all he was really doing was turning around like Spotty did when he was trying to catch his tail.
Because he was rank as all hell Dean decided on a very quick shower. If they were alone he totally would have kept the stank on his skin but Craig was downstairs with the twins and Dean knew he could smell gay sex from a mile away. Even John was around it so often that he'd probably pick it up in the air and then Dean would have to deal with lots of lewd winking and probably more than one inappropriate and sexually confusing question.
When Dean was all clean and his button was sparkly fresh he pulled on some jeans and a t-shirt since he was just hanging around the house until he picked up Ollie from school. He was even thinking about sending John to do it so he could stay at home with Sam. He was still on house arrest and Dean wanted to be as supportive as he could. He figured that if he was staying home as well then Sam wouldn't think there was lots of fun stuff going on that he couldn't participate in. Also, if Dean was supportive it seemed less likely that Sam would fuck him for two hours to exhaust him for the sole purpose of escaping as soon as he fell asleep.
Dean figured out that's what happened as soon as he made it down the stairs and into the living room. There was some strange stuff going on there and he knew that Sam had obviously jumped shipped, in fact he had probably been planning his escape for a while which meant he'd have to be punished right in the butt. It wasn't like Dean was keeping him home just to keep him home, people that got shot twice didn't just go to the grocery a week later.
The first odd thing in the living room actually had little to do with Sam not being there, but it maybe had everything to do with Anthony being there. James was sitting on the sofa with his nose buried in a magazine with Mr. Hudson on the cover. Supernatural was already getting a massive amount of publicity simply because Anthony did three interviews a week and had been doing them since he landed the role. Dean couldn't imagine what he'd be like in a year when the movie was actually done and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't sort of looking forward to it.
On the cover Anthony was sort of grungey and dirty and his body looked absolutely phenomenal. If he was a naturally bigger guy he'd totally have Sam beat in the hot body department but Anthony was sort of small and compact so he couldn't bulk up in the same way big daddy did. It sure as hell wasn't a handicap because he looked amazing. Dean actually had to think nice safe thoughts because seeing Anthony shirtless and filthy was turning him on more than it should have and it totally explained why Bruce was suddenly completely fine with his actor husband.
The second odd thing which was most definitely because of Sam was Anthony gagged and tied to the chair in the living room. He was tied up with some of that fancy polyester rope which Dean hated because it was so comfortable. He liked natural ropes because at the end of the day he wanted proof that Sam had tied him up and mercilessly fucked him. You just couldn't get that with polyester but it was perfect for stringing up bikes in the garage.
James who wasn't tied up wasn't paying any attention to Anthony at all. He was just focused on the magazine and Spotty who was napping next to him. James was scratching his big goofy ears and Dean gave him a little scratch as well when he passed. That made Anthony start squealing like a buff little piggy because clearly he wanted Dean to rescue him, which he was totally going to do after he stroked the front of his jeans to give him a boner.
"Why haven't you untied him?" Dean asked. "Has he been here long?"
"I came to see if Sam wanted to go for a walk in the woods and Anthony was tied up here."
"And that didn't strike you as odd?"
"Heavens no. I could tell Sam tied those knots and if I'm not mistaken those are his underwear in Anthony's mouth."
"Oh my..." Dean said before he pulled out the underwear. "Are these clean?"
"Yes!" Anthony panted. "That's the worst part!
"Anthony, I've told you a hundred times I'll trade you a pair of his sweaty panties for a pair of Bruce's."
"He used his Jedi powers on me!"
"Oh shit, really?"
"Yes!" Anthony yelled. "He said he was going out and I said that wasn't a good idea and then he...sort of flicked me to the chair and tied me up!"
"Did he say where he was going?"
"No, he just tied me up then he rubbed his butt on my face, it was....okay it was hot but still."
"He rubbed his butt on your face?"
"Yeah." Anthony frowned. "Because he said he was sorry he had to tie me up. It was nice but then putting clean underwear in my mouth? That's just hitting way below the belt."
"Hmm!"
After Dean untied Anthony he started to pace and think. To find Sam he was going to have to think and possibly act like Sam. He knew he couldn't have gotten far and he really did understand why he couldn't be out in public so it seemed unlikely he'd go shoe shopping. The grocery store didn't seem likely either because there were a lot of people there and Sam was a regular. They'd notice him if he went there. Shoes and dinner were kind of Sam's main things so Dean decided to focus on them while he tried to figure it out.
"I am a big goofy smarty pants and I don't let Dean do anything he wants to like farting in bed or..." Dean said before he paused and clapped. "Randall's organic produce stand!"
"Oooh! He has the juiciest papayas!"
"You fucked him?" Dean whispered. "He's our fruit guy for Christ's sake."
"Actual papaya." Anthony sighed. "You think he went to the fruit stand?"
"That depends. Which car did he take?"
"The Bentley." James said without looking away from his magazine. "Oh, if you ever saw a real demon you'd mess yourself!"
"I did see a real demon!"
"Jeremy?" James asked. "Pft. A half breed at best. I once bitch slapped the very first demon simply for disrespecting me until she had little pink hand prints all over her face."
"Jeremy was plenty scary." Anthony said. "I saw him, he counts."
"No, I don't think so." James laughed. "Dean, it says in this interview that if he ran into a demon he'd fight it."
"You wish!" Dean laughed. "You're such a cute harmless mini-Jared!"
"Oh!" Anthony gasped. "I'm a much better actor than he is."
"Yeah, well, I left something in the toilet yesterday that was better than he is. Focus guys! We have to find Sammy."
"Why?" James asked. "Let him go to the fruit stand and then he'll come back home most likely with fruit."
"How do you know he didn't go shoe shopping?"
"Anthony!" Dean sighed. "He would have taken the Escalade because it can hold more shoes."
"Well, he really wanted to leave, maybe you can just let him do his thing."
"I agree with Buffy." James said. "He'll be back home in a moment I'm sure."
"Buffy." Anthony grinned. "Yeah..."
"He means because you'd both scream your vag off if you ever came up against a real demon."
"Oh...dick."
While Anthony and James argued over who was the better hunter Dean waited one moment, and then two and then three more. It actually worked out to about a half hour and he was starting to get nervous. He could have easily called Sam to see where he was and what he was doing but Dean had a very strong desire to go find him. He wanted to sneak up on him to see for himself what he was up to. If he called there was a good chance Sam might fib and say he was just riding around, but Dean was almost positive that wasn't the case.
Sam's Bentley was just about as inconspicuous as the Impala and Dean knew he'd have no trouble finding it. All he had to do was check Sam's usual haunts and the one closest to the house was the produce stand. When they first moved to Westport it was sort of a rickety shack on the side of the rode but the man had fantastic and beautiful produce. He fixed his shack up and then before Dean knew it he had a proper building that everyone still referred to as a stand. Randall was out front sweeping but Sam's car wasn't there. That didn't mean he hadn't been there though so Dean asked and Randall just shook his head before giving him a free watermelon on the house.
Dean's second stop was at the grocery store but Sam's car wasn't there either. He scanned the parking lot twice and while he saw numerous luxury cars there were no big black custom Bentleys. When he was about to start his third scan just to be sure Dean saw someone he did know coming out of the grocery store with a full basket. Michelle had obviously been shopping for a while and if Sam was in there she would have seen him and hopefully insisted he go home. She had actually sent flowers and visited with Sam on Monday unlike a certain other supposed best friend he wasn't going to think about.
"Michelle!"
"Hey, Dean. I thought that was you."
"Hey, listen, did you see Sammy in there? I've misplaced him."
"Um..." Michelle said before she laughed. "No, I didn't. Shouldn't he still be at home resting?"
"Apparently he's tired of being at home."
"Did you check that fancy shoe store he keeps in business?"
"That's where I'm going now. If you see him will you call me?"
"Absolutely."
"Thank you...oh, we'll see you at the auction, right?"
"We'll be there."
"Excellent." Dean smiled. "Thank you!"
"No problem."
With another person looking Dean felt a little better but then he felt worse once he got to the little shoe store and Sam wasn't there. Michelle really wasn't joking when she said Sam kept the place in business because Dean couldn't imagine who else was buying six hundred dollar shoes from a tiny store in Westport with New York so close. Even the mall had the boutiques in it where anyone could drop a few bills. That briefly made Dean consider the mall but Sam was way too scared of those large crowds normally and there was no way he'd go there when he was still all over the front page of every newspaper and magazine.
Dean was on his way back to the house and seriously considering calling Sam when he finally spotted the black Bentley. It was all by itself in an empty parking lot and Dean pulled up right next to it. He hadn't been to the park since they had to talk to Gabe about Jeremy ODing on the magics. It was a much different place on a Wednesday morning because Sam was probably the only person since Dean didn't count ducks as people.
There were about fifteen of them just kind of standing around in front of the bench where Sam was sitting. Some were being very well behaved while others were honking and snapping at each other. Sam looked a little like he was addressing his subjects and rewarding them with bread from the three loaves he had next to him. The parking lot was a good distance away so Sam didn't turn when Dean pulled up or got out of the car. He just kept feeding the ducks like there wasn't anything else worth doing in the world.
Dean approached slowly and silently and he was considering jumping out to scare Sam but he didn't want to spook the ducks and as he got closer he realized how inappropriate that would be. Sam might have dicked Dean to exhaust him and then rubbed his ass against Anthony's face but apparently that was all the fun he had. Dean hadn't seen him looking so depressed in months and he hated that he was maybe a little responsible for that since he had recommended putting Sam on lockdown.
"Hey."
"Hey." Dean smiled. "How'd you know I was here?"
"Dean, I'm like Satan's understudy, besides I always know when you're around."
"You are big with the brain powers."
"Or heart." Sam said as he looked over. "I know I shouldn't have left but I needed to get out for a while."
"You could have told someone where you were going."
"I told James."
"He said...that sneaky pioneer! Did you tell him you were coming to the park?"
"Yeah, and that I'd be about an hour."
Yet again Dean had been fooled by one of James' underhanded tricks. He honestly believed he had no idea where Sam was and he knew all along. He even tried to throw Dean off the scent by agreeing he was at the produce stand. That settled it, Dean was going to have to get fucked by him as soon as he got back home just to teach him a lesson about telling tales.
"You stopped to get bread?"
"At the gas station with my sunglasses on."
"And that nifty baseball cap?" Dean asked. "You look like a sex offender."
"I do offend people with my offensive sex. No one recognized me and I made all these new friends."
"They're sort of filthy and disease ridden and obviously starving."
"Yeah." Sam sighed. "That's Quacky, Quackers, Quackenstein, Queer Duck, Quackula, Quackthony, Quacksen, Quackred, Tiffany, Notorious Q.U.A.C.K, Quacklin Kennedy Quacknassis, and Denise Richards."
"What's the name of that fucked up looking one with no feathers?"
"Quacktard."
"Huh." Dean whispered. "Tiffany?"
"She came over first and there didn't seem to be anyone around."
"Do...do you really think that fucked up looking one is retarded?"
"Yeah, watch."
Sam threw a piece of bread to the duck and instead of picking it up with his beak he sat down on it like he was trying to eat it with his ass. He definitely seemed a little messed up but once Sam threw some more bread at him he realized that food went in the mouth. Retarded or not he could handle his own because as soon as another duck, Queer Duck maybe, tried to get the bread he pecked the shit out of him and puffed up his mostly bare wings.
"Wow."
"He's hardcore. I'm going to see if Jeremy can heal him."
"You'll have to change his name."
"I'll think of something. Help me tear up the rest of this bread and then we can go home."
"We can stay, Sammy." Dean smiled. "What's on your mind?"
"Nothing."
"Come on, what is it?"
"It's so dumb." Sam laughed. "I scheduled a yoga class when we got back from Paris and it started today and yesterday I got an email from Larry about the Armani commercial."
"What about it?"
"They feel that given what's happened it's best to postpone the commercial until next year. They wanted it out for Christmas and now they can't do that."
Sam was absolutely ready to shoot the commercial and he had been preparing since they got back from the honeymoon but no one shot commercials after getting shot twice. Even though he had refused to be strutting around naked while selling cologne obviously he wasn't supposed to be in any shape to spend a weekend filming. The yoga class was probably pissing him off even more because he had mentioned that about once a week since Summer. He was looking forward to it as a chance to relax some and maybe meet some new people. It was so hard on Sam to do normal stuff like that and when he finally got the courage to sign up he couldn't go and not raise eyebrows.
"This'll all blow over in a month."
"I know that, it just sucks."
"It doesn't have to."
"What do you mean?"
"Let's get you to a yoga class." Dean said as he stood up. "Come on, let's toss this bread out, you don't want to be late."
"Dean, I know I can't actually go. There'd be too many people wondering why I was there."
"Trust me, baby."
"What are you up to?"
Dean shrugged and then started to tear open the rest of the bread. The ducks were having a field day with it and they were all honking and snapping at each other. Quacktard, who so clearly needed help, got a few pieces and then turned to puke all over Queer Duck's back as punishment for pecking him. Dean really had no idea ducks could even puke but apparently they could.
"Dude, Quacktard is hardcore!"
"I told you! You think Jeremy can heal a duck?"
"He healed that Wobby cat."
"I'm gonna call him."
Sam did just that and though Jeremy didn't understand why they needed the duck healed he still agreed to do it. That made Sam happy and he even decided that Quacktard, who was going to be renamed something fancy by the kids, needed to live at the pond behind Michael's house. Dean liked to see Sam smiling and he knew it was just going to get better once he was at a proper yoga class.
"What are you trying so hard to block out?"
Sam chuckled to himself and then tried to really think about an answer to that. If Craig had five or six hours there wouldn't have been a problem. Sam could have listed everything he was rather desperately trying and failing to completely block out of his mind and body. He was a little embarrassed that Craig knew something was up because Sam thought he was a master of hiding what he felt especially from people he wasn't very close with. Dean would know when something was wrong because he always did and the same went for John, but someone Sam only saw once a week knowing was alarming to say the least.
While Sam tried to think of a single answer he was staring directly at his own balls. It was a nice view but it wasn't really conducive to thinking about important things because the only thing on his mind was why he hadn't tried on his special big boy yoga pants earlier. Sam had bought them a few weeks ago right after he scheduled his class. He bought a whole outfit complete with new tennis shoes he apparently didn't need. The shoes and the shirt looked fine, but Sam's cock and balls were crammed into the pants and being bent in half wasn't helping anything.
He was in plow position which Craig had recommended as a great was to relax and cool down. Sam didn't know what part of lying on his back with his legs over his head was supposed to be relaxing but Craig had been right about everything else. It was Dean's idea to ask him for an impromptu class because he knew first hand that Craig had been doing yoga since he was a teenager. Sam didn't know that but Dean knew everything so he wasn't that surprised. Craig said he wasn't a pro, but he agreed to stretch some with Sam and to come back again if he wanted to learn some more stuff. All Sam really wanted was to relax and he never imagined he'd be staring at his balls and considering unloading all his problems on poor sweet skinny Craig or unloading in his own mouth for Dean's enjoyment.
"Hey, can you suck your own cock?"
"Uh, the head mostly." Craig said. "Are you interested in yoga just to suck yourself off?"
"No, no..."
Sam was sure Craig was watching but he didn't care, he still sucked in his stomach muscles just a little but more and squeezed everything else tighter. Sam was actually close and the next time Dean threatened to leave him for Ollie he was going to have some new ammo. Obviously sucking himself off had nothing to do with it, but Sam was sure he'd be able to after a few more lessons and then he could put on a show for Dean who would then brag to everyone he knew about how amazing his husband really was.
"I used to all the time when I was younger." Craig again. "And I still do sometimes for Justin if he wants to watch."
"That's hot. Do you come in your mouth?"
"Why else would anyone suck themselves off?"
"Good point." Sam whispered. "Well, this is interesting."
"Answer the question, Sam."
Sam felt Craig's hand on the base of his back and his whole body tensed up again. Craig was barely touching him but something about where his hand was felt like nails being driven in. Sam didn't like the way it felt at all and it seemed like every ounce of stress in his body was rushing to that one point. Craig apparently realized it as well because he put his other hand there and then gently massaged the base of Sam's spine.
"It's really complicated."
"To you." Craig said. "Would it be complicated to everyone?"
"Probably not."
"Then let's talk."
Craig was a small guy but he was strong because he had no problem grabbing Sam by the ankles and unfurling him. Sam kind of felt like a really big flower and while things weren't uncomfortable when he was staring at his crotch he felt a lot better once he was on his back. Craig was sitting next to him but he was only there for a second before he moved to sit directly in the middle of Sam's stomach. It was a little closer than most guys got but it really couldn't have been less sexual. Craig was just there to hold Sam's palms and pull at his arms. It just felt incredible and every little bit of tension was beginning to relax.
"How much do you know?"
"Wow." Craig laughed. "Um, everything? I'd reckon everything. The kids, you two, Carol, the book...Jeremy."
"Way to keep a secret, Justin."
"People need to talk, Sam." Craig said as he squeezed Sam's palm. "Sometimes they have to talk to someone outside. I don't get it, it scares the hell out of me and I think you're all insane, but I can listen and you can trust me."
"You know, I really believe that."
"You should."
"Okay." Sam sighed. "I want to be myself. I want to be Sam Winchester and just Sam Winchester. I want to keep writing as Sam and be Sam Winchester for Armani. I'm worried about Michael pushing himself too hard with school, I'm worried about Dean not really being okay, and I'm pretty sure that Jeremy did something really awful when he was a demon and eventually it's going to come out and tear us apart."
"Wow." Craig whispered. "Anything else."
"A week ago I got shot twice and nearly died and my best friend, the only other person who can come close to loving me like Dean does hasn't called, written, or visited me."
"Auden?"
"Yes."
Sam knew in the grand scheme of things Auden not calling or visiting was completely unimportant but it was hurting him the most. Dean probably was okay because they had talked about everything and the only reason Sam was worrying was because he loved him so damn much. Michael was pushing himself but Alex was on top of that problem and making sure he didn't overdo it. Sam had already made a decision about what to do with the still warm corpse of John Michaels and while he was terrified of what else the demon might have made Jeremy do he was hopeful they could all get over it as a family.
Auden was really the only thing that didn't make one little bit of sense. He really did love Sam as a friend and he was most likely always going to be in love with him. It was so stupid to let his absence affect him so much but Sam couldn't help it. He was stuck in the house and he wanted Auden there to just bullshit with or to talk about art with. He wanted to see him with Wystan and let him play with the babies. Sam wanted him there and he just wouldn't call or show up randomly on the doorstep.
"You're crying." Craig whispered. "Oh, Sam, I didn't mean to upset you, I just think you need to talk to someone about this."
"I just don't get it. I'd be there for him."
"Do you think it's too hard on him?"
"I'm sure it is, but I'm fine, not even a scar. I just don't know why he wouldn't call or come see me."
"Keep breathing, and I'll tell you a story."
"I like stories about kings and vegetables."
"I'm sorry to disappoint." Craig laughed. "This happened a few years ago to me. My best friend in the whole world is a guy names Harry. We've been friends forever, through elementary school and middle school, we even came out together in high school. We fooled around a few times, decided it was best to lose our virginity to each other, but it was obvious we were never going to really be together because we just wanted different things."
"Please tell me he didn't die."
"No, I promise, it's not that kind of story. He met a guy and they fell in love and I was so happy for both of them, and one night his boyfriend was coming home from work and a...uh...a couple of guys ganged up on him and they really, really messed him up."
"This was recently like a few years ago, right?" Sam asked. "I remember reading about it."
"Yeah."
"Wow."
Sam very clearly remembered seeing the article in the paper because it was right after Amy got pregnant with Ethan and Evan. Sam had just finished American Normality a few months earlier and he was wondering at the time if his book, if his words of wisdom would make a difference. He was so optimistic at the time and he never knew the impact the book would have on the world. Sam couldn't remember the boy's name, but he remembered praying for him that night before bed with Dean and Mikey right next to him.
"Anyway uh...he was in the hospital for weeks in a coma and Harry of course had no say in what they'd do with him. I heard from our other friends about how awful it was. See I had to hear second hand because I couldn't go to the hospital. I couldn't...I couldn't see my best friend hurting while the person he loved was dying."
"But he didn't die." Sam said. "I remember it took him a while but he's fine now."
"Yeah, he is, and even once he was fine...I couldn't see Harry because I was so afraid of him needing me in a way I couldn't be there. I'm weak, I just couldn't handle it."
"You think Auden's not seeing me because of Dean?"
"Isn't he your oldest friend?" Craig asked. "Doesn't he know you two better than anyone?"
"Yeah." Sam smiled. "You're right."
Sam had really never thought about that but he could see where Auden might be too afraid to see how Dean was handling things. It didn't make him a bad friend at all and Sam certainly didn't think him or Craig were weak, maybe they just loved too much. It had certainly put things in perspective and it gave Sam an excuse to call Auden. He wasn't doing it before because it just seemed so awkward to call someone who should have been calling you.
"And for what it's worth I've never met John Michaels, and John Michaels didn't write any of your books. It's always been you, Sam."
"You're good at this."
"I try." Craig smiled. "Dean probably is okay, but worry about him because you love him, that's natural. Alex will take care of him and Michael if it gets to be too much for you to handle."
"What about Jeremy?"
"The way I understand it is that your brother can't be held accountable for anything he did before Dean saved him. You...you should all remember that."
Craig was still pulling on Sam's arms and pressing the pressure points in his palms but for one tiny fraction of a second he faltered. His pull wasn't as steady and the pressure went from pleasant to painful. There was a slight shift in his voice as well which most people wouldn't have picked up but Sam was feeling very close to Craig who wasn't exaggerating when he said he knew everything.
That was the nick in the chain Sam had been looking for. Aaron knew what happened because he knew Jeremy's life as well as he knew his own. James and Justin knew because they came back knowing everything. Justin had obviously confided in Craig who Dean could persuade if he had to. That was a good thing because Sam didn't like secrets but it scared the hell out of him that Justin couldn't handle whatever it was on his own.
Apparently Craig was not only talented he was intuitive as well because he sensed some little shift and perfectly realigned himself as soon as possible. He went back to pulling and stretching while applying the most perfect pressure to Sam's hands. He was even hitting some new places that made Sam feel like he wanted to take a great big nap. He was considering it and even closed his eyes but then he heard the clearing of a throat and a very loud declaration of something about short daddies.
"What did you say!"
"He said what the hell is that dance tramp doing on your tummy!" Dean yelled. "And I just don't know what to do with him anymore."
"What's wrong, baby?"
"Awbahwaynahbahdah!"
"Not about the pants!" Dean sighed. "The other problem."
"Whafah!"
"Hmm. I...I don't know."
"He keeps doing that thing!"
As soon as Dean put Milo on the ground he did his own little version of yoga which he had been doing for the past two days. Dean kept freaking out about it but Sam was pretty sure Milo wasn't going to hurt himself and he was just stubborn like his grandpa. After he made sure he had some solid ground Milo completely face planted and tried to push himself up using his forehead. It was an unconventional method to figure out how to get on his own two feet but Sam still thought it was cute since Milo had apparently forgotten that the last time he stood up he just sort of stood up.
Once his forehead was steady against the floor he walked his legs up some until his butt was in the air which Craig was quick to mention looked a lot like dolphin pose. Unfortunately for Milo that was always as far as he got because he'd lose his courage when all he had left to do was push himself up with his arms. One day he'd get there and until that happened Sam was going to cherish every second he got to carry his baby around and when Milo fell and started to fuss he scooped him right up and held him close.
"I love that you keep trying, baby."
"Sammy, are you okay?" Dean asked. "Were you crying?"
"A little."
"What's wrong?"
"Do you think Auden hasn't come to see me because he's worried about how you're handling this?"
"Would that make me really self centered?" Dean cringed. "I think he's worried about you, but he's probably keeping his distance because if I break down he doesn't think he could help...or that he doesn't deserve to help."
"You two could both call." Craig said. "It's obvious you want to talk to him."
"I do."
"Then let's call." Dean smiled. "Craig, there's a sandwich upstairs with your name on it."
"God, I love Wednesdays."
"Hey, thanks for talking to me."
"You're welcome, Sam."
As soon as Craig was on his way up the stairs Dean spun down to the ground and got extra close to Sam. Normally Milo didn't allow that but he was too busy dealing with his own problems. He was trying his best to hide inside the soft folds of Sam's gray shirt but it just wasn't working out. Sam wasn't going to let him hide either because he had nothing to be embarrassed about. Everyone walked when they were good and ready and maybe it just wasn't his time yet which they had talked about before.
"You are so beautiful."
"What?"
"You, Sammy." Dean smiled. "You're so handsome."
"Is this because of these pants."
"Maybe...oh also, just want to put this out there..."
"Here we go..."
"If you ever wear those outside this house I will kill you." Dean said. "For really real."
"I think I might need an extra large." Sam whispered. "Also, Craig can blow himself."
"Shut up..."
"I think I might able to after a few more lessons."
"Oooh." Dean shuddered. "Would you...you know in your mouth while I watched?"
"Mmhmm."
"Wow." Dean whispered. "Made of win...Phew! Let's change the subject from that! Today I met Elmer's mom."
"Oh! What's she like?"
"She's a total bull dyke."
"Dean!"
"What!"
"Don't say that." Sam said as he covered Milo's ears. "That's so offensive."
"Excuse me, was that you doing sex to me earlier or someone else calling me a cock sucking faggot?"
"That's different." Sam blushed. "Be nice."
There was a big difference between calling a spade a spade in the bedroom and Sam didn't want Dean dropping the d-bomb whenever the mood struck. Since he found out that Elmer was being raised by two women he kept saying one of them just had to be a raging bull dyke because that's what the "Lesbys" did. Sam really found that interesting because they didn't know a single lesbian couple, but Dean said that wasn't entirely true since Ellen was a total lipstick lesbian and Bobby was a big old bull dyke. Sam had both of them pegged as bulls but he didn't say anything.
"Sammy, I was so right about this."
"How bully?" Sam asked. "Like Sarah Palin or...Rosie..."
"No Sam, I mean for real. She looks like Bobby and she's apparently not the bio mom. Chris said Elmer's bio mom is smoking hot. I should report my findings in a book."
"Oh, what about that nice lesbian couple at Amy and Auden's wedding? They were both totally feminine."
"A bull in sheep's clothing."
"You're absolutely ridiculous."
"I do try. Let's call Auden, huh?"
"Thank you."
Sam didn't have room in his pants for his own cock so he certainly didn't have his phone with him. Dean placed the call and after three rings Auden answered. He sounded very nervous and like he was trying to be brave even over the phone. It was a little heartbreaking, but they kept talking to him and Dean kept making jokes while Sam asked about the baby and Amy. It took a while to finally wear him down but after about twenty minutes he broke and apologized for not being the strong friend he should have been. They both decided to not hold it against him as long as he came over for dinner so they could spend some time together.
He promised to be there in an hour with the baby which Milo got all excited about. He was less excited after they hung up and the door to the basement opened. Sam looked to see who was coming down the stairs but he didn't see anything at first and then he heard a honk and some webbed feet slapping against the stairs.
"You gotta be fucking kidding me....Jeremy!"
"Holy shit, it that Quacktard?"
"The duck formerly known as Quacktard!" Jeremy said from upstairs. "But the kid's agreed completely changing his name would be too confusing so we've come up with a suitable alternative."
"Why is it in my house!" Sam screamed. "Get it out of here!"
"Hey you cutie!" Dean smiled. "I see you're not all messed up lookin' anymore. What's his name?"
"We named him Jared." Jeremy said with a big grin on his face. "Quackalecki."
"Oh, that works, so he's still sort of retarded."
"Exactly. I think he got hit by a baseball or something, but he's fine now. See, I even got his feathers to grow back!"
"Get him out of here!"
The duck wandered around the basement for a few seconds and Sam sure as hell wasn't going to pick it up. When he told Jeremy to bring him home he meant to the pond and not in the actual house. Jared Quackalecki made himself right at home though. He wandered over to the sofa, jumped up on it, and got nice and comfortable. Sam tried to get Dean to get the duck out of the house but he chose to sit down on the sofa next to him so they could watch a couple of minutes of television.
When Mikey was born Dean had a whole new world before him and he made an informal list of things he wanted to do with his son. He wanted to do all that dad stuff that John was always going on about and he wanted to teach Mikey how to take a car apart and put it back together with one hand behind his back. He wanted fishing trips, baseball games, and maybe even incredibly boring school plays.
When the twins were born and Sam had actually fathered two children he had his own list which was so different from Dean's. He wanted Ethan and Evan to become the greatest successes they could. He wanted them to be lawyers or doctors, something that would give them the respect they deserved. He had plans and eventually they were all probably going to come to fruition.
As parents Dean wanted things for the kids with Sam. They never really divided them up because no matter what anyone said Sam was as much Mikey's father as Dean was. They wanted health and happiness for their children and all the success they had coming to them. Dean knew all those things were going to happen but every once in a while he thought back to that list he made when he was a new father and a single parent. It was only a month but Dean had plenty of time to think and there were things he wanted to do with Mikey. He was still working on some of them and every time he got to do something he could feel his heart swell.
Auden was the newest father they knew and he already had his own little list. He was a lot like Dean and he wanted Wystan to participate in the same things he enjoyed. At five weeks old he wasn't old enough to paint yet and though he wasn't old enough to garden either Auden still took him outside with Sam so they could do a little work. Auden just loved to garden and unfortunately it wasn't something he got to do often since the house in the city barely had a yard at all. Auden said that plants in pots just weren't the same and he was missing getting his hands in the earth.
While he did a little light work with Wystan and Sam, Dean was entertaining Amy by showing her his new car, the outside of the clubhouse, and the land across the street. He was glad she had come because he liked spending time with her and he didn't really think Auden was strong enough to come on his own. When he arrived he was a little down but they had all talked and things seemed okay at least for him. Amy on the other hand who was strong and had been there at the hospital seemed a little off to Dean.
Normally she was just as happy and talkative as could be and since she had Wystan she had been smiling a lot more. According to her and Auden their relationship was better than ever so Dean couldn't figure out what was bothering her. He figured that it was maybe the whole over protective father thing and that she was missing Wystan. Dean tried his best to steer her towards Auden, Sam, and the baby, but she didn't want to do that either and asked very nicely if they could just take a walk along the road.
Dean was really dreading that something big was about to happen and he hated that he was always right. Amy was trying to give Auden time alone with Sam and it was her job to keep Dean occupied so they could both talk to their counterparts in private. It was obviously something they had discussed at length and the phone call had just given them the perfect opportunity to no longer put off the inevitable. Dean didn't want to hear it and he hated that he didn't get to hear it with Sam. He wanted to be there for him and he really wanted someone else to lean on.
Maple drive, the side they lived on, ended in a dead end and Amy waited until they were there to say anything. The dead end was closest to John's house and Dean caught just a glimpse of Carol inside doing something in the kitchen. It wasn't time for dinner yet so she was probably just cleaning up and maybe thinking about joining John who was back at the house with the kids and James.
"What did you say?"
"Dean, don't make me say it again."
"Why...why won't you...why?"
"We talked about it when we decided to really make this work between us. We wanted to see what happened once Wys was born and we're going to do it."
"He must hate when you call him that."
"Well." Amy smiled. "I don't recall him having to go through ten hours of labor."
"You have to tell me again."
"Why?"
"Because then I'll be sure I'm not hearing things."
"We're moving to Monroe."
Dean sucked up his breath and turned away from Amy. He wasn't crying and he didn't think he was going to but he was hurting. He really would have loved to pretend he hadn't heard her say they were leaving twice but he had and she obviously wasn't joking since it pained her to say it. Monroe was so far away and Dean didn't want them to go there and take Wystan away. They were just getting to know him and the kids just thought he was the coolest thing ever mostly because he had so much black hair.
"Why?"
"Lots of reasons. Auden wants him to grow up where he did and he loves Monroe. He doesn't want to get into a cab so our son can play at the park. He'll have a whole huge house with as acres of land. It's safer there and Auden really feels like that's where his family is."
"What do you want?"
"I want to go to."
"What the hell are you going to do in that podunk town?" Dean asked as he turned back around. "Really?"
"I'm going to do what you did."
"What's that?"
"Be there for my husband and do what's best for him and my family. Make them happy and adapt. I think if I had met you a few years earlier than I did I might have asked what the hell Dean Winchester was going to do in Stepford."
"Why can't you two just buy a house here?"
"Because he has a home there."
"I don't want you to go."
Dean hated that he sounded like a little boy again but he couldn't help it. It wasn't just about Amy either. Despite all the shit they had been through Dean didn't want Auden to go. He wanted him to stay for himself and he really wanted him to stay for Sam. Maybe they didn't giggle and talk about boys like he did with Anthony but Auden was still his friend and Sam had enough issues with the whole friendship thing. It really fucking sucked that he had spent a week thinking Auden didn't care and now he was at the house telling Sam he was leaving.
"You'll be fine. You'll all be fine."
"Shit." Dean whispered. "Well, after the first of the year, right? You can still come to So. Car with us for Thanksgiving and you'll have to come to Vermont for Christmas."
"We're leaving on the third. We wanted to be here for Mary and Milo's birthday."
"The third? Like in two weeks?"
"Yeah."
"Why so soon?"
"Because we want to have the house set up for our own Thanksgiving and Christmas."
"How long have you two known you were going to do this?"
"We decided right after he was born."
"Why'd you wait so long?"
"Because I knew you'd have that look on your face."
Dean shook his head and then started to walk back towards the house so she wouldn't have to see the look on his face. He understood that they were doing what was best for Wystan and Dean couldn't argue with Auden wanting to be near where he thought his family was, but that didn't make it any easier. He also realized it wasn't the end of the world because they had planes and a Auden's work kept him tied to the city but it still changed things and Dean was tired of things changing.
He wanted James to stay at the house and for Anthony to go back to answering email. Dean wanted everyone to stay exactly where they were and he didn't care if it made him selfish because having his friends and family around made him happy. It made Sam and the kids happy too. Change was inevitable though and Dean figured he better just get used to it because the world didn't stop just because he wanted it to.
Dean was so hurt that he wanted to turn around and say something hurtful to Amy probably about how if Sam asked Auden he'd stay but that wasn't entirely true. Auden absolutely loved Sam, he always would, but he loved his son so much more. Hurting Amy wasn't going to do a damn bit of good and she didn't deserve to be hurt since she hadn't done anything. It was just time for them to move on and Dean wanted to make some kind of peace with that before he went back inside and saw the kids or dealt with Sam.
"Say something." Dean said after he stopped in the middle of the road. "Say something to make it better."
"Like that?"
"I don't care, just anything."
"Okay." Amy whispered. "For almost five years I've watched you raise our children and I've supported everything you've wanted to do with them. Now that's because I agree with it and you two are amazing parents, but if you were making a choice I didn't agree with I'd still support you and I'd like you to do the same."
"You have to tell the kids."
"We will."
"I need to check on Sammy."
"Okay."
Amy never referred to the kids as hers because biological children or not they weren't her kids. They were Dean's kids with Sam but she was their friend and she was around enough that she could have said something and she never did. She let them make their own choices for the kids and she was right because she always supported them when it came to the kids and Dean owed her the same thing back. He was a little tempted to maybe give her a hug or at least a little nod but he really couldn't bring himself to do it. He kept walking to the house instead and listening to her footfalls behind him.
Mikey wasn't back from the city yet but the rest of the kids were in the kitchen with John and they were all busy with little chores for dinner. It was too early for Carol to cook something, but she was only cooking for two. Sam usually had to get started much earlier and since he was busy everyone else was picking up the slack. They were really just snapping green beans but they were still helping out and just as proud as could be.
When Dean looked out the back window he saw that Auden and Sam were still out there and the conversation obviously wasn't going that well. Sam had tears in his eyes and he was nodding and Auden seemed to be talking a mile a minute and really using his free hand a lot to express himself. Dean wanted to go out there to lend his support but before he could make a decision to do that Sam was up off the ground and walking back to the house. Auden had tried to stop him but Sam was done talking and he was completely quiet when he came into the kitchen and started to wash his hands.
The kids and the babies got quiet as well and John gestured with his head towards the backdoor which Amy quickly exited through. Auden was out there alone and someone had to be out there with him. James was sitting at the kitchen table with the babies but he went to join her. Once they were gone things got so incredibly quiet and the only sound was of Ollie snapping the beans for dinner until Evan spoke up. Dean loved that it was him because no one else could deal with Sam quite so effortlessly.
"What's wrong, daddy?"
"Well...uncle Auden and Amy are moving to Louisiana. Do you remember when they got married?"
"No." Ollie whispered. "A wemember when I let you mawwy daddy."
"You were a little Beanie." Dean smiled. "You two remember the wedding?"
"Maybe." Ethan shrugged. "I don't know for sure, we go on so many adventures."
"They're moving?" John asked. "Really?"
"On the third. Auden said he wants to raise Wystan in Monroe."
"That's so soon."
"They didn't want to tell us." Sam sighed. "Because springing it on us at the last minute is a better idea."
"Why were you crying, daddy?" Evan asked. "Uncle Auden will still be your friend. I think it doesn't matter how far away you are. When Charlie didn't live here he was still friends with Mikey."
"I know, I just...I guess I like the idea of taking off and going to see them."
"Oh." Ethan whispered. "And now you'll have to spend time with Jared?"
"Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse."
"Well, daddy." Ollie said. "Lemme tell ya, is so hawd to be away from a best fwend Elmah! You don even know, but when a see him again? Is so nice."
"Elmer who you tried to stab with a spoon." Ethan said. "Two days ago."
"You listen here, Ethan! Mr. King The Beans won be bad because you won him to! Daddy likes a good boy!"
"Please, if I was going to stab someone I wouldn't use a spoon." Ethan said with a roll of his eyes. "Daddy, just tell Uncle Auden you don't want him to leave."
"I can't."
"Why?"
"Because this is what's the best for them." Sam nodded. "And we have to respect that."
"How do you really feel, Sammy?"
"This is good for them."
Sam smiled when he looked over at Dean but he had tears in his eyes. It was so much harder on him because what he had with Auden was special. Auden was really the only person they knew besides Ethan who had seen Sam at his absolute worst. Sam was still looking to repay him for them help he gave while he was in the apartment. If Auden wasn't around payback was going to be a little harder and maybe Sam wouldn't be able to do it. Auden had said dozens of times he was glad to help, but he had really saved Sam's life before Ethan did and he'd have to be repaid.
"We need to buck up." John said before clearing his throat. "If you two are doom and gloom he's going to change his mind. You know how he is."
"You're right, dad." Dean nodded. "This really isn't a big deal. He'll be back all the time for work and they can come see us in the Summer."
"And Amy will have to come back to get her hair done."
"There you go, Sammy. See, it's not that bad."
"She can't take us, daddy." Evan said quite bravely. "If that's what you're worried about then don't worry. We're not going anywhere."
"Wha!" Ollie yelled. "She twy and steal the Beans! Oh, and a just said wha a nice thing about her making babies."
"None of you are going anywhere." Sam laughed. "I'm not worried about that. You three are ours. Those penguins too."
"We can let her have a Mary and then half of Ethan...his awms!"
"You may not!" Dean gasped. "Guys, Amy and Auden moving has nothing to do with you, with any of you."
"But what if Jenny moved." Evan said. "Could she take Mikey?"
"No." John said. "You guys listen up, we're always going to be together and while other people may come and go we're always going to be here. This family is always going to be together. Amy and Auden and Winston..."
"Wystan, gwampa! You need a sexy glasses!"
"Wystan, sorry. They'll just be spread out a little more and Ollie's right. When we see them again it'll be better."
"Whatta ya know...The Beans is wight!"
Ollie was right and so was John. It was obviously going to suck but they'd still be friends and family. Aaron was still going to be their brother even if he had stayed in Italy and really geography was just about as stupid as biology when it came to family. Dean felt better once he reminded himself of that and apparently Sam was doing the same because his smile got a little brighter before he nodded towards the back door.
The newest member of the family was floating around in Sam's fountain which was way too small for him. They tried to put him at the pond with the rest of the ducks but apparently that wasn't good enough for him since he was so fancy now. That's what Evan had said about him, but then he also agreed that even before Jeremy intervened the duck was most likely less retarded than his current namesake. When they passed Dean tried to shoo him out of the fountain but he just sort of quacked and then spastically flapped his wings around.
"I shouldn't have watched television with that duck. You give them an inch they take a mile."
"Can I have a couple inches later?"
"I hate when you want to bottom because you're upset."
"I just want to be with you."
"Sammy, this'll be okay." Dean said. "Eventually it'll be okay."
"Sure." Sam smiled. "They're leaving before we got to be his Godparents and they'll be here for Mary and Milo's party but not for Ollie's which I'm sure he'll love."
"But?"
"But." Sam sighed. "I guess the world doesn't revolve around us. I'm just going to really fucking miss them."
"Me too, Sammy."
Dean squeezed Sam's hand and then put on the biggest and bravest face he had in his inventory. Auden was just a mess and he hadn't moved an inch from where he was sitting. Wystan was still in his arms and Dean could tell he was upset because his daddy was. They really looked sharp together and in two years Auden was definitely going to need some advice because Wystan was going to be a total Ollie.
"I'm sorry, Auden." Sam said. "I know this is something you guys really want to do and you've always supported us."
"Tried to." Auden shrugged. "You know we'll be back all the time. I still want to work and Amy needs her roots done regularly."
"I'm sure there's some Steel Magnolias place someone runs out of their double wide." Dean laughed. "We know it'll be okay."
"We should talk to the kids and then we can talk to Mikey separately." Amy said. "And then Michael."
"I told the kids. They're okay, and we'll talk to Mikey with you."
"Will Mikey and Michael be okay?" Auden asked. "They'll get it, right?"
"Yeah, yeah, I'm sure they will."
Dean kept smiling and nodding but he wasn't really sure what would happen. He didn't find out until Alex and Mikey made it home. Dinner was still cooking so they took Mikey into the living room and explained what was going on and he seemed okay with it. He was a little upset but he knew they were just moving away and not going away for ever. He kept his cool and even decided that he was going to send Auden and Amy letters and then they could send him some back so he could get real mail.
Michael cried like a newborn baby that just got slapped on the ass. He came very close to throwing a fit and making demands but Dean managed to calm him down and Alex promised to make it up to him once they got home. He eventually stopped crying once Amy promised him his own room at their house if him and Alex wanted to come down for a visit.
When Dean had called Auden with Sam he never expected they'd end the day like they did but he really felt like everything was okay. They all had enough money to travel freely and Sam really talked to Auden on the phone more than he saw him in person. It seemed like mostly smooth sailing until Ethan and Evan addressed Amy as mom during dinner and she bawled her eyes out.
That certainly made things more complicated and Dean was sort of upset with them since they had steadily denied Amy that little pleasure which meant the world to her. When he got them alone and asked why they had done it they just said because she was their mom and since they had peed in her they wanted to do something nice before she moved away which was completely understandable. |
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