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[Jun. 22nd, 2009|06:27 pm] |
Title: Enchiladas.
Author: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) bitchandjerk
Characters: Sam/Dean,John/Mary/OFC OMCs OFCs
Rating :R
Words10,500/2,772,600
Warnings: Wincest,
Summary: James warns Sam and Dean about a powerful new threat coming for them.
Notes::AU, rest are here.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.
Feedback: Makes me hard
Because Sam had asked so nicely and done an unspeakable act in the bedroom Dean agreed to take him into town on Monday morning. The unspeakable act was actually just butt sex and Sam hadn't asked nicely at all but Dean wanted to pretend like he had and he had errands to run anyway. He was really tempted to mess with Sam just a little bit but Dean decided against it when he saw how excited he was. They were just going to drop Ollie off at school and head to the big fabric store, but they might as well have been going on a fabulous date in the city.
Sam was up early on Monday morning and he got all spiffed up by taking a shower and actually fixing his hair. That really only happened about three or four times a year, but Sam had done it and he was looking pretty delicious. He even dressed up some in a very nice sweater instead of his usual button up shirt. Dean thought it was cute that he was so excited and while he could have been in and out of the fabric store in about ten minutes he decided he was going to take his time.
Before they could do that they had to drop Ollie off at school and the babies had to join him for a minute so his best friend Elmer could meet Mary. He had already met Milo but Ollie wanted him to meet his little sister so she wouldn't feel left out. Mary wasn't really that impressed with Elmer at all but Sam certainly was. He was very careful to not compliment him in front of Ollie but as soon as they were back in the car with the babies the squealing began.
Milo took offense to that and started to yell from the backseat until Sam turned around and reminded him that cuteness was directly influenced by hair color so when he said Elmer was the cutest thing in the world he meant he was the cutest blonde thing in the world. Realizing his mistake Sam quickly mentioned that there were different age brackets as well so Elmer, Mary, and Mikey weren't in the same category at all. Dean wasn't so sure about all of that, but he was positive that Sam was the cutest daddy in the world especially when addressing Mary and Milo. He could be in the worst mood ever and it would all go away when he talked to his babies.
Milo liked to ride behind Dean because that gave him the best view of Sam. Mary liked to ride behind the passenger's seat mostly because she got to see Dean. That meant that when they got out of the car Sam always got Mary because she was on his side and Dean got Milo which was permitted since it made things easier. When they got to the big fabric store Dean got Milo out right away but Sam had to be difficult and break the rules because he left Mary in the car to get the stroller out. He wasn't supposed to do anything and because he misbehaved Dean had to punish him. He not only kept Milo to himself, but once they were inside the store he decided to teach Sam a lesson about following the rules. Unfortunately there were no real wheelchairs around which just meant Dean could strike a blow for disabled people everywhere.
"Excuse me!" Dean said, completely ignoring his indoor voice. "Can you assist me?"
"Yes, sir."
"Wonderful. As you yourself may presently be aware my husband was injured nearly two weeks ago and I believe you're required by law to provide wheelchairs for the physically enfeebled or those who have become enfeebulated."
"Yes, sir, we..."
"Also, please note that my son is currently wearing socks which are printed to look like cowboy boots. They aren't real cowboy boots but you should treat them as such and be aware that if his hair wasn't such a beautiful shade of red he would be wearing a hat to complete the ensemble."
"Whabadday!"
"Sir, the wheelchairs are right there." The woman smiled. "Right next to you."
"Oh..." Dean frowned. "You don't have any nifty mechanical ones?"
"No, sir. It's my experience that people who require wheelchairs...enfeebled or otherwise aren't usually particular about how they get around."
"You'll have to excuse him." Sam said. "He's mentally enfeebled."
"Let me get you a chair, Mr. Michaels."
"Winchester." Sam said. "Sam Winchester and a wheelchair won't be necessary, thank you."
"You're welcome, sir."
"Ah-ha-ha." Dean said. "One moment. Could you point me in the direction of your selection of fabrics for the young man who wishes to become a Jedi?"
"What uh...what were you looking for?"
"Whatever the real Jedi's use and I need bumble bee fabric too."
"Right uh...right this way."
The woman, who was about as useful as tits on a bull, led them to a rather large section that mostly contained a lot of brightly colored felt. Dean could work with that but he wasn't sure that the Jedi's used acrylic felt. He really had no idea what he was doing but Mikey wanted to be a Jedi and Dean had promised him a robe. He had also promised Ollie a Bumble Beanie outfit which he was wearing twice, once at school for a big boy party and then again at the auction. The pressure really was on because Elmer was also going as a bumble bee and his mom was making his costume. As a crafty dad Dean had to one-up her so store bought simply wouldn't do.
"Come here, baby." Sam said as he took Milo. "I don't want you to catch retardation."
"Oh, please!"
"As soon as that girl gets home she's going to email Perez Hilton."
"Like I care." Dean laughed. "She was looking at me like I was an idiot."
"Your point?" Sam sighed. "Why don't we just go to Carol's store and have someone help us?"
"Because Carol owns a quilt shop. She has quilting fabrics. The Jedi's didn't wear quilting fabrics. We need like robe stuff and furry stuff for bees."
"What about the twins?"
"I...I'm not talking to or about them." Dean said. "They picked costumes they know I couldn't make. It's mostly Ethan, you know little brothers in this family have a history of being difficult."
"I thought crafty dad could do anything." Sam whispered. "Isn't that what you said last night when you were...doing a special project."
"I am skilled at giving a butt..."
Dean knew it was Ethan because as the older brother Evan was prone to being sweet as sugar. Because Dean was making Mikey's and Ollie's costume he thought the polite thing to do was to ask Ethan and Evan if they had anything in mind since he was awesome and could make anything. They very briefly discussed it and then Ethan announced they'd both like to be enchiladas. Dean sort of had an idea for tacos but enchiladas were just way too advanced for him.
While he scanned the fabrics he was really thinking hard about all the costumes. Mikey really just needed some nappy brown fabric and maybe a store bought shirt. Ollie's costume was just going to be a little sweat suit, but Dean needed something to make yellow stripes on it and he was quite adamant about a stringer. Dean really had his work cut out for him and standing around wasn't going to make the job any easier.
"What's wrong, baby?"
"I don't know how to make enchi..."
"Not you." Sam said. "Mary, what's wrong?"
"What is it?"
"She's really...irritable."
"What?" Dean asked. "It's probably ladylike gas. Let daddy see and...Whoa."
Since Milo had on a cowboy suit he was pretty happy and the sock boots were totally awesome. He was just kind of chilling and checking things out, which apparently he could do since Mary was more than picking up the scowling slack. Dean had really never seen her look so pissed off and normally she was pretty laid back. She got upset sometimes if she was a little farty but that usually passed quickly. Dean tried kissing on her which always helped, but something was pissing her off.
In an effort to make everything better Dean took her out of the stroller and held her close but that just made her more irritable. She was squirming a lot, so much so that Dean had trouble hanging on to her. It was a little scary because Dean didn't want to think about what might bother her and she just looked way too focused. She was leaning all over the place and finally after a minute or two of struggling her whole body went rigid and she leaned out of Dean's arms to glare at nothing in particular. The section they were in was mostly craft fabrics like fake furs and felt and she was staring directly at a shelf filled with brightly colored fur, which would have been perfect for a gay Wookie costume.
"Nothing's there, baby." Dean said. "It's okay."
"Anbah..." Mary whispered. "Bahbahdah."
"Wahbahdah!"
"Badah!"
"Oh shit." Sam whispered. "Why do I feel like..."
Sam didn't get to finish his question because Mary and Milo had taken things into their own hands or rather minds. They apparently didn't follow the no mojo in public rule because she knew something was wrong and he decided to move the obstacle in her way. The big shelf filled with fur went flying out of the way and had a big baddie been hiding behind it Dean figured Mary would have most likely torched it. There wasn't a big baddie there though, but someone had been lurking, spying, and generally being sneaky and unsavory which Mary obviously didn't approve of.
"James!" Sam yelled. "Are you following us!"
"What? No, I came to buy...wool...so Ann can make me trousers...yes! Trousers."
"Wahbahdahbah!"
"That's right, you nearly killed him!" Dean said. "Jesus, you need to not stalk us! Why are you following us?"
"I needed wool for trousers!"
"Yeah right, your girlfriend's too hot to do anything besides be a thirty year old law professor at a prestigious university."
James actually picked up some bright pink fake fur and seemed to be trying to figure out how he'd look in it but Dean wasn't buying his BS for a second. He was without a doubt the world's worst liar and he was so obviously stalking them. When a bunch of employees ran over to see what the problem was James got all flustered and invented a half assed story about a man in a ski cap and a seismic wave from deep beneath in the Earth. Then his brain apparently clicked back on because he said how dangerous the shelves were and demanded to speak to a manager.
He was promised a gift card for the trauma he went through which he then promised to Dean but that wasn't getting him out of trouble. Dean still wanted to know what the hell he was doing following them around and he was even more curious and annoyed when he spotted John peeking around another shelf. Surprisingly Mary and Milo didn't feel the need to deal with him which Dean appreciated since he doubted the employees would believe another story about a classic burglar who caused earthquakes.
"Smooth move Davy Crockett." John said. "I'm not surprised you got killed when you can't even trail a couple of 'mos."
"I'm sorry." James said. "Remind me, you've killed how many demons?"
"Like fifteen!"
"Yes well." James smiled. "That effectively ends that conversation. Now boys, I am looking for some fantastic material to have a pair of trousers made for our big boy party in two weeks. Yes! We will be big boys and a big girl!"
"Anbahfah!"
"Oh, very well, come by me." James said as he took Mary. "Come by grandpa."
"Hey!"
"First of all you're not here to buy material for pants." Dean said. "You were both following us."
"Nonsense. I'd just like to look my best for my big boy party and modern pants only accentuate my thunder which should be hidden for my big boy party."
"Dad." Sam sighed. "Why are you two following us?"
"It's really retarded." John frowned. "Like...like if Jared and that duck had a baby and then we dropped the baby on it's head outside of Wal-Mart."
John never got tired of reminding Dean that he had dropped him when he was a baby. Apparently he not only dropped him but he accidentally kicked him when he went to pick him up off the filthy ground. Dean was just about to mention how he was an award winning writer but then he noticed how frantic James looked. Whatever was going on wasn't retarded to him at all which meant it probably was a lot more retarded than anything else in the entire world.
"Go on." Dean said. "What is it?"
"Apparently there's a..."
"A sale on things over here!" James yelled. "Oh, Dean, will you make me something with this...glittery sparkle...stuff."
"There's a comet coming." John said. "And Pa Ingles thinks we should...I can't even say it."
"What?" Sam asked. "You think we should what?"
"Buy a bunch of cows." James whispered. "And sacrifice them to the comet to appease it."
"You want us to appease a comet." Dean said flatly. "Re...really?"
"I just saw a segment on the news about the comet." Sam laughed. "It's going to pass right over us, why are you worried about it?"
"You don't mess around with comets! No, sir!"
Dean didn't want to laugh because James was completely serious but he really couldn't help himself. Thinking that comets were harbingers of doom was just too funny. John even cracked a little smile but he was mostly concerned with trying to console James who was none too pleased. He was just flustered at first but then his entire face turned red and Mary had to pat his nose to calm him down.
"James, there's no record of something horrible happening because of a comet."
"Because I have always appeased them!"
"Did you kill a bunch of cows?" Dean asked. "Oh, James, wit a moo."
"No, but that's only because they were too valuable. Chickens sometimes and more often than not grains."
"So while you and Samuel were making the Colt..."
"I was making it and he was supervising!"
"Right." Sam said. "While that was going on you were sacrificing chickens and grains to appease the comet."
"Precisely."
"I guess we could have hamburgers that night." Sam shrugged. "Or fried chicken."
"We could barbeque!" John clapped. "Yeah, I can make that special barbeque sauce I saw on the food channel, it's got lemon juice in it."
"Really?" Dean asked. "Interesting."
"Apparently all real barbeque sauce has lemon juice in it." Sam added. "Okay, this is a good plan, we'll barbeque and..."
"The end is nigh!"
"James, don't you think someone would have said something if this comet was anything to worry about?" Dean asked. "I think Gabe might have mentioned it."
"Fine, don't believe me." James said. "I'll handle this on my own and spend my birthday appeasing this comet."
"Your...it's coming on the second?" Sam asked. "Really?"
"Oh, I'm not so crazy and sexy anymore am I!" James yelled. "Crazy old James and his doomsday predictions! Repent! Repent!"
"Will you keep your voice down!" John whispered. "Jesus. Listen, he's at least a little crazy and sexy and that's why we're following you. He didn't like the idea of you two going out unescorted with this killer comet out there."
"Right..."
"We're going to go pick up some drapery fabric Carol ordered." John said. "I picked it out for the living room, to butch it up some."
"Have fun." Sam whispered. "James, we'll look into this...killer comet from outer space."
"They come from hell." James whispered back. "Straight from hell."
"Alrighty, dad, he's a little worked up, you might have to beat him off like they do with those spider monkeys."
"'Kay."
James was just about as irritable as Mary had been and Dean really thought it was pretty funny but so obviously nothing to be worried about. James was still very cautious around the television since like comets it came from hell, and he didn't really approve of taking something like Tylenol for a headache. Dean wasn't worried about the comet at all but something told him Sam might be especially if it was going to be passing on the second. After he put Mary back in the stroller next to Milo, Dean took a deep breath and prepared himself for talking Sam down.
"Sammy..."
"Look, I think this looks like Jedi robes." Sam said after handing Dean a bolt of fabric. "You could make it like a poncho and split it up the front."
"This is actually prefect...um...comet?"
"What about it?"
"Are you worried?"
"Are you?" Sam laughed. "I really trust James, but a killer comet? Come on. Did you honestly expect him to not find a crisis the very minute he moved out again?"
"You're probably right. Is it weird that it's coming on the 2nd?"
"Comets just don't show up. He must mean it's the most visible on the 2nd."
"I'd still feel better if we talked to..."
"He's right behind you."
Dean spun around and actually banged into Gabe who had his own bolt of bright yellow fabric. It was sort of furry, but the pile wasn't that deep and Dean thought it was just perfect for a Bumble Beanie costume. If he bought a little sweat suit in black he could just glue on some yellow stripes and maybe make a stinger that just stuck in the back of the pants. He was even thinking about making it out of fabric and stuffing it so it would stand on it's own and Ollie could still sit down.
"Perhaps something metallic for the stinger."
"Yeah!"
"Hi, Gabe."
"Sam." Gabe smiled. "You're looking well."
"Oh, you too. You look very well rested. How are you?"
"Very well."
"Excellent!" Sam smiled. "Well, you look great!"
"Thank you."
"Sammy." Dean whispered. "Scale it back some."
Sam had previously mentioned he was going to try his best to be a little more friendly, but he was really pouring it on way too thick. Gabe wasn't stupid and he couldn't obviously tell Sam wasn't entirely sincere but he still seemed to like the attention. Dean was still on the fence about the whole angel thing but Gabe was really growing on him, mostly because he showed up when they needed him. Of course sometimes he didn't show up when he should have like when Sam was in the hospital. Dean still didn't understand why he hadn't visited but he knew there was a reason.
"This is great bee fabric. Ollie wants to be a bee."
"I'm sure it'll be a wonderful costume."
"You should come to the auction!" Sam said. "That'll be nice. The babies are going to be pumpkins."
"May I?"
"You want to see them?" Dean asked. "Or hold them..."
"I'd just like to see them."
"That's fine." Sam said as he moved the stroller. "This is our friend Gabe."
"Hello."
Dean was watching everything very closely because loose nuts and bolts could explain a falling shelf but very few people bought spontaneous combustion. When Gabe bent down to the same level as the babies Milo looked a little cautious but he very quickly relaxed. It always took him a while to warm up to strangers and even when he liked someone he mostly stayed lukewarm, but Gabe was an obvious exception. Milo smiled first and then Mary giggled and waved before extending her tiny little hand.
"It's very nice to meet you, young lady."
"Andabahwah."
"And Milo."
"Wabadah!"
"You'll both make wonderful pumpkins." Gabe said before he stood back up. "My son was...he was a pum..."
"You have a son?" Dean asked. "We didn't know that."
"Your comet." Gabe smiled. "A natural cosmic occurrence with no positive or negative impact. If there was something you needed to know someone would inform you of it beforehand."
"So it's just a comet?"
"Yes, Sam." Gabe said. "Just a comet and a superstitious family member. Let him burn some barley, he'll feel better."
"Thank you."
"You're most welcome."
"Why'd you change the subject like that?" Dean asked. "You have a son? You should bring him to the auction, there's lots of kids there."
"Dean." Sam whispered. "The babies seem to like you."
"They're beautiful."
"Thanks."
"I should be going now. If you need anything don't hesitate."
"I won't." Sam nodded. "Thanks for the help."
Gabe bent down to properly tell the babies goodbye and then he nodded at Dean before he just walked away. He didn't disappear which was normally so unsettling, he actually exited the area like a normal person. That made him more real to Dean but like with all of their conversations he had more questions than he started off with.
"Can they have kids?"
"I don't think so." Sam sighed. "But that man isn't Gabe. He's someone else, a real person. He's just possessing him."
"Is he keeping him away from his kid? That's awful."
"I don't think so." Sam whispered. "I think maybe his son..."
"Oh...Oh, Sammy."
"He's never seemed so human, has he?"
"No, he hasn't."
For the rest of their shopping trip Sam stuck close to the babies and Dean made sure John stuck close with them. James didn't buy the word of an angel one little bit and he was going to sacrifice something whether they liked it or not. Dean could have argued with him but instead he just told him to go for it as long as no animals were harmed to appease a completely benign comet.
Sam always loved fixing lunch and eating it with the kids but every couple of days, usually three times a month, he really looked forward to lunch being over. Mikey and the twins would go back to school and Ollie would take a little post school nap usually at the same time the babies were having their afternoon nap. That meant there was a place for everyone and everyone was in their place so Sam could just spend time relaxing. He didn't have to be alone and he didn't have to have time alone with Dean but knowing the kids were taken care of for a while put him completely at ease. He enjoyed the quiet and the freedom that only adult ears could afford him. That wasn't to say that Sam started cursing like a sailor as soon as the coast was clear but he could have if he wanted to.
Most of the time it was just him and Dean, but James had stuck around after lunch in an attempt to sway them to his line of thinking which was that comets were the greatest threat to mankind in the history of the world. Dean was really egging James on which Sam most certainly didn't approve of but it was a little funny.
Sam was only partially listening because he had confirmation that the comet wasn't anything to be concerned about. James didn't believe that though and he was dead set on being prepared. While he went over things with Dean, Sam got a little lost in thought because he had been noticing something for the past few days that was bothering him. If something happened once or twice he didn't pay much attention to it since he believed in coincidence, but when it happened repeatedly that usually meant something was up.
The thing on Sam's mind was Jeremy's and Aaron's absence from the dining room table over the past few days. It seemed like the last time they actually ate at the house was for Michael birthday and Sam had served six meals since then. Weekends were always very busy for Aaron, but he always made time to eat with the kids and Jeremy never had anything to do on the weekends. They both usually came over before work and Jeremy had been stopping in for lunch since he was trying to not work so much. Sam could understand if they wanted to spend time together or go out to eat but he couldn't shake the feeling that he was being avoided. The strangest thing was that Sam felt it was completely personal and that Jeremy or Aaron weren't avoiding Dean.
"Listen, you're still all worked up." Dean said. "Did dad even beat you off?"
"Well, no, he didn't come to think of it."
"That man can't do anything right!"
"He did pick out a lovely fabric for his new curtains." James said. "I hope we all don't get killed so he can enjoy them."
"I think this is just a post life crisis. You're worried about turning two hundred and eleven."
"Or thirty-five." Sam muttered. "That's five years past dead."
"Hey! Sammy! I'm going to be that old in two years."
"Baby, the gays don't age the same way as the breeders. You'll turn thirty-five when you're like forty-eight. It's all about moisturizing."
"Oh, yeah! Anyway, we better beat you off."
"Yes, perhaps we should so when the comet comes I can at least die knowing I've done it all."
"You are absolutely ridiculous." Sam said as he stood up. "Donkeydickulous."
"Where are you going, honey kitten?"
"I'm going to see if Aaron is home for lunch."
"He didn't eat with us."
"He hasn't for a few days." Sam said. "It's like he's avoiding me."
"Now who's ridiculous?" James asked. "I'm sure he's busy with work, I want to talk with you, stay here."
"Talk to me about what?"
"I just like spending time with you two." James said. "Because I love you."
"Aww, that's sweet." Dean smiled. "I almost feel bad for sexualizing you."
"No, you don't."
"Yeah, you're right."
"Lemme just check if he's here. I hate when he's here and just hanging out in the bedroom while the kids have school."
Sam was sure James loved them but it really seemed like more than anything he was trying to occupy them. Aaron's car wasn't outside so it didn't really matter but Sam still thought James was weirder than usual and that was even without the looming comet doom. Still, Sam did like his downtime and he was looking forward to just hanging out and talking, but that really wasn't Dean's thing. If he was sitting around he had to have something to do, so the three of them headed up to the attic after Sam grabbed the monitors just in case Ollie or the babies stirred early.
Dean was just incredible because it barely took him any time to get started on Ollie's costume. Carol, who really used the attic more than anyone had invested in a little kid sized dress form and that made Dean's job much easier. Sam had been a little worried about him making costumes since he very clearly remember the Christmas pageant fiasco but the form solved all his problems. Not only was it a good size for all the kids, but it didn't move, scream, or squirm and most importantly Dean could stick pins in it and not feel bad.
"I think the practice of dressing up for Halloween is just very strange."
"You didn't have Halloween?" Dean asked. "You did harvest shit I bet."
"We didn't have costumes and candy. We celebrated it as the eve of All Hallows' Day."
"Which is All Saints' Day now." Sam said. "They changed it."
"Of course they did. I don't think it's safe to have children roaming the streets on Halloween especially with that comet out there."
"You're awfully opinionated lately." Dean laughed. "What are you and professor McNasty going to the auction as?"
"She's a naughty devil I believe with red plastic clothing and I...well, I'm going to be a builder."
"Wha...a builder?"
"Yes, I have a pair of overalls and a tool belt. I have some new working boots and a rag to tuck into my back pocket. Oh, also a hat."
"Can I ask why?" Sam asked. "That's sort of...random."
"Well." James sighed. "That's the only other thing I know how to do. Ann suggested I go as Mary Poppins, but I don't know who that is. She said it's a fun night to be what you want to be."
"And you want to be a builder?" Dean asked. "Like someone who makes houses?"
"I think that sounds nice."
While Sam thought there was something very cute about James being a builder for Halloween it was a little sad too because there was a lot of stuff he knew how to do and was good at. Sam thought he might make an excellent cowboy and he could even borrow John's slutty costume from last year. Mary Poppins was probably the best but Sam knew James wasn't going to go for that and she really was a little scary.
"You'll really like the auction." Sam said. "It's fun and the kids always have a great time."
"It does sound very…good…good heavens, Dean!
"What?"
"You're remarkable!"
In the very short time it took to discuss Halloween and costume choices Dean had made some major headway on Ollie's Beanie Bee outfit. Sam had noticed of course but seeing Dean work so quickly wasn't really anything new for him. James was quite obviously impressed and he should have been because the progress was already pretty damn amazing. Dean had tugged the sweatshirt onto the form and had already cut three bands of yellow to wrap around it. They were just pinned on but it was still great progress for someone who was just sort of winging it.
His plan, as he explained it to them, was to have the three stripes either glued or stitched on to the sweatshirt and then the stuffed tailed sewed onto the back of the pants. He was positive that he was going to sew that on because he felt like a line of stitching was more durable than a line of glue even if Carol said the glue was plenty strong. For antenna he has an idea with some pipe cleaners and a headband and his masterpiece of the outfit was going to be the wings. Dean was pretty sure he could construct them out of clear tablecloth vinyl and then add veining with a thick black thread so Ollie would be the coolest bee in the whole wide world.
"And everyone will know I'm better than some lesbian named Roscoe."
"See I thought making our son a happy Beanie would be enough." Sam said. "Is this all about competitiveness?"
"No." Dean scoffed. "It's so not…not all of it."
"You have issues with these lesbys." James said. "Real issues."
"I do not!"
"Yes, you do."
"Well, maybe…maybe she's so butch she makes me feel like a little girl!"
"Seriously?" Sam asked. "Are you serious?"
"And she's just so gosh darned sure of herself. Sammy, you should have seen the way she wore that smart looking flannel shirt with those big old boots. Her cock was probably even bigger than mine."
"Dean, you must realize that many men and women would prefer your girth over Sam's length. Your cock is lovely and I don't want you to let some silly dyke make you feel bad."
"James!"
"What?"
"Don't call her a dyke! Dean, stop fucking with him, he's going to think you're serious."
"You're not serious?"
"Hell no." Dean laughed. "I don't care about a bunch of fucking dykes."
"Dean!"
Sam didn't know what the deal was with the lesbians but Dean had obviously been burned by them before because he was so opinionated and rude about it. He even had James saying the D-word and he was so gullible he probably thought that was a proper term to use. The last thing Sam needed was them all being at the auction and having James call Elmer's mom a dyke right to her face.
"Fine, I won't call her a dyke anymore."
"You wouldn't want her talking to her friends about Ollie's fag dad."
"I'm not a fag." Dean said. "I'm a gay man. I just don't really get it."
"What's to get?" Sam asked. "They're two women in a relationship, no different from us or Bruce and Anthony."
"I just don't think it's fair to Elmer."
"Why?"
"Because…well…a son needs a father."
Dean was so much more complicated than he seemed. Sam had spent the past eight years seeing him, talking to him, and kissing him everyday and Dean was still surprising him. Sam really was under the impression that Dean had some sort of problems with lesbians, but they were just a convenient outlet for him to deal with stuff he didn't know how to deal with. It wasn't about two women raising a child together or even two women raising a boy, it was about Elmer maybe one day needing a dad who wasn't in the picture.
That had to sting Dean enough because there had been times when he really needed John who simply wasn't there, but he was a big boy and had gotten over that long ago. The fresher wound was Amy and Auden and Dean wondering if a day would come when the kids might need a mother especially Mary. She'd have Jenny of course, but Dean's daughter, all of Dean's children deserved the absolute best. If other kids had two parents then they deserved three because they were so much more than regular little kids and Mary clearly deserved four.
"You worry about Mary." James said. "Dean, I know how you feel about Amy, but when Mary and Milo are older they'll view Jenny as their mother."
"Why do you say that?"
"Because they can know Jenny in a way they can't know Amy. You've seen them react to Becca and Wystan. They're more interested in them than they were in Charlie when they first met him."
"So Amy's just the oven?"
"That's what we hired her for." Sam shrugged. "She's our friend, she's the twin's and Ollie's mother, but Mary has Jenny, she's got mom too."
"And Ann." James smiled. "She'll want for nothing."
"It just made me think because Ollie was so upset that Elmer didn't have a dad in the picture and then Amy's leaving and it's so hard on Jenny to be around the babies."
Impossible was probably the word Sam would have chosen. Jenny could really only manage about ten minutes at the most and she rarely actually held the babies. Sam was so sure it would have gotten better for her once she had Becca but it really hadn't. Not only were her children being raised by someone else but she hadn't even been allowed to carry them. Sam was never going to regret his choice to have Amy carry Mary and Milo, but he hadn't really considered just how much it would affect Jenny. She could have said no of course and she hadn't, but there was no point in pretending that she wasn't well aware of why she hadn't carried them.
"I think she'll get better once they're a little older. Dean, you need to not let everything bother you so much. Elmer's very well taken care of and Mary has everything a baby could want."
"I know, I just worry." Dean smiled. "Roscoe probably is really nice and I shouldn't call her a dyke."
"That's very mature of you."
"Clam bumper?"
"No."
"Carpet muncher? Muff diver? Fish monger? Cat slapper?"
"Come on!" Sam laughed. "No one calls a lesbian a cat slapper."
"Fudge packer." James said. "Do you like it when I call you a fudge packer or when I call you a cock sucker? I'm implying that you pack fudge and suck cock, faggot."
"I totally just came six times." Dean whispered. "And yes, sir, granddaddy, I do like it. May I have another?"
"Poofter?"
"There's a new one." Sam laughed. "I've never been…"
"The other night in bed I called Ann a filthy little bitch and she really seemed to enjoy it."
"Excuse me!" Dean yelled. "What was that?"
"I didn't mean to and she certainly wasn't filthy, but as I was behind her driving my tumescence in deeper and deeper I thought she was a little filthy bitch who needed to be…well quite frankly she needed to be fucked."
"Dude…"
"I know." Sam whispered. "I think the same thing whenever I'm having sex with Dean."
"Wait a minute, you were behind her?" Dean asked. "Puppy style?"
"Yes, it makes gently slapping her bottom much easier on me. I came three times."
James really picked the wrong time to share or rather Dean picked the wrong time to cut some more fabric. He went completely spastic for a second and managed to shove the scissors right through the bright yellow fabric. His strip was cut all crooked and wrong but he had purchased more than he needed so it wasn't the end of the world. Once he regained control of himself he very carefully put the scissors down and then knocked them across the floor which Sam thought was probably for the best.
"How many times did she come?"
"Oh, I'm not sure." James whispered. "I like to take my time, and normally she's good for two or three to my one. That actually reminds me, can I ask you boys a personal question?"
"Please Jesus." Dean sighed. "Anything you want."
"Well, this is what happened. Last night we went to bed and I thought she was looking quite ravishing so I initiated sex and she was quite receptive, but once we were done she seemed annoyed and said that we weren't going to be able to do that anymore."
"Did you do something she didn't like?" Sam asked. "You're not really rough, are you?"
"No, not at all, occasionally I'll slap her bottom, but I'm gentle with my manhood as it's quite large."
"Mmhmm." Dean nodded. "Did she say why she didn't want to do it anymore?"
"No, but she was busy trying to get ready to leave for school. I assume we'll talk about it once she comes home, and I'd like to be prepared."
"Um…" Sam said before he laughed. "Just one question here…when you say you went to bed last night, what time was it?"
"Oh, shortly after ten because we wanted to watch the weather."
"And she leaves for work?"
"She leaves the house at eight. I stopped having sex with her a half hour earlier so she had adequate time to get ready."
"You had sex with Ann for nine hours." Dean said. "And you wonder why she says you can't do that again?"
"It wasn't nine hours straight. I recharged with frozen yogurt and then woke her back up with the gentle caress of my tongue."
"James." Sam frowned. "Ann's got to work, you can't have sex with her for nine hours. Does it take you that long to climax?"
"Oh no, with so many children in such a small house I became a master at proficient and timely love making. John just told me to go down on her for five hours and then…fuck her like the bad girl she is. You must admit she is a bad girl!"
"Dean." Sam said as he nudged him. "Help a settler out."
"James, listen, why don't you try to go down on her for as long as you feel like doing it, or until she's…receptive."
"Oh yes, until she's a sloppy bad girl!"
"Um…I don't…I…anyway. Then you make love to her and once she comes you come, kiss her goodnight and go to sleep."
"Then again?"
"No, just once."
"Oh." James whispered. "That'll save all sorts of time. Now I really hope the comet doesn't kill us all!"
Sam was sure informing James was going to be sort of a mixed blessing. Ann would probably love actually getting some sleep before work, but then not very many people could say they had a boyfriend that could fuck them all night long. Sam was one of them and it was good to know that Dean could just the job done quickly when he needed to, but he could drive it home for hours too. A quick fuck was looking really good to Sam and apparently Dean as well since he winked once and then sent James off to check on Ollie and the babies. It wasn't nine hours, but Sam always went for quality over quantity which Dean could sure as hell deliver.
After another delicious dinner meal prepared by daddy Sammy, Dean thought it was time they nailed down final costume plans for the auction since it was just about a week away. Mikey was still going to be a Jedi and he was even considering looking into getting some kind of license which he could carry in the wallet Dean had given him for his birthday. All it currently had in it was a twenty dollar bill and Mikey so loved all the little compartments for things. He thought a Jedi license would fit perfectly in there and Dean absolutely agreed.
Ollie hadn't changed his mind either and he still was going as a Beanie Bee. His costume was nearly done except for the wings, but Dean was keeping it a secret until it was perfect. He did have a little trouble with the stinger but as always he made it work and Sam agreed that it was the best looking bee costume he had ever seen. Dean had even worked out a way to pad it some because the only thing cuter than a Beanie Bee was a fat one and no one was going to be cuter than Ollie.
Michael was keeping his lips sealed about his costume, but Dean was almost positive it was going to be 110% naughty. Every time they talked about it he'd get all giggly and Alex would sigh rather loudly and he had told Dean three separate times that he had absolutely nothing to do with whatever Michael and Ryan were planning for Halloween. Alex had however been very vocal about his expensive batman costume that he bought on eBay, which went great with Justin's Robin costume. Dean had some opinions about that but he kept them to himself.
Since the babies couldn't talk they were going as pumpkins. Even if they were great conversationalists Dean would have forced them to go as pumpkins because all Winchesters were year one pumpkins. Mikey had been the smallest at only a month old and Mary would be the biggest since she was bigger than Milo. That was how they rolled in the family and luckily Mary and Milo seemed mostly agreeable since he scowled and she hugged her baby doll a little tighter.
That took care of everyone except for Ethan and Evan. While Dean went over everyone else's costumes they were sitting on the sofa kicking their legs back and forth like they were just the cutest things in the world. They were pretty cute but that was only because they had Sam's hair and his nose. If Dean shaved their heads and got them plastic surgery they'd be nothing more than a couple of punk butts who were a thorn in his side.
"You two have been nothing but trouble since you showed up!"
"Your face is." Ethan shot back. "You better march that hot ass upstairs and make us our costumes before I hit you with a frying pan!"
"I'm not making you costumes because you're both punks! You're both bad boys!"
"Daddy?" Evan smiled. "When it's time for dessert can I have extra strawberries? I'd rather have a lot of strawberries and less ice cream on my pound cake. I like strawberries better because they're so sweet and naturally fat free."
"You can have my strawberries." Michael whispered. "And ya'll ain't bad."
"Excuse me!"
"What?"
"Do not undermine me in front of them." Dean said. "Ever again."
"I think there's some whipped cream in there too."
"Hey!"
"Daddy, to be fair to Ethan and Evan, they didn't do anything bad." Mikey said. "You asked what they wanted to be and they told you."
"Don't you start!"
"Don't yell at Mikey you butt!" Ethan yelled. "Get a grip, daddy!"
"That's it! Come here! Over my knee!"
"Why?"
"Because I'm going to spank you!" Dean said. "That'll teach you to sass daddy!"
"Awesome!" Ethan said as he jumped off the sofa. "Evan, pay attention."
"I will!"
Ethan dropped his pants and then jumped over Dean's knees with the other part of his body that looked just like Sam sticking straight up in the air. Evan looked like he was about to pull out a pad to take some notes and Dean was considering at least one playful swat, but Michael had to be a fussy Freddy because he pulled Ethan off Dean's lap and pulled up his pants. Evan then looked like he was going to cry until he sort of winked and nodded at Dean like he was saying that could discuss how to properly spank someone later.
"Ya gotta be so diffcault! A know it was you Ethan! Wanna make daddy spend so much time on a chawada costume so he don have no time for makin' out wit me and daddy Sammy!"
"Step back." Ethan said. "I'd never seek to encourage him making out with daddy. Evan and I own him, he's our property and we'll make out with him when we're sixteen."
"Yeah!"
"You don even know!"
"You don't know!" Ethan said as he nudged Ollie. "Enchilada."
"Wha!"
"Hey, don't shove him like that!"
Dean didn't like when Ethan had to be the big man and he hated when he picked on Ollie. Obviously the whole costume thing had everyone a little hot and bothered so Dean suggested they all take a break and have some dessert. Sam had made pound cake earlier and they were eating it with ice cream and strawberries. Dean made sure that Evan got his extra strawberries because he had asked so nicely and there was some whipped cream in the refrigerator. Dean had actually bought it to squirt on Sam's button, but they kept forgetting to bring it to the bedroom and Mr. Tasty Hole was already pretty sweet.
"Did we get the costumes, settled?"
"No!" Ethan sighed. "It's not fair that Mikey gets to be a Sith and…"
"A Jedi!"
"Whatever, and Ollie's going to have the best bee costume in the world. We want to be enchiladas."
"Daddy, do you not want to make us costumes?" Evan asked. "Because we're better dancers than you?"
"No, baby, if I knew how I promise you I would. Tell you what, we'll find someone to make them for you."
"We want you to, daddy." Evan frowned. "You're the best."
"And what's so hard about it, daddy?" Ethan asked. "It's so easy."
"Okay Ethan." Sam nodded. "How would you go about making an enchilada costume?"
"Well, we already have our black pants and we will wear our red shoes because we are spicy. We just need you to make us fancy glittery jackets and some fancy hats."
"And roses for our teeth!"
"Baby?"
"Yes, daddy?" Evan smiled. "Best dessert ever!"
"Thank you." Sam laughed. "Um…what's an enchilada?"
"It's a type of music you dance to. I bet Craig could help. He says it's important to experience other types of dance which is why we decided to be enchilada dancers in the first place."
Sam nodded and then looked across the table at Dean who was more confused than usual. The last time he checked enchiladas didn't wear glitter jackets or hats and they most certainly didn't have teeth. He would have thought for sure Ethan and Evan were screwing with him but they were completely serious. Unfortunately Dean had no idea what they were actually talking about but somehow something had gotten lost in translation and he'd probably need Craig's assistance and maybe a demonstration about how he could blow himself.
"Do ya'll mean Flamenco?" Michael asked. "Like tango?"
"Yes, enchilada." Ethan said. "That's what we said."
"Flamenco."
"Enchilada."
"Flamenco." Dean said again. "Those are two different words."
"Enchilada."
"Fla…nevermind. So you two just need some jackets and like…sombreros?"
"I want a cape too, daddy!" Evan said. "With so many sparkles. I want two hundred sparkles!"
"Two hundred!"
Sam chuckled and then went right back to eating his dessert. Dean didn't know what he was laughing about because if Ethan and Evan wanted costumes with two hundred sparkles Sam was going to help out. Dean actually had about fifteen ideas at once and most of them involved a glue gun and fancy trims from the fabric store. He figured he could buy the sombreros and then just split a sweatshirt to make a jacket. Sam was always giggling about Dean using sweatshirts for everything but that was most likely jealously. Whatever the reason Dean officially knew what the twins wanted to be which meant everyone's costumes were squared away.
After dessert was over Dean sent the kids to the basement with Alex and Michael so they could watch a movie. Dean had to help Sam clean up the kitchen and then they were going to join them. It was a nice little routine they had and Dean always looked forward to the last dish being put away because it meant he'd be curled up on the sofa in just a few minutes. Unfortunately before that last dish was even washed clean something else came up as it always seemed to. Who interrupted them varied on a day by day basis, but more often than not it was John who barged into the house just when Dean was about to take a break from cleaning to smooch on Sam some.
"Dad, what's wrong?" Dean asked. "What happened?"
"Is there something you want to tell me?"
"You're late for dinner." Sam said. "And dessert?"
John was completely out of breath and he looked pretty upset as well. Dean got him a beer and then sat him down at the counter so he could take a few deep breaths and calm down. Despite having missed dinner Sam made him a little plate of leftovers and cut a slice of cake. It was quiet for so long and Dean was staring to feel a little awkward. Something had obviously happened, but they told John most things, maybe more than they really needed to. They always tried to be honest with him because secrets always bit them in the ass.
"I went with James into town." John said. "To buy some grains to appease the comet."
"Seriously?" Sam asked. "Did you really do that?"
"Yeah, we spent like a hundred bucks at that feed store. It makes him feel better."
"Then it's money well spent. What happened?"
"We were driving back and I saw Jeremy and Aaron." John said before he sighed. "And it seemed like they were looking at a house for rent."
"Huh?" Dean said. "What?"
"It's near that feed store where we get food for the goat. It's a little brick house and they were talking with a woman outside and there's a for rent sign."
"That doesn't make any sense."
Dean went to the feed store at least twice a month for Oinkers and Petunia. It was probably about fifteen minutes away all the way on the other side of town. That wasn't that long of a drive, but Jeremy and Aaron were about five minutes from the church and the center. It made no sense for them to move further away from where they worked and to move into a house where they'd have to pay rent and bills. In the barn all they were expected to do was no wreck up the place, Sam even did their laundry for them. They had a pretty sweet fucking deal and they'd be stupid to give it up.
"They're moving?" Sam asked. "They didn't say anything to us."
"They were talking to a woman outside of a house for rent." John said. "It sure seems like they're moving to me. Did you two say or…do anything to them?"
"Of course not. We like having them in the barn."
"I'm not so sure."
"What do you mean?" John asked. "Did you or didn't you?"
"I think we or…one of us did something to upset them." Sam said. "And I don't know what it is, but I feel like I should…apologize."
"Do you feel that way, Dean?"
"No, I don't…Sammy, Aaron's busy on the weekends. I think you're reading too far into this."
"So you don't feel strange at all?"
"Not really." Dean shrugged. "But I've been kind of preoccupied with the costumes and my head's been hurting a little bit since…I don't know. I've had this little headache and I haven't been thinking about them."
"You still have a headache?"
"I do now that you've got me worried we did something horrible to them." Dean said. "You don't think they're moving because I make fun of Aaron for making out with God, do you?"
"No."
"I don't want them to leave." John said. "I like you four all in the same area. I don't have to worry so much."
"You still worry about us, dad?"
"I'm a dad." John shrugged. "That's my job."
"Go help Michael with the kids, we'll talk to Aaron and Jeremy." Sam said. "Clear the air if we did anything wrong."
"Okay, good. Oh, and James is building some kind of pyre across the street."
"Great."
"And I'm taking my dinner with me. If Carol calls don't tell her I'm eating here."
Dean nodded because he had to look out for John since he knew first hand what it was like to have a wife that denied him his God given right to eat two dinners. John really was upset about just the idea of Aaron and Jeremy moving and Dean didn't want them to actually leave. He was sure they were maybe just looking at a few places to see what they could afford, but he couldn't figure out why. The barn was obviously not going to become a permanent home for them, but Dean thought them moving out was a year or two away so they could save money to buy a house.
Their situation in the barn was pretty much perfect but if they had a problem Dean was more than willing to work something out. Again he really had no idea what the problem could be but there was a chance they didn't like sharing the barn with the kids for school. They were usually gone during the day but sometimes Aaron came home and he always felt like he was in the way. If the kids being there was a problem they could just move back to the basement and the problem would be solved. Dean was going to be a little pissed if they wanted the kids out of the way, but he could deal with that if it meant keeping John happy. Dean didn't want them to leave either and neither did Sam but John was going to have the hardest time with it since he still didn't like that Jeremy had moved out of his house.
Jeremy and Aaron were bound to come home eventually so Sam thought it best to wait for them, thus making sure they couldn't be avoided. Dean really thought he was being a little paranoid, but he was a supportive baby daddy, so he went with him outside and waited on the side of the house. From where they were standing they could just make out James building what appeared to be a gigantic bonfire. John's car was parked in the middle of the field and James was lugging fifty pound sacks of grains onto a pile of wood he had gathered. He was probably going to attract a ton of wild animals, but Dean still thought that was better than hearing about the killer comet.
Dean was going to go over there to at least offer some assistance but Jeremy and Aaron pulled up one right after the other. Jeremy was in his big shot SUV and Aaron was in his modest church friendly Camry. It was black, but every time Dean saw it he just wanted to drive it somewhere and leave the keys in the ignition so they'd get to buy Aaron a real car. Dean had tried so hard to get him in a SUV, but Aaron wanted the Camry since it was so understated. Dean got where he was coming from and if things had worked out differently he could maybe see Sam driving one but it still bothered him.
"Michael is sort of into the hybrid SUV Toyota makes."
"Sammy, watch your language."
"I'm just saying." Sam sighed. "How are we going to handle this?"
"You leave that to me."
Before Aaron and Jeremy got out of their cars they exchanged a quick glance which Dean totally caught. They might have been supercharged and all powerful, but he was a big brother and little got by him. When he saw the little glance between them Dean started to wonder if maybe Sam wasn't just paranoid and they had perhaps done something wrong.
"Hey, guys." Aaron said after he was out of the car. "I know we missed dinner but we stopped off and got burgers after work."
"What's going on?" Jeremy asked. "What's James doing?"
"Building some kind of pyre to appease the comet."
"What comet?"
"Exactly." Dean sighed. "So, dad mentioned he saw you two looking at a house."
"I told you I felt him." Aaron whispered. "It wasn't gas."
"It's really nice, two bedrooms with a yard so we can get a dog." Jeremy said before he paused. "I had to murder the last dogs I had, but I think I'll be okay with a nice puppy and not one that claims souls."
"And there's a window seat in the breakfast area. There's a stain on the cushion but we were thinking of having it recovered."
"What's the rent like?" Sam asked. "And the neighborhood?"
"It's twelve hundred. Good neighborhood."
"If you want a dog you can get one." Dean laughed. "And we'll put in a window seat."
"It's not about that." Jeremy smiled. "This was never permanent and we just want to do it on our own. We're just looking right now, but we're going to move out eventually."
"Don't go."
"What did you say?"
"Don't go."
Sam was whispering and he looked completely heartbroken. Dean understood that he was upset but in the grand scheme of things it really wasn't that big of a deal. After James and then Amy and Auden there was a good chance it was hitting Sam a little harder though. His voice had been so quiet and he had the saddest weak little smile on his face which was just heartbreaking.
"Why don't you want us to go, Sam?"
"I like cooking breakfast and knowing you two are going to come in at the last minute and then rush off to work. I like packing you a lunch and knowing Aaron's going to come home to eat with us. I like setting your place for dinner and even doing your laundry…I like sneaking out to the barn when you two are here and slipping twenty dollars into your wallet just in case."
"Is that where it's coming from?" Jeremy asked. "You're putting money into our wallets?"
"Once a week usually." Sam nodded. "I wish…I wish I had been around when you were kids because I could have kept you safe like Dean did for me and I'm not ready to stop being a big brother. I'm not ready to stop taking care of you two. I like doing…big brother stuff."
"Well this is impossible." Aaron said after sucking up his breath. "I'm…I'm… not leaving."
Aaron was so composed all the time and when he broke it started with a tiny fissure. Dean saw it in his eyes and the way he blinked a little harder than was necessary. That fissure spread until he just cracked and choked back a strangled drowning sound. It was then that Dean noticed their very odd positions and stances. Sam and Jeremy were facing each other and Aaron was in between them on one side with Dean on the other. They were forming a little square and everyone seemed mostly reserved and calm despite the crying except for Jeremy. He was completely solid and unmovable like he was ready to fight.
"If we did something wrong…" Sam said before he raised his hand. "I'm sor…"
Sam was making a motion to put his hand against his chest to express just how sorry he was for something he hadn't even done. For a second it looked like he was raising his hand to wave or put it on Jeremy's shoulder. To Jeremy it must have looked like something else entirely because he raised his own hand in a decidedly non-friendly stance. He was trying to do something and more importantly he was trying to do something to Sam.
Jeremy was obviously expecting something but there was nothing. There wasn't a single sound, burst of air, or sign of heat. Sam got his own hand on his chest and just frowned which was really all he intended to do. Jeremy however was expecting something else and when he realized nothing was going to happen he should have stopped, but he tried and failed again. There was nothing at all which scared him more than it should have since being powerless against Sam was something no one had to be worried about.
"What the fuck was that?" Dean asked. "He tells you he wants to take care of you and you…"
"I'm…"
"You thought I was going to hurt you." Sam said as he took a step back. "You…After everything we went through…after everything we would have gone through to save you…you think I'd ever hurt you?"
"Sam, it's not what you think." Aaron said. "I think we should talk."
"Yeah, that sounds like a really fucking good idea." Dean said. "Let's go to the barn."
"Come on, Jeremy." Aaron said as he offered his hand. "We need all talk."
"No, not you."
"Pardon?"
"You stay here." Jeremy said. "With the kids. I don't want you there."
"No, I…no."
"Aaron, I need you to stay here."
Dean didn't like the look on Aaron's face at all, because he looked so scared and he had definitely just glanced at Sam when Jeremy told him to stay behind. Aaron may have been stronger and a few minutes older, but little brothers always got their way and when they walked to the barn Jeremy led the way with Sam and Dean trailing behind so they could all have a nice friendly chat. |
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