|
[Jun. 24th, 2009|06:00 pm] |
drama...I have 2 short stories to get in before 2.8 and an important secondary pov story, so..next week maybe?
Title: Cowboys and Criminals.
Author: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) bitchandjerk
Characters: Sam/Dean,John/Mary/OFC OMCs OFCs
Rating :R
Words10,500/2,783,100
Warnings: Wincest,
Summary: After talking to Jeremy, Sam and Dean are faced with a difficult decision to make.
Notes::AU, rest are here.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.
Feedback: Makes me hard
John was a simple man. He didn't have much, need much, or even really want much. Considering that he could have very easily had the world at his feet Sam was always impressed that nothing had changed his father except of course for Mikey. Becoming a grandfather had changed him from the angry stoic general into someone real and approachable. He became loveable and Sam found himself hugging John more often or holding on longer when they shook hands. Eventually he even told him he loved him which then became a regular thing. Mikey had helped John love again and be loved in return but nothing else had changed him even the tiniest bit.
When Sam made his first million, just weeks after 302 was published he had asked John what he dreamt of having all his life because he was in a position to make dreams come true. After a week's worth of consideration John approached Sam and very kindly asked for a new set of tires for his truck. Sam wanted wild dreams like a night with ten women or some weapon older than grit. John just asked for what he needed and Sam didn't realize at the time that he thought he didn't deserve the things he wanted which was something that was going to plague their family for the next seven years.
Once Sam had made millions upon millions of dollars he kept asking if John needed anything and he never really did. He had his own credit card which he mostly used to put gas in his car but it was pretty obvious that he was never going to embrace the lifestyle Sam had become so fond of. Sam liked the nine hundred dollar boots and he loved expensive clothes and toiletries. John was happy after a trip to Target where he could get shoes, clothes, and shampoo and still have change from his fifty. Eventually Sam gave up on thinking the money was ever going to change John in anyway.
After Ethan and Evan were born and Sam's career had really taken off he decided he needed an assistant to help out with emails and phone calls. They had really only hired Anthony to deal with all the piddling shit Sam was too rich and glamorous to do. Anthony ended up being more than that because he was their friend, an uncle, and of course the first man who realized just how delicious John really was. Dean argued that he was the first but Sam had to side with Anthony who had made John seem so much sexier in the way he talked about him.
Anthony then began to recruit it seemed because before Sam knew it everyone wanted to do awful and wonderful things to John. With all that attention it seemed like John was going to become a completely different person but he didn't really. He flirted back sometimes but it never really went to his head. He liked to pretend it did, but Sam knew he was just playing around and trying to shock Dean who was so obviously responsible for that whole shocked wide eyed wonderment thing Milo was always pulling.
John being so constant and maybe sexy became the main topic up for discussion when he started couples therapy with Carol. Sam hadn't known what they were talking about until John confided in him and Dean on Tuesday morning, and it was all very interesting. Apparently John's inability to change was the main reason he was unhappy in his relationship and amazingly the only thing he really wanted were new curtains in the living room and a place to call his own.
When the therapist asked what he wanted that was all he said but of course he had a habit of sticking his foot in his mouth since he had to add that the house was his which was absolutely true. Sam had paid for the house but in was in John's name and John's alone. He bought it for John and Carol, but John maintained that it was a Christmas gift for him and he was a man who didn't like frilly fancy floral curtains with little hangy doo-dads on them that served no purpose. He wanted something more understated and darker and to his surprise and delight Carol said she was more than happy to make some new curtains and they could pick out the fabric together.
John got a little of what he wanted and he agreed to pick up his underwear off the floor so Carol got something too. The next week John went back into the therapist's office still high on his conquest and demanded something else, something Carol absolutely refused to give him. Dean was sure it was buttsex, and Sam was almost positive it was inviting another woman, or man into the bedroom, but John was a simple man and all he wanted was the garage. He wanted her car out and he wanted it to be his own little slice of paradise.
Carol didn't want her car outside in the elements, but she was a smart woman, certainly smarter than John realized. They agreed that she would give up the garage if she got new cabinets for the sewing room which John was fine with, and he was also fine when she said that she'd never again step foot in his garage. John was so proud of himself and he had began to make plans for a fresh coat of paint and some carpet. He even ordered furniture and a television which was why they were there on Tuesday morning. He was so excited about his new den, but when the delivery men were bringing in the sofa one of them banged into the washer which lived in John's new space where Carol was never going tread again.
"Aw, damn it!"
"Wait a minute." Dean laughed. "Did she say she wasn't doing laundry anymore?"
"No, but she made such a big fuss about never ever coming out here again and I was so proud of myself for being the big man. I was the top!"
"No, you were just riding." Dean said. "See you were on top, but you were still bottoming. Ain't that right, Sammy?"
"Hmm?"
"Did you hear me?"
"Sorry." Sam said as he shook his head. "What did uh…"
"Sammy, you look awful." John sighed. "Did you get enough sleep last night?"
Sam smiled and then lowered his eyes so he wouldn't have to look at that oh-so-concerned expression on John's face and Dean's as well. They were in the garage doing manly things and Sam was sitting on the clean kitchen floor with Mary and Milo just watching. They were in his lap and had their eyes glued to everything that was happening on the other side of the white plastic gate. Sam was staring too but he was mostly blank and only heard the sofa bang into the washer which made him pay attention to what was going on in front of him and remember why they were there in the first place.
Everything felt so blank and in a way Sam was grateful because he didn't know how he was supposed to feel. Blank was good because yesterday evening and all last night Sam had been through everything from rage to heartache, shame and most of all fear. He was scared of Jeremy and for his family, but Sam was scared of himself because he had no doubt in his mind that what apparently happened in Michael's bedroom had happened just as described.
Jeremy was apparently trying to be a little optimistic because he said nothing about Sam attempting to kill him. In fact he was quite certain that Sam was merely going to move him out of the way and therefore away from Michael who was looking so vulnerable when he first woke up in the morning. It was a lovely thought, but when Jeremy confessed what he had done all Sam wanted to do was to hurt him. He wanted to do awful things to him because someone had to pay for what Michael had been put through.
When Jeremy took them to the barn he sat them both down and spoke very calmly and clearly just to make sure they both understood. He had highly influenced Michael's family, or rather the demon had. He was always aware of it, and Michael had known for quite some time because Jeremy had to be honest with his friend. Justin and James knew because they knew everything that had happened before they came back and Alex and Craig knew. All those people knew and Sam couldn't understand why Jeremy hadn't told them. He was most upset that they had found out from crossed wires the first time. Sam couldn't remember it, but apparently he hadn't actually been told. He just knew.
It made him think about Amy who was so cruel when she found out about them, but that cruelty was because her friends had kept something from her. Jeremy hadn't even met Michael's family, Sam understood that completely, but he had kept something from them which didn't feel right. It all felt so wrong and Sam spent all night staring at the ceiling and watching Dean breath while he just kept on thinking and trying to figure out what he was feeling.
"I didn't sleep well."
"Sammy, listen." Dean said. "If I came home one day and you just happened to find out I slept with Bruce you'd be pretty pissed, right?"
"Is that supposed to help?"
"I'm trying to say you'd be more pissed if you found out, but if I sat you down and told you, you wouldn't be as pissed."
"You know it wasn't Jeremy." John said. "Sammy, I know you're upset, we're all upset but this is something we have to deal with sometimes. He hasn't always been in control."
"I know that."
"And you know he'd never do anything to hurt Michael. He'd die for him."
"Would you please stop pretending like you're okay, Dean?" Sam said. "Please."
"I'm…I am…I worked really hard to be okay with this and I'm not going to go back to being unable to function because the demon was involved."
"What about Jason?"
"Fuck Jason!"
When Dean yelled both the babies jumped and then Milo started to cry. He was so much like Evan and he didn't like loud noises at all. When Dean leaned over the gate to apologize Milo just screamed louder, but Mary threw her arms into the air to be picked up. Dean looked like someone had just bitch slapped him with a brick because he hated being the cause of any of the kids crying and he would have gladly made them cry to not think about Jason Higgins.
Yesterday Sam had learned more about demons than he ever wanted to. Clay and Michael's other brother were born bad. There was just something in them that would have made them horrible people even if the demon never went down to Robertsdale. Jason was different because he was what Jeremy called stubborn. He had to work on making him bad and even once he did Jason was still a saint compared to Clay. He never touched Michael if they were alone and when he participated it was only because he was scared of what would happen to him if he didn't. That was what bothered Dean because no big brother ever put himself above the needs of someone younger and weaker. Sam wasn't so sure about that because self preservation was an amazing thing and Jason did what he had to in order to survive.
The bigger problem which was actually a huge problem was that Michael had known for months that the demon was responsible and Jeremy had been honest with him about Jason's involvement. Michael's memory was so sketchy that he wasn't entirely sure of everything that happened, but he remembered kindness from Jason and maybe even something like love. For months since he had found out what Jeremy did, Michael had been thinking that Jason didn't deserve to be in jail and now that everyone knew he was most likely going to ask for help to get him out.
For someone who had been so scared of Sam hurting or killing him Jeremy had no problem saying that if Michael asked it was going to happen. He didn't care what he had to do, he was going to get Jason out of jail if it was what Michael wanted. That just made Dean blow a gasket which was probably a good thing because he was more focused on Jason than he was on Jeremy.
"Shh, baby, it's okay." Sam whispered. "Not you."
"I'm sorry, buddy."
"He's okay."
"Sammy, I'm sorry." Dean sighed. "I dealt with this once, I don't want to deal with it again. Regardless of why it happened it happened, right?"
"Yeah."
"So me getting all upset isn't going to do any good. I'm just going to be upset and you'll be upset."
"I'll be upset." John said. "Michael forgives him and doesn't blame him. I don't think we should either."
"Dad's right…for once and for the record I really don't think you would have just killed him, Sammy."
"Are you sure?"
"Positive. Maybe you would have hurt him, but you wouldn't have killed him."
Sam really wanted to believe that and odds were that Dean was right. Obviously Sam was pretty fucking pissed off, but it couldn't have been enough to kill because part of him would have known that it wasn't Jeremy who had hurt Michael. The other things Sam kept reminding himself of was that he had no idea how to kill a bitch with his brain. It was probably a useful trick to learn just in case but he wasn't even sure how he'd go about it. It seemed like the only way to do it was to make crush a windpipe or a skull, it was some kind of crushing and Sam wouldn't have killed someone he didn't like that way let alone Jeremy.
"Whabadoobie."
"I know, baby." Sam smiled "You're a cowboy."
"Milo?"
"Bwah?"
"I'm sorry I yelled. I wasn't yelling at you or…yes, your cowboy socks are wonderful."
Milo was hugging Sam and pretty much ignoring Dean but he did have the good sense to stick his foot out to show off his special socks. They were red with little white boots on them complete with stars. Milo didn't have a favorite color, but terrible things happened whenever anyone, Sam included, tried to put regular socks on his feet. Earlier that morning Dean made the mistake of plain blue socks and Milo ripped them off and threw them against the wall. He did it three more times before Dean realized that he needed his boots on which Sam assumed was mostly because they were made for walking and Milo wanted to be prepared.
Since the babies were nearly a year old Sam had bought them both special shoes for walking, but Milo was just completely uninterested in anything on his feet except for socks. Mary however loved her shoes and spent quite a bit of time looking down at them or holding her feet up to inspect them. As Sam's daughter she had about twenty different pairs of shoes which everyone agreed was ridiculous except for Dean. He sided with Sam because they simply couldn't put shoes on Mary that didn't go with whatever dress she was wearing. She was currently dressed in an adorable sleeveless polka dot dress with matching bloomers and she had the brown and pink shoes to match. Milo had on a brown polo shirt with khaki shorts to match her a little bit, but his socks were red and he was most certainly a cowboy.
"Dad, you did a good job on picking out that sofa."
"Yeah?" John asked. "Bring him in here, we can sit down and talk."
"Come on, Sammy." Dean said as he held out his hand. "We need to talk I guess."
"Yeah." Sam nodded. "Dad, what else are you going to do out here? Are you just going to watch TV?"
"No, I'm going to jerk off so no one yells at me for doing it in the living room. I'm going to get a refrigerator and fill it with beer and bologna, and I have a table to set up so I can do…stuff."
"Stuff?"
"I'm going to make stuff."
"What kind of stuff?" Dean asked. "Knuckle babies?"
"No, stuff like…well, you know when….okay, I haven't gotten that far ahead, but I've got a place for my porn and a place to do stuff."
"Once you figure out what it is."
"Exactly. Hey, you guys are going to watch porn with me, right?"
"Yes, dad." Dean said as he sat down. "Call us when your wrist gets tired."
"Awesome."
The garage wasn't really that big and it was a little stuffy, but the fresh coat of paint and carpet remnant had done wonders. Sam was more concerned with whether or not it was going to make a big difference in John and Carol's relationship. It seemed so silly to think that one little room could change things so much, but maybe John just needed some space of his own. Sam didn't understand that at all because he always wanted to be with Dean, but apparently not everyone had a near perfect husband.
"Oh, this couch is great for jerking off."
"How often do you two do that?"
"We don't." Sam laughed. "Unless there's a cup in front of us a heterosexual porn on the counter."
"I like it." John shrugged. "I like just worrying about me."
"Sammy yells at me when I don't…you know."
"Yeah, I can understand that. He doesn't like sputtering, does he?"
"No, sir." Dean frowned. "So when we watch porn together I won't be jerking off."
"Baby." Sam whispered. "Don't you dare pick up any of those words."
"Ahbahwah!"
"When you're thirteen!" Dean said. "And Mary…never."
"Whabah!"
"Carol says girls don't do it as often as boys."
"You think?" Sam laughed. "Amy said she does sometimes."
"Well." John said. "She's always pregnant and her husband won't touch her. I'd masturbate all the time too."
"Good point…"
"Anyway." Dean sighed. "I figure we could discuss this to death and we could all get upset but, let's just take a vote and then we'll go from there."
"What are we voting on?" John asked. "Just so we're sure."
"Whether or not it's a good idea for Michael to help…his…"
"It's okay." Sam smiled. "It's really complicated."
"To help Jason."
"Yes." John said. "I think it's a good idea."
"Me too." Sam whispered.
"And I don't."
Voting really was sort of a waste of time and it wasn't going to stop them from discussing it to death anyway. Their opinions didn't really matter either because Michael was an adult and he was going to have to do what he thought was best and what his heart told him to. Dean was obviously never going to change his mind and he had every right to feel the way he did, but Sam couldn't help but think his opinion might be different if he was a little brother.
"Dean, you know…" Sam said before he sighed. "When I was a kid and we didn't have anything and we weren't in one place long enough to make friends…I thanked God everyday for giving me a big brother. I still do. I'm not trying to get you to agree with us because I know you won't, but I do want you to look at this from Michael's point of view."
"You don't hurt your little brother to keep yourself safe."
"No." John said. "You wouldn't hurt Sammy to keep yourself safe. You don't know what this boy went through. If it was Clay or that other one there was no way I'd want Michael to have anything to do with them, but this is different."
"Ty." Dean sighed. "Jason and Ty."
"What are you going to tell him when he asks, Dean?"
"The truth, Sammy. I think it's a bad idea and being the best of the worst doesn't mean shit." Dean said. "But he's an adult and it's his choice to make."
"I think that's fair."
"And if Jason is in his life in anyway our kids won't be."
"What?"
"If Jason comes up here to visit or God forbid, stay…no more sleepovers, no more Mikey going over there to practice his piano."
"I think he can understand that." Sam nodded. "I feel a little better now."
"Do you?"
"Yeah, I do."
"Good." John said as he patted Sam's knee. "We'll take a breather and then hang that television up. How's that sound?"
"Pretty good, dad." Sam smiled. "That sounds pretty good."
Since the first time Dean held Mikey in his arms he was completely in love with being a father. At the time he really had no idea how the hell to do it but he was holding his son and that made him a father. Over the years Dean had been blessed so many more times and he wasn't just in love with the title he got simple because he had fathered a life, he was in love with the moments that being a father afforded him. Any man could have a child, which would make them a father but Dean didn't think it was fair to call everyone one if they didn't have their own moments.
Shortly before everyone sat down to eat lunch Dean had two of those perfect moments both compliments of Evan who was the most consistently sweet out of all of his many siblings. He had just come in from the barn with everyone else and after giving and getting kisses he picked up Spotty's silver bowl from the ground and carefully carried it to the sink. The rest of the kids knew to clear the way because if they were all over the place telling stories and jumping about Evan got way too nervous and he'd spill the water he was trying to dump out. He so rarely spilled but when he did he'd get so upset because more than anyone else he knew just how hard Sam worked to keep the floor so shiny and spotless.
Luck was on his side because he made it to the sink without incident and as always Sam had already moved Evan's special stool over. It was red with Evan's name on it which Sam had meticulously hand painted. There were other stools for the rest of the kids as well but Evan was Sam's special big boy helper so he got a special stool which just meant the world to him.
At the sink Evan dumped out the water from earlier in the day and then meticulously washed out the bowl with soap and the hottest water Sam would allow which was still only a few degrees over lukewarm. By the time Evan was done that bowl was the cleanest thing in the house but he still washed it with soap and a little sponge one more time so it was perfect. He then dried it off, moved the faucet to icy cold and filled the bowl back up for Spotty who most certainly was the fanciest dog in the entire world.
Once he had fresh water Evan repeated the cleaning process with Spotty's food bowl which was always empty. He scooped out a quarter cup of the dog food first and then accepted a little Tupperware container from Sam which was filled with raw carrots and green beans. Sam cut them up each and every day and Evan put them in the bowl three times a day for Spotty who always ate the vegetables first and then his dry dog food.
Dean's moment came while he watched Evan preparing the food with such care and attention to detail. He couldn't help but wonder what Evan might be like in twenty years when Spotty would be in heaven but he might have a baby to take care of. Out of everyone Dean thought Evan might be the most naturally inclined to be a father mostly because he was so much like him. He could see Evan all tall and strong caring for a little dark haired baby with a nose like his. In fact imagining that was really easy because it wasn't that long ago that Sam was holding Ethan and Evan as babies and they were both going to grow up looking exactly like their handsome daddy. People who didn't actually father and raise the children they fathered wouldn't experience moments like that and Dean felt nothing but pity for them.
"Evan." Dean whispered. "May I ask you a question?"
"You may, daddy."
"If Ollie was in trouble, what would you…"
"Ollie!" Evan yelled. "Stop right there!"
"Wha! Wit a fweeze!
Dean was about to ask what Evan, as a big brother, would do if Ollie, his little brother, was in trouble. Before he could even finish asking Evan answered the question. He completely ignored Dean and the food that needed to be mixed up to hop off his special help stool and rush to Ollie's side. That was when Dean got his second moment because Evan got down on his knees and pointed out that one of Ollie's shoes were untied.
Most of the time his shoes had Velcro closures simply because Dean was worried about him tripping on the laces, but that was for babies and he wanted big boy shoes like Evan and Mikey wore. He didn't seem to care much what Ethan did or felt that mentioning him was wit a wedundance since he had mentioned Evan and they always dressed the same. Dean bought him a few pairs of lace up shoes and just as he suspected the laces were almost always untied. Ollie had such a fascination with the knots and he'd repeatedly poke them as soon as he knew no one was watching. After school he was always so excited and running all over the place so if Evan hadn't noticed he would have most definitely tripped on the very hard spotless and shiny kitchen floor.
"Oh no!"
"You have to be careful." Evan frowned. "If you fall you'll hurt yourself and then as a lawyer I'll have to sue daddy!"
"Was just so much fun to see Oinkahs again after a big boy school!"
"I know, but I don't want you to get hurt and if you tripped you would be hurt and I wouldn't be able to concentrate at school."
"Sowwy, Evan."
"It's okay." Evan smiled. "Now pay attention."
"'Kay."
"One day daddy was very sad." Evan said as he formed loops. "Because he had big goofy ears and he was always tripping over them. A fairy came to help him out and put one over the other and then pulled tight and that makes…"
"A happy daddy!"
"That's right, Ollie!"
Evan's reward for a job well done was a big hug and a bigger kiss from Ollie who promised to never poke his knots again. Dean watched the whole thing and then touched his ears which he felt were just goofy enough. He hadn't actually heard Evan's little story before but if his ears kept Ollie from tripping he could make fun of them as much as he liked. He really wasn't making fun of him anyway and it wasn't like it mattered because when Sam passed to put the sandwiches on the table he kissed both of Dean's ears. He loved them even if they were goofy and Sam had a little soft spot for eye crinklies as well.
"Come eat, Goofy."
"Did you know they were teaching him that?"
"Who do you think taught them?" Sam grinned. "We're going to teach the babies with a story about saggy old man balls."
Dean giggled like a schoolgirl and then looked over at John who was already passing out the sandwiches and making sure everyone had the same amount of soup. Sam's lunches were always so damn satisfying because he didn't just slap some meat between bread and call it a day, the bread was toasted and there was tomatoes and lettuce with everyone's favorite cheese and delicious moist turkey and sometimes bacon. The soup was always something different and even if he opened up a can it was still better than most people could do.
Just when Dean was feeling sorry for people who didn't get to eat lunch with them, someone who was always welcomed and had been avoiding lunch pulled up outside. They were in a very weird place with Jeremy but there was no way he'd deny Sam his chance to do big brother stuff. Everyone was sort of chattering away about how their days were going so far and then he came into the kitchen and everyone sort of trailed off. Obviously the kids had no idea what was going on, but they knew something was up.
"Hey guys."
"Hi, Jeremy." Sam smiled. "Grab a plate, I didn't know if you were coming."
"Is there extra?"
"Always, get a bowl too."
"What's the soup today?"
"A tatos!" Ollie said. "Oh, daddy! Is a best yet!"
"You say that every time we eat, Beanie."
"Well is always a best!"
"Everyone feels very tense." Mikey said as he put down his spoon. "I feel like I'm wound too tightly."
"Give it a second, buddy." Dean whispered. "Take some deep breaths."
Dean didn't like Mikey picking up on how anyone was feeling and he had made such great progress in blocking everyone out. At Julliard he was always fine because those were normal people and much easier to shut out, but it was harder at home and he had always had a problem with Jeremy. Dean wasn't especially tense and Sam had been genuine in his greeting so all tension had to be coming from Jeremy who sat down at the table like he was walking over land mines.
There was something in the air, but Dean couldn't really pinpoint if it was actually coming from Jeremy. John had just as much to fret over but he was a master of keeping his shit in check around Mikey and had been since he got his ass chewed out by a seven year old for bad feelings. As soon as Dean started to feel all those bad tense feelings in the air they faded into nothing and when he looked up Sam's hand was on top of Jeremy's. It was just gently resting there and then Sam gave it a light squeeze and gave Jeremy a very sweet little smile. That was all Jeremy needed to relax some and apparently he relaxed quickly since Mikey sighed and picked up his spoon to finish his soup.
"As a may well be aweah." Ollie said before a dramatic throat clearing. "Fwiday is a pawty at a big boy school."
"We know, Ollie." Ethan said. "You told us. We're very excited."
"Mr. King The Beans is bwining his whirl famous cupcakes wit a cweam cheese…that daddy make."
"Oh." Sam smiled. "Did I just get credit where it was due?"
"Aftah a teach him how."
"Damn." Sam whispered. "I shouldn't have said anything."
"A would like to know how to have a big boy pawty." Ollie said. "And if a help, then a will see to it ya get ya own cupcake wit a cweam cheeses."
"What do you mean, baby?" Dean asked. "You've been to lots of parties."
"Do a get delicious punch for Elmah?"
"I think they'll give you juice boxes." Mikey said. "Because those are neater and in my experience it's best to sample the other foods there."
"Wha? The Beans was jus gonna eat ten cupcakes."
"As I suspected, but daddy can make you cupcakes all the time since you taught him how and this is your chance to try new and exciting things other people have made."
"Hmm!"
"And if there is music." Evan added. "As I suspect there might be, I don't want you to be alarmed if the other kids don't dance as well as you."
"And you should control your dancing." Ethan said. "Last year that woman scolded me for dancing with my arms too much so when she wasn't looking I spit in her coffee cup."
"Ethan!"
"Yes, daddy?"
"You spit in Carla's coffee cup?" Sam asked. "Don't do that, it's gross."
"I tried to pee in it but I never got the chance. Daddy said he peed in Anthony's coffee all the time."
"Uh…" Dean said as he scratched his neck. "Oh! Mary! Mashed tatos for you."
"No spitting anywhere and peeing only happens in the toilet."
"Grandpa lets us pee in the woods sometimes."
"What?"
"Sammy, come on." John laughed. "We're men, sometimes if we go for a hike in the woods before our sleepover we might take a leak on a tree."
"Where's Alex when I need him to be outraged?"
"Yeah." Jeremy said. "Where is Alex?"
"They're installing the new floor at the shop today and he wanted to see it. Justin says they're right on schedule."
"Cool. I can't wait to see it."
"How's work without Justin there?"
"Uh…" Jeremy sighed. "More like work. Derek's the only one left. I keep thinking that we're helping people, and if we keep doing it eventually we'll need less people working, but…we just need more every month it seems."
"What do you do?" Ethan asked. "I don't really understand."
"Go ahead." Sam nodded. "You can tell him."
"Well, let me think about that for a second."
Jeremy had looked like a deer caught in the headlights for a second, but once he got the go ahead from Sam he calmed down and tried to think of a response. In a few years once the kids were older, maybe when they were teenagers Dean was really looking forward to telling them what Jeremy did because it was pretty amazing. They were too young to really understand, except for Mikey, but Jeremy was going to try his best because he always did.
"I work at the center downtown and people, mostly women come in with problems. Sometimes they need help um…to stop doing things that are bad for them and sometimes they need to get away from someone who's mean. I help them out."
"Oh, neat."
"Women?" Evan asked. "Just girls?"
"Sometimes there are guys."
"The women get away from mean people." Mikey said. "Jeremy, there should have been someone as smart and nice as you to help Michael when his family was mean."
"I hate 'em!" Ollie yelled. "A hate 'em!"
If Dean hadn't known better he would have thought that Mikey knew everything and had baited Jeremy to get him to say what he did. That wasn't the case though because Mikey just heard something similar to what they told him happened to Michael and he drew a comparison. He was just a child and it was such an innocent thing to say, but it tore deep at Jeremy and his knuckles turned white around his soup spoon. It had to hurt more from Mikey who thought his uncle was smart and nice and not someone who had made it worse for Michael.
"I agree with you, Mikey." Jeremy nodded. "There should have been."
"You know…" Sam said before he smiled. "Even though there wasn't anyone there to help Michael at the time, Jeremy became his friend when he needed one."
"Oh, you're right, daddy." Mikey smiled. "I know how much that means to him."
"You do?" Jeremy asked. "What…did he say something?"
"Well, Charlie and I are best friends and when we have sleepovers at Michael's house sometimes he lets me stay up later because I'm older."
"Not for long!" Ollie yelled. "The Beans is on ya heels!"
"Yes…well…um…anyway, I was saying how nice it is that Charlie's so close now and we can see each other all the time, and he said we're both so lucky to have our best friends so close."
"Ryan's his best friend." Jeremy laughed. "I think he might have been talking about him."
"No, see, I was wondering that too, but he said you’re his best friend because without him you'd have to be friends with Aaron who is so clearly a giant dork."
"Amen!" Dean laughed. "Jeremy, you're his best friend. You always have been and I'm pretty sure you always will be."
"Apparently."
"Let's finish eating, guys." John said. "Then while we wait for Alex we can gather wood for James' comet appeasin' fire."
"Daddy, you're the smartest person I know." Evan said. "Do we really need to appease the comet?"
"Yes." Sam frowned. "We do."
"Why?"
"You ever see James with his shirt off?"
"Say no more." Ethan said as he held up his hands. "We understand perfectly."
After that lunch was just very normal. The kids talked about school some and Jeremy talked about work. They caught him up on the man cave which he couldn't wait to see. John extended a formal invitation since he was never going to exclude people from his super cool hangout. Dean got the point and he promised to discuss a visitors pass to the hideout for John which made him way too happy.
Jeremy had arrived late and he took his time eating so once John left with the kids and the two littlest penguins he was still sitting at the table. Normally Sam was right out of his seat starting to clear things away but he stayed where he was and picked up another half sandwich. It was just unheard of for him to have any kind of seconds but if he was doing it Dean sure as hell was as well. There were still two whole sandwiches left so he grabbed two halves and even got some more soup.
"Dad seems excited about his man cave."
"Yeah, but Carol tricked him into always doing the laundry."
"So he's just going to do his laundry." Dean laughed. "Or wait until she goes to her sister's house and have the washer and dryer moved inside."
"Well, if it works for them." Jeremy smiled. "I didn't meant to make Mikey feel bad."
"It's okay, he's okay." Dean said. "Don't worry about it."
"You guys seem a little better."
"We talked. Granted most of it was about jerking off, but we talked." Sam said before pausing. "Jeremy, is there anything else we need to know?"
"Not that I'm aware of."
"What does that mean?"
"It means I fought so hard to keep him down and I got really good at it, but I couldn't do it all the time, eventually he came out again and he was…unbelievably strong. For a few days, a week sometimes I'd have no idea what was going on and I still don't. But you know everything that I know."
"So there could be more?"
"Maybe." Jeremy shrugged. "But honestly he just spent most of his time getting loaded and jerking off to pictures of you."
"Like Bobby." Dean whispered. "That's hot."
"I'm really sorry, guys, if you knew how much I…"
"Hey." Sam smiled. "It's not your fault. I know you'd do anything to keep Michael safe. You'd never hurt him."
"I wouldn't, even if I didn't have this guilt."
"We know, we'll all be fine, we're going to be okay."
"Really?"
"Really." Sam nodded. "You ever busted anyone out of jail before?"
"No, but I'm not going to worry about that until he asked me to get him out."
"I know you said you'd help, but…" Dean sighed. "Do you think he should help Jason?"
"Jason shouldn't be paying for something he had no control over."
Sam completely agreed with that but Dean still wasn't sold on the idea and that was okay because he was going to let Michael do what he wanted. Dean felt a little bad that no one else had sided with him but he wasn't going to let that bother him. He kept a smile on his face the entire time they cleaned up the kitchen and that smile only got bigger once Jeremy left and Sam kissed all over his big goofy ears one more time.
Sam really wanted to run. He wanted to get outside and feel the wind in his hair as he pushed himself harder and harder. Unfortunately a certain Nervous Nelly bottom thought that people who just got shot didn't go for quick ten mile jogs at least not out in the street where they could be seen. Sam still got dressed in his running gear and then turned up his nose at Dean. He was going to run regardless and even if he had to do it in Michael's gym that was better than nothing.
It actually worked out pretty well because Sam had placed a call to Michael after lunch and asked him to pick up Popeye's on the way home from school. There was one right in New Haven and if he was going to talk to Dean about Jason he'd want him in a great mood. They hadn't eaten at Michael's house in a while so he asked if they could have their chicken there and that was fine with Sam.
Dean actually followed Sam to Michael's house under the guise of lifting some weights but he hadn't actually done that. He was in the gym for about two minutes and when Sam looked over he was gone. If he hadn't wanted to run to badly Sam would have gone to find him but he couldn't be bothered and Michael had given Dean full permission to snoop as much as he wanted to. Apparently he didn't have anything to hide and if Dean found something that shocked or upset him it was his own damn fault for snoopin' in the first place.
When Sam ran, even if it was on the treadmill he really liked to turn his iPod as loud as it would go to drown out everything in his head. Unfortunately all the loudest and angriest chick rock he had couldn't silence his thoughts. They weren't bad thoughts and Sam wasn't really worried about anything but he really just wanted to shut his brain off for a while and enjoy the loud music. That never happened though and for an hour he ran, sweated, and thought about Jeremy, Michael, and even Jason.
Sam thought about Jason the most and while he ran he didn't feel much of anything for him. It wasn't until he was enjoying a quick shower in Michael's bathroom that he started to sympathize with his situation a little. Sam wasn't going to cry about it, but he felt for Jason and he wasn't even sure if he should since they didn't have all the details and apparently never would. Michael couldn't remember and Jeremy was missing blocks of his memory. There was a chance that Jason could shed some new light on what happened but he could easily lie and cast himself as more innocent than he was. Gabe probably knew everything but Sam wasn't sure he wanted to ask. He wanted to let Michael make his own choices and maybe his own mistakes. It was such a sticky situation but Sam had to trust Michael. He wasn't a child anymore and he never really had been the entire time they had known and loved him. He was an adult, simple at that.
After Sam was all clean he straightened up the bathroom and went searching for Dean. He figured he'd be in the bedroom looking for porn but it was just as nice and neat as it had been before Sam's run. The kid's room was empty and so was every other room upstairs. John wanted to show the kids his man cave before he soiled it by manic masturbation but Sam figured they were already downstairs waiting and maybe Dean was hanging out with them. The family room was empty though and the only person in the kitchen was Jeremy who raised and eyebrow and then pointed at the pantry door. Michael had a nice sized walk in pantry and Dean was huddled inside because it was like the Cave of Wonders for him.
"Dean." Sam sighed. "I…"
"My precious." Dean hissed. "Precious."
"That's not your precious, he's with dad. Those are Doritos."
"Cool ranch precious…which you told me they didn't make anymore!"
"This is why I don't let you play at the neighbor's house."
"He's got pretzels covered in chocolate and some kind of stockpile of Cadbury crème eggs!"
Michael certainly did have a wonderful assortment of crap to eat. Sam always called it crap because that's exactly what it was. Him and Alex cooked sometimes and they usually ate pretty healthy stuff but Michael had the biggest junk food tooth ever and it was never satiated. He had sweet stuff like bulk candy, and sugary soft drinks as well as all the savory snacks anyone could ever want. It was amazing he didn't weigh four hundred pounds and that Alex hadn't gained weight since they moved into the house. As unhealthy as everything was Sam could really understand it because Michael was enjoying all those things he never had growing up.
"He does not need this many jars of peanut butter." Sam said as he grabbed one. "I'm taking one home."
"How you gonna steal his peanut butter?" Jeremy asked. "Weak."
"He's got six jars!"
"Well, he goes through a jar a week."
"Huh." Sam whispered. "Interesting. I'd grow another ass."
"Then we better take two jars." Dean said as he walked out of the pantry. "Oh, my belly hurts."
"Don't even start."
"You probably just need some fried chicken to settle it." Jeremy said. "So, uh, before he gets here…um…I talked to him when I left work and he wants to go get Jason this weekend. He's going to take off school Friday."
"If we give him permission?" Dean asked. "Right?"
"No. He's only going to ask permission to bring Jason back here for a while so they can spend some time together. He doesn't need your permission to get him out of jail."
"Did he say that?"
"No, he asked and I told him he didn't."
"You're really not trying too hard to get back on my good side." Dean sighed. "At all."
"You said I didn't do anything wrong so I should still be on your good side."
Sam bit down on his bottom lip and waited but Dean didn't explode or scream or cry. He very calmly walked to the cabinets in the kitchen and got down a stack of plates. Sam didn't really approve of paper plates even for something like fried chicken because it was just so wasteful and Michael so loved using his pretty everyday dinnerware. If Michael wanted to go to get Jason that was fine and Sam was okay with him coming to Connecticut for a few days, but he agreed with Dean and he wasn't going to be around the kids except for maybe a quick supervised meeting. Even that seemed a little unlikely because they'd have so many question about who he was and if Michael's brother was their brother.
"You're right." Dean nodded. "Do you have a plan?"
"I do."
"Will you share it?" Dean asked. "I don't exactly relish the thought of you busting someone out of prison."
"We'll leave on Thursday evening, me, Michael, Alex, and Aaron. Jason's in Bessemer, Alabama, it's classified as maximum security, but because he's so young…"
"How old is he?"
"He was twenty when he went in. He's twenty one now. Ty and…um…"
"Clay Sr." Dean said. "Yeah?"
"They're in another prison. Um, my plan is to go down there and leave Michael and Alex at a motel or somewhere and Aaron and I will go to the prison and…get him."
"That's a really good idea."
"Yeah, I actually feel a little better." Dean said before he laughed weakly. "Not much, but a little."
For some reason Sam kept imagining Jeremy and Michael tunneling in with guns and taking out guards to get Jason out. It was certainly a dramatic rescue, but it was ridiculous as well. Jeremy really had thought it out and Sam felt much better knowing Michael wasn't going to be anywhere around when they sprang Jason from the pokey. Dean had sort of been trying to occupy himself with pulling out flatware and cups but he was starting to get a little interested and though Sam wasn't going to admit it, breaking someone out of jail was sort of exciting.
"My first thought was to just shift in and get him out. They live in dorms sort of, but they transfer trouble makers into cells. I'm betting he'll be in the dorm though."
"Shift in?" Dean frowned. "I hate when you do that."
"I'm not going to anyway, mostly because I'd have to do that alone and then wait for Aaron."
"So what's the new plan?" Sam asked. "No violence."
"Not any little bit. I'm going to walk in the front door with Aaron and then we'll get Jason and walk right back out."
"Oh." Sam whispered. "That's…wait, what?"
"In and out." Jeremy smiled. "It'll take some heavy mojo, but I've been on the sidelines for a while now. They have visitation Friday so we should be able to walk in and then we'll do our thing, get to him, and get out."
"Dude." Dean whispered. "Can you become invisible?"
"No, but I can make people not look at us. Don't worry, this is…this is going to be really easy."
"What if something goes wrong?" Sam asked. "I'm with you and I know compared to what you two have pulled off this probably is easy but you need a plan B."
"It'll work."
"How do you know?"
"Because it has to." Jeremy said quietly. "Because this is what he wants and I owe him."
"How often do you cry about this?" Dean asked. "Really?"
"As often as you thank God for the gift of family."
When Jeremy broke down and began to sob into his hands Sam started to think that maybe getting Jason out of prison wouldn't just be good for Michael. If Jeremy did it some of that guilt he was always dragging around might be alleviated. When Sam looked over Dean nodded because he felt the same way and then he put his arms around Jeremy to comfort him. Dean was never going to throw his full support behind anything to do with Michael's old family, but Sam could see him lean just a little closer to everyone else.
"Shh." Dean whispered. "It's okay, it's not your fault."
"I think sometimes after all the pain I caused, it would have been better…better if I had never been…"
"Don't say that." Dean smiled. "Don't ever say or think that, Jeremy. You know what we like best about you?"
"My ass?"
"No." Dean laughed. "That is nice though. We love that you never give up and that twenty years from now you'll still be trying to make things right. Hell, you'll still be trying after you get whatever confirmation you're looking for."
"Really?"
"Really." Dean said. "God, I just wish I knew why he wants to do this so bad."
"He's transitioning. He came here as a little scared boy and spent all summer preparing to face them again then he spent a year getting used to a normal life and learning how to be in love for the first time. He met his mom again and maybe this is the last thing he needs to do."
"I just don't think it's a good idea."
"It may not be." Sam sighed. "But we have to support him."
"Yeah, we do."
Sam held on to Jeremy and Dean for a about a minute until they both calmed down and started to joke about crying. There were some other things Sam considered saying about why Michael wanted to help Jason, but they wouldn't have made any sense to anyone except Jeremy since he was thinking about a little brother doing anything to get a big brother out a place he didn't belong. Thinking about Clark and James actually made Sam giggle a little too but when Dean asked what was so funny he kept his mouth shut.
Michael ended up coming in about ten minutes later which was about a half hour earlier than Sam expected him. He must have left his last class early which was a big no-no but Sam wasn't going to call attention to it and Dean was too drunk on chicken smells to notice. The chicken wasn't the only thing distracting him either because Michael was back home and Dean got to see him again. It was just as cute as seeing him with Ollie because Dean made such a fuss over Michael and he was still blushing even after so much time.
"I got the chicken, lots of chicken!"
"Awesome." Sam smiled "Oh, I used the shower after I ran."
"That's fine." Michael nodded. "Did ya'll notice that big pile of crazy across the street is getting bigger and crazier?"
"Yeah." Dean sighed. "James went and got more corn today to burn. I'm going to sit him down tomorrow and make sure he knows we'll get in trouble if we burn down the state."
"He's crazy with that comet. Where are my brothers and those babies!"
"They're with dad." Jeremy said. "He had to show off his man cave before he started nutting all over the place."
"Oh…do I not get to see it?"
"Actually, he's going to have a little open house thing." Dean frowned. "We're all invited and I think we're going to jerk each other off."
"Oh, hey, that sounds like fun! I'll bring that bean dip with the cheese and sour cream."
"Kinky." Sam grinned. "Too kinky maybe and Alex is at the store with Justin but he'll be back in…oh, like twenty minutes, then we can eat."
"Good, good….well…um…"
"You gotta ask." Dean smiled. "Remember what we told you. If you need anything, if you want anything, all you have to do is ask."
"But I always know the answer is yes and now I'm afraid it won't be."
For a second Sam really thought that Michael wouldn't ask if he should help Jason or if he could bring him back to Connecticut for a while. He looked so confused and more conflicted than Sam had ever seen. As the oldest he was the most aware out of all the kids and sometimes that worked against him. Mikey could say or do something and not really worry about the repercussions because he was a kid and he was still young enough to not know the full gravity of his actions. Michael was an adult, he had been the entire time he was their son and he knew Dean well. After Sam and John he probably knew Dean the best and he had to have known what was running through his head.
They were just staring for a while and Michael's eyes were shimmering. Dean could handle the babies or Ollie crying and he'd always work his best to calm them down but he could never handle it when Michael did. He had cried more than all of the kids combined and Dean really thought he shouldn't have any more tears in his life unless they were happy ones. Sam agreed with that but it was useless to try and stop the tears from coming because they called the shots.
Michael's hair hadn't been cut for a while since he was trying to grow it out and it seemed to be getting thicker the longer it got. He had a bit of it over his forehead nearly covering his left eyebrow and Dean gently pushed it back before running his thumb under Michael's eye. He smiled at that and then looked over at Sam who smiled back and gave Michael the smallest little nod of encouragement.
"I'd like to go get my…I'd like to go get Jason." Michael said. "And bring him back here for a while."
"I think this is a bad idea." Dean said. "I want to make sure you know that."
"I figured you would. Dad?"
"I'm…" Sam sighed. "Michael, I want you to do what you feel you have to, but I don't want you to get hurt. I don't want you to expect to much from him."
"You think he'll hurt me?"
"I think blood and bruises might be the least of your problems."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean I don't want you to go down there and bring him back here expecting that you two can be a happy family again. That may not be what he wants and once he's here it may not be what you want."
"I got a happy family already, I just want to do the right thing. I know he wasn't bad like them, not as bad."
"What about the drugs?" Dean asked. "He was selling drugs."
"That was Clay and Ty."
"Okay." Dean sighed. "You can bring him here, but I don't want you to plan on him staying. Once he's here we can talk about that."
"That's fair."
"And…um…"
"The kids." Sam said. "They won't be coming over here for sleepovers and Mikey can't stop by to play the piano anymore."
"Oh." Michael whispered. "Um, okay."
That was Dean's rule that he probably should have mentioned himself but Michael just thought the world of him so Sam mentioned it. If he was going to get upset Sam preferred that he be upset with him instead of Dean. Obviously Michael wasn't completely on board with that rule because in a way they were forcing him to choose his old brother over his new siblings, but Sam was sure that if Jason was a good guy Dean might change his mind some and that maybe some supervised visits might happen in the future.
"Are you okay with that?"
"Well…" Michael said before he paused. "What do you mean, exactly?"
"Sleepovers are out of the question and I don't want Mikey walking over to practice his piano unless we're with him or dad." Sam said. "Right?"
"Yes."
"Ya'll don't trust me to keep Mikey safe?"
"Michael, we don't trust him, right now." Dean said. "That's it."
"Okay, well…okay. I'll bring him here and he can stay for a while and then he'll have to go back home. Can I…well, I might want him to meet my brothers and the babies. Maybe we'll have dinner on Saturday."
"We'll see."
"Okay."
Sam really thought all that was more than fair but it was a lot of rules mostly about the things that mattered most to Michael. Being the biggest big brother was as important to him as it was to Dean and he had to make a choice that would exclude the kids from their weekly sleepover at least for a while. It was tough choice to make but he was going what he thought was best and in a way Sam was really proud of him for standing up for what he believed in.
Because they were waiting on Alex and Aaron so they could eat dinner Michael decided he was going to go check out the man cave before it became John's masturbation haven. He went out the backdoor at the exact moment Alex was pulling into the garage. Because he had missed lunch and taken off as soon as school was over he was mostly in the dark but he knew and had known for a while about what Michael wanted to do. Unfortunately Alex didn't have a chance to speak with Dean or Sam about what he wanted in his house and it most certainly wasn't Jason Higgins.
"Where's Michael?"
"He went to see dad's man cave." Dean smiled. "Before it gets sticky."
"Oh…is he upset?"
"He's okay." Sam nodded. "I mean we told him the kids couldn't sleep over here while Jason was here and…"
"What?"
"We don't want the kids…"
"Wait a minute." Alex said. "You told him he could bring him back here?"
"Yeah, I did." Dean said. "We did."
"Un-fucking-believable."
"What…Alex, what's wrong?"
"You blow a fucking gasket when I ask him to marry me." Alex said. "Don't talk to me for three days. You're so fucking worried about me stealing your son away from you, but you give him permission to bring home Jason who actively participated in beating and fucking him. Great job, both of you."
"Don't talk to us like that."
"This is my house." Alex said. "I'll talk to you however I damn well please. And you."
"Me?" Jeremy asked. "I…"
"You nearly kill yourself to keep him safe from a fucking social worker and now you're going to help bust a rapist out of jail."
"Alex." Sam said. "Why didn't you tell Michael you weren't okay with this?"
"Because I never thought any of you would be stupid enough to be okay with it. I have to live with him. I had to sleep next to him and spend all night making sure he was okay after he woke up screaming from nightmares he had…still has sometimes. If you said no he would have listened."
"He's doing what he thinks is right." Dean said. "I can't tell him not to."
"You could have."
"Where are you going?"
"I'm going to change my clothes." Alex said. "Then I'm going back to the store to help Justin and Charlie paint."
"Alex, stay for chicken." Sam said. "We'll…we can all sit down and talk."
"I'm not hungry."
"Are you still coming with us Friday?" Jeremy asked. "You have to tell him if you're not."
"Oh, I wouldn't miss this beautiful family reunion for the world."
Alex yanked his tie loose, threw down his keys and then walked out of the kitchen. He never liked to rattle any cages, ruffle any feathers, or really get in the way at all and Sam probably should have expected that he would eventually since he was getting pretty close to becoming a Winchester.
He left again before Michael made it back with the kids and John and just a few minutes later Aaron showed up. They didn't tell Michael what Alex had said, just that he wanted to help out at the store which he completely bought. They all ate dinner together and while Sam thought the fried chicken was excellent, Dean thought it wasn’t nearly as good as it should have been. |
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