|
[Jun. 30th, 2009|03:41 pm] |
I really enjoyed writing this story, so much so that it was nearly a big mega story but I managed to restrain myself. It could have easily gotten away from me. Anyway, the rest of the secondary character pov stories are just sort of fun stories, but this one is actually pretty important to the plot of the main story wink wink
Title: Rainmaker.
Author: ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif) bitchandjerk
Characters: Jason, Aaron/Jeremy, Michael/Alex, Sam/Dean
Rating :R
Words10,700
Warnings: Wincest, mentions of child abuse and rape
Summary: On Friday all Jason Higgins wants is a letter in the mail from his baby brother.
Notes::AU, rest are here.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters.
Feedback: Makes me hard
It was hot, far too hot for nearly the end of October even in Alabama. Two weeks ago Jason had gone to send a letter and he heard a few of the guards talking about the heat breaking but it had never happened. It stayed ungodly hot and just plain stubborn. His mamma always said that about the heat because she didn't use words like persistent which he thought was an excellent way to describe the heat. She always said it was stubborn like heat was something that could be reckoned with.
Weather was something that could be reckoned with just not heat. Jason knew good and well that he could make rain if he had some matches and a little pile of salt and he was sure the rain would break the heat. He could get some salt packets from the cafeteria, but matches just weren't available at least not to him. Some of the bigger older guys had matches to light cigarettes but Jason didn't go near them. He kept his head down and he stayed out of trouble. He hadn't finished high school but he was still smart enough to know when to not be seen.
Since he couldn't get the matches Jason was just going to have to deal with the heat and keep on waiting for a cool front to breeze into town. On Friday morning it was so hot that he woke up with his pants stuck to the skin on the back of his legs. His legs were always sweaty for some reason and most of the time more than a little damp. His shirt never was though which just confused him because it seemed like most people would sweat from their arms. Jason never was exactly normal though so he barely paid it any mind at all.
Everyday when he woke up Jason would do the exact same thing. He'd go to the bathroom and then wash his face before he changed into his clothes for breakfast. After that it was work for a little while and then lunch and some free time to maybe read a book before dinner. He did that everyday without fail except for Friday. Friday was the day people got visitors and while Jason knew he'd never be lucky enough to have someone come see him it was also mail day and he had been waiting for two weeks. Normally he knew better than to expect something, but he had never sent a letter before and two Fridays ago he did. He was so looking forward to a letter written in a beautiful script with lots of big words he might have to look up. He didn't look forward to feeling dumb, but looking up words in a dictionary was a great way to pass the time and if someone saw him they might ask what he was doing and he could brag about getting a very special letter.
After a quick trip to the bathroom Jason got dressed and skipped breakfast to see if he had any mail. It was still too early for Friday's delivery but he knew they kept the week's mail to pass out all at once. He didn't really understand why they did that but it was probably a little easier with so many people expecting letters. Jason was always so jealous of the people who got letters every Friday. They'd get letters from their girls or wives and sometimes from parents. Jason didn't have a girlfriend or a wife and he knew his mamma wasn't going to write him and his daddy was probably dead. Ty was dumber than a box full of hair and he didn't know how to read or write not that he would if he could. That left one person and as Jason walked to the wired window to check on the mail he squeezed his eyes shut and he prayed and wished for just one letter.
"Jason Higgins!" He said after he was at the window. "Comin' to see if I got any mail today."
"No."
"You…you didn't even check."
"You never get mail."
"I don't usually, but I sent my baby brother a birthday card and I just know he'll write me back because…"
"This?"
The man who was in charge of the mail was one of the meanest people Jason had ever met. In his hand was the card Jason had worked so hard to get for Michael. He had slaved for hours over making sure he wrote the perfect thing in his neatest handwriting. It hadn't even been sent but it was opened, the beautiful blue envelope was torn and it had big fat greasy thumbprints on it. Jason wanted it there for Michael's birthday and it hadn't even been sent. It wasn't going to get sent either because the man holding it had the ugliest smile on his face and he tore it right in half.
Jason didn't care about the hard work he had put into it or the time it had taken to make. He had nothing but time on his hands, but he wanted Michael to have the card so badly. He wanted him to know that he prayed every night that he was okay and most of all that he was safe and happy. Jason wanted him to know he was sorry for not stealing money and running away with him. He wanted to apologize for being weak and he couldn't. He didn't even know where Michael was, but they had ways of getting letters to people. Jason thought for sure they could send the card to those fancy lawyers and then they could give it to Michael and he could write back.
The man behind the window ripped the card in four and then proceeded to make confetti out of it. Jason had things he wanted to say to him but he kept his mouth shut and turned to walk away. There were people behind him waiting and the one thing you didn't do in prison was cry because someone was mean. That was like advertising you wanted to be someone's bitch and that you were weak. Jason wasn't going to do that he was going to be strong and keep his head up.
Jason had planned on reading his letter from Michael a dozen times but since that wasn't going to happen he went to the cafeteria to get his breakfast. It was still early and most people didn't wake up until they had to which was at eight in the morning. The cafeteria was mostly empty which Jason liked because he could sit by himself and think. Normally he thought about what he'd do for the rest of the day and if he'd be able to finish his book from the library, but that morning with the stubborn heat in the air he thought about Michael.
The last time Jason saw him, before the trial was his last week of school. Michael had just disappeared the previous weekend and no one knew where he was and no one seemed to care. Jason did though because he was so worried he had gone and done something awful to get away from Clay when he was so close to leaving anyway. He looked all weekend at the library and the park but Michael was nowhere to be found. It was so scary but then on Monday morning Jason finally saw him heading into school to take all his exams. He knew he would be there because Michael was nothing if not scholastically responsible. Jason really wanted to make sure he was okay, but there was a terrifying man with him.
He had dark hair and he was sort of tall. He wasn't that big, but he dropped Michael off at school with the scariest look in his eye. He looked like one of those eagles on the nature programs that could take out a much bigger and stronger animal if it got near the eggs. Jason wasn't going to risk messing with a man like that so he waited for Michael to come home from school and he never did. He went to school everyday though and that same man was standing watch outside like some kind of guard so no one would dare get close.
A week after that the police came to the house and Jason hadn't known freedom since. That Summer was just awful and Jason had no idea that it was going to get so much worse before the cool fronts came in. Ty and Clay were sniping at each other constantly and just getting themselves in more trouble because they were so damn stupid. Jason was smart and he kept quiet unless he was alone with one of the cops. As strange as it was he felt safe in jail because they were keeping everyone separated and he could let the cops know all the horrible things Clay and Ty had done. Jason felt like it was his duty to get justice for that poor dead girl and Michael, who he hoped was thousands of miles away.
It was in August when the trail started that he realized Michael hadn't left forever. He came back and he was the most handsome man Jason had ever seen. He had on the nicest looking suit and he had gained some weight. He looked like he was so well taken care of and that was all Jason really needed to see. The lawyer, who was a complete bumbling idiot had told them a little but not a lot. Michael had apparently done quite well for himself because his new parents, two men, were very well off and he had a whole family up North somewhere. Jason wasn't sure what up North was and the lawyer didn't know either, but it sounded nice and it surely wasn't so damn hot up there.
Once Jason had some time to think about it he was pretty sure it was a good thing the card hadn't been sent. It certainly seemed like Michael had a really nice life and he didn't need a reminder. Jason actually felt a little guilty for thinking the card was a good idea, but he still wanted Michael to know he was sorry he hadn't helped and that he loved him. God only knew how much Jason really loved his little brother and how he'd spend the rest of his life asking for forgiveness for being so damn week.
Breakfast, as usual, was appalling and Jason didn't even finish it. He ate his bacon because it was okay but he only picked at the unnaturally yellow powdered eggs. There was a fruit cup too but it had too much sugar in it which always made him tired. He handed that back in to a completely impartial server and then went straight to work since he didn't have a letter to read.
The work wasn't challenging at all but that was the main reason Jason enjoyed it so much. All he had to do was look over clothing that was made elsewhere and then brought in for inspection. He'd go over the seams and tug lightly at the pockets and then slip in one of his little stickers. He was number 302 and had been since he had been there. There weren't 302 people working of course but he was at the second station in the third aisle. They liked to keep everyone in one place for some reason which Jason didn't entirely understand because it wasn't like someone who had a problem with the clothes was going to ask to speak to whoever had inspected them. They were mostly going to other facilities anyway and Jason knew first hand those people didn't care about what their clothes looked like.
By the time everyone had to break for lunch Jason had been through a couple hundred pairs of pants and a few hundred shirts as well. He had been playing a game for months where he was counting and trying to break his record but he always got confused and forgot where he was at. He was sure he was better than he was at the beginning though because he had a system which he felt was pretty darn productive. It was really just him tugging both pant pockets at the same time, but no one else did it that way so his method was special.
Everyone who worked with the clothes had to break at the same time and go to lunch at the same time so no one was left unsupervised. They were all walking in a rather wide line together to the cafeteria when Jason first spotted the two odd men standing together and holding hands. It was the strangest thing he had ever seen because they were adults and holding hands like two little kids. They were the exact same height and possibly twins, but one was a lot larger and scarier than the other. He had curly hair that was lighter and Jason thought he looked as determined as that man who had guarded the school when Michael was in there.
They weren't prisoner or guards because they weren't in uniform and they didn't let visitors into the main cafeteria. There was another for the visitors if they wanted to eat lunch with their incarcerated family members. Incidentally Jason had never actually seen it, but apparently the food there was much better than the crud they served the prisoners. The guards got food from the second cafeteria, which Jason didn't think was fair at all, but you didn't get to complain about things not being fair when you were in prison.
Because there was such a big crowd coming from work detail Jason moved out of the line and let all the other people behind him go first. He didn't like having people behind him because it made him so nervous and sometimes he'd end up getting shoved, yelled at, or hit. He was better waiting and sometimes the crowds at the tables would thin out so he wouldn't have to sit with anyone.
"Jason Higgins?"
"Oh, my lord!" Jason whispered. "Who are you? How'd you get here so…"
"My name is Aaron Winchester, this is my brother Jeremy."
"Jesus, you look just like him."
"I never did nothing." Jason said. "I don't do nothing, I keep to myself."
"Lovely." Jeremy smiled. "Listen to me and listen very carefully."
"Your eyes are…"
"Ignore that."
Jason couldn't ignore it because what he was seeing just wasn't right. Normal people didn't have eyes that looked like they were lit from behind. They were almost sparking like someone had lit some candles and just left them to flicker. Aaron, the big one with the lighter curly hair looked exactly the same. There was really only one explanation Jason could think of, he was in the company of angels.
"We need you to stay behind us as closely as you can. You're not to speak or make any sudden movements. Look straight ahead and no matter what happens don't move from behind us."
"What are you going to do to me?"
"What do you think?" Aaron asked. "We're here to…"
"Punish me, for my sins. God sent you."
"God forgives." Aaron said. "He doesn't punish."
"Ya'll are angels?"
"Working on it." Jeremy sighed. "Now shut up and if you call any attention to yourself I'll kill you."
"Yes, sir."
"I'm serious."
"I believe you."
"Don't you want to know what we're doing?"
"You told me to shut up."
Jason did want to know but he knew better than to ask questions. He didn't do that with normal people and he wasn't going to do it with angels for sure. They were just so strong looking and he really didn't care what they did with him. If they were there to punish him then he was meant to be punished because that's what God wanted. If they were just going to kill him that was okay too because angels work for God and he had a plan for Jason. He had a plan for everyone which was why Clay was in hell and Michael had a fancy life somewhere up north.
"What if this doesn't work?"
"Well." Jeremy said. "Then you grab him and run and I'll distract the guards."
"How?" Aaron asked. "I'm not leaving you here."
"It'll work, Aaron, trust me."
They were both moving so slowly and Jason kept accidentally bumping into them which made Jeremy turn around and narrow his eyes. It wasn't his fault at all, Jason was just trying to stay close because he felt safer that way. The three of them sort of inched along right past three separate guards two of whom normally didn't even let anyone sneeze in their presence much less walk past with an acknowledgement. The guards didn't even look at them it was like they were just completely invisible.
"Are ya'll invisible angels?"
"What did I say?" Jeremy whispered back. "Keep quiet."
"I was just wondering 'cuz we passed those…"
"Quiet."
"I'm sorry, Mr. Aaron."
"Just be quiet." Aaron whispered. "This is for your own good."
For a half hour Jason kept quiet and passed guards he knew and doors he had never seen. He kept expecting that they'd hit a wall but either every door was unlocked or those two didn't have a problem unlocking them with just the slightest pressure from their hands. It was amazing and terrifying at the same time but all Jason really cared about was how close he was getting to the sunshine. He could see it through the windows and when he was out in the yard he could feel it on his skin, but it wasn't the same when he didn't have freedom. The sunlight came in through bars and no matter where he was outside he could always see the fence which was so high and covered in razor wire.
After one last hallway they were in the lobby where people were wandering around freely and getting their visitors' passes. It made Jason a little sad because there were kids out there and he never expected that. He didn't know why he didn't expect it because some of the men were older and would obviously have kids. They had to grow up without a daddy which must have been awful since Jason was sure some daddies were just the best they could be unlike his own daddy.
In the lobby very close to the entrance Jeremy backed Jason into a corner and became very still. Jason tried to be just as still but he couldn't do it as well. For the first time he had seen them Jeremy and Aaron stopped holding hands which was a little scary. Jason thought it was better for them to hold hands but he knew better than to question it since that was talking and he was supposed to be quiet.
"Excuse me, Ma'am?"
"Visitors have to sign in." The woman behind the desk said. "Then we'll check you in."
"I need you to pull up the records for this facility and mark Jason Higgins as deceased." Aaron said. "He died last week in an altercation with another prisoner."
"Yes, sir."
"Thank you."
"Have a wonderful day."
"And you as well."
He hypnotized her just like he was some kind of magician and that really scared Jason. He had a very rigid idea of angels in his head and he was pretty sure they didn't go around hypnotizing people or taking Jesus' name in vain. Still they were too close to the exit for Jason to even care who or what they were. Once they were outside under that merciless sun he cared even less. The last time Jason had seen the front of the prison was when they drove past it on the bus to go in the back and he never thought he'd see it again, but he was there standing in that stubborn heat.
"Are you okay?"
"I'm fine." Jeremy said. "I'm fine, I just…"
"Look at me." Aaron said. "Open your eyes."
"No."
"Jeremy, do it."
Jason didn't know why he moved to the side when he should have stayed behind Jeremy where things were safer. If he was in the back he was less noticeable and things were a little less clear. He made the mistake of sidestepping the second before Jeremy opened his eyes and Jason realized he wasn't an angel at all, he was a devil with eyes as black as pitch and still glowing so beautifully. Angel or devil Jason still really wasn't that scared because he knew he had been bad and someone or something was going to make him pay.
"I love you." Aaron whispered. "I love you, dad loves you, Sam and Dean love you."
"Don't you run."
"I'm not going nowhere." Jason said. "I love you."
"You don't even know me." Jeremy panted. "You don’t love me."
"Well, no but, I thought it might help. Ya'll got brothers? Is that who Sam and Dean are?"
"Yes." Aaron said. "Do you?"
"One baby brother, Mr. Aaron."
"What's his name?" Jeremy asked. "Your brother?"
"Michael, he's…your eyes look better now."
"Thanks."
"I didn't do anything." Jason shrugged. "Don't think I did. I might have, I know how to make rain."
"Come on." Aaron smiled. "Let's go."
"May I ask where it is we're going?"
"Comfort Inn about ten miles away."
"Why?"
"Because." Jeremy said. "That's where Michael is and he's waiting for you."
No one was around to see him being weak so Jason cried and prayed again that it was true and they weren't just being mean to him. Just in case they were telling the truth he asked if he could borrow some money and if they could stop at a drugstore on the way in. Aaron was driving so Jeremy gave him ten dollars which Jason used to buy a pen, a birthday card, and a big cold bottle of Mountain Dew as a present which was better than anything he could have sent through the mail.
The original card Jason bought while he was still locked up had a dog on it and it was meant for kids. That was all he had available to him and in a way he thought it was kind of nice because he was buying a card for his little brother who was always going to be his kid brother even if he was twenty years old. Jason couldn't believe Michael was that old because that was a big old adult age and adults had things like jobs and bills.
The second card was a little more mature since Jason had such a wide selection to choose from. They even had cards from one brother to another which made Jason happier than he had been in a good long while. Unfortunately some of those cards, the ones with the prettiest pictures mentioned families and growing up to be like daddy and Jason didn't think that was appropriate at all. One of them said that they shared a special bond as brothers and Jason really liked it but he thought it was a little too personal and he hated the idea of Michael being anything like him.
The card he settled on came in a crème colored envelope that was all fancy and gold inside. There was a beautiful watercolor sunset on the front and inside it had the simplest wish of another well lived year and to have a happy birthday. Jason thought that was very nice and when he asked for an opinion Aaron agreed before mentioning he had bought a similar belated birthday card for Sam, his brother. Obviously Sam was someone Aaron loved very much, Jason could tell just by the look in his eye. It was sort of far off like how when people talked about their favorite movie star or athlete.
After he got a pen and the two liter Jason climbed back into the big black truck Aaron was driving. It was just about the nicest car he had ever seen and certainly the nicest he had ever ridden in. It even had leather seats and not a stitch of duct tape to hide a tear. Clay's truck was like that and in the summer the tape would get so sticky and peel back. More often than not it stuck right to Jason's jeans and he'd have to scrub at them before they went in the wash.
Jason was thinking about that as they drove down the bumpy roads. It was too bumpy in the car to write anything in the card which was okay because once they parked at the hotel Jason only signed his name under the word love. His last card had been filled with well wishes and advice and apologies but if Aaron and Jeremy were telling the truth Jason would get to tell Michael everything in person. He'd get to apologize to him face to face and keep doing it until he was absolutely certain Michael believed him. After he knew Michael believed him Jason could then accept punishment for his sins whatever that might be.
"Does he still like Mountain Dew?"
"Yes, Jason." Aaron nodded. "He does."
"Southern Champagne!"
"What?"
"Southern Champagne." Jason said again. "That's what it is."
"You're in an awfully good mood." Jeremy said. "Why is that?"
"You…you said my baby brother's in there. You got me out of jail."
"Don't you think you belong in jail?"
"Yes, sir, I do." Jason said. "But after I see my baby brother I suspect you'll be punishing me for my sins."
"Did you ever want to hurt him?" Aaron asked. "Tell me the truth and I'll know if you're lying."
"I don't lie, sir."
"Tell me."
"Never. I never wanted to. I did, I won't pretend I didn't, but I never wanted to. Whenever…whenever I made him do something for me, I always felt so bad during. Bad because I knew it was wrong and my head hurt and my nose was always bleeding. I had the worst problems with my headaches growing up, didn't stop until he left."
"Did you fuck him?"
"Jeremy."
"Did you fuck him?" Jeremy asked again. "Don't lie."
"No, sir."
Jason never did that and it was probably the hardest thing in his life to not do. He felt like he should do it, like it was as necessary as breathing. Michael had done other things for him and some of those were against his will but Jason was never going to do that. It was just awful and he knew it would make him more like Clay and honestly he would have rather died.
"What did you do?"
"He uh…well, I would make him…"
"Suck your cock?"
"Yes, sir and stroke me off."
"Jason, do you remember hurting him physically?" Aaron asked. "Hitting him with your hands or anything else."
"Once. It was a little before he left, I felt…there was a storm and we was all in the house, the lights were flickering and Clay was…he was worse than ever before and I didn't want to hit him, I didn't want to hurt him, but I had to, it was like…I was just watching my body, my arms, and hands, and the bat."
"That wasn't you." Jeremy whispered. "Don't blame yourself for that, for any of it."
"It wasn't?"
"No." Jeremy smiled. "Aaron, why don't you take him to see Michael. I need some air."
"Okay."
"Mr. Jeremy?"
"What?"
"When I'm upset or scared…well, I find it helps to think about the people I love."
Jason didn't want to be giving too much unsolicited advice but something was really bothering Jeremy and he just hated to see people in pain. He looked so sad and Jason wasn't sure but it certainly seemed like he needed a hug or at least some kind of affection from Aaron. They were looking at each other so strangely like that affection kept almost happening but never really could.
"You don't seem that scared." Aaron said as they walked away. "You saw his eyes."
"I did."
"You've seen that before."
"Yes, sir. He's not like Clay was."
"No." Aaron smiled. "Thank God for that."
"Mr. Aaron is he really here?"
"Yeah, he's right inside. Deep breath."
Jason nodded and tried his best to take the biggest deepest breath he could, but he wasn't strong enough and as soon as he sucked it in he had to let it out and take another. Aaron knocked very lightly and then looked back to smile which was incredibly comforting. He seemed a little more approachable than Jeremy who was just wound way too tight. Before the door opened Jason made a plan and he decided to become friends with Jeremy if that was an option because everyone needed someone to talk to about the things that were bothering them.
Behind the closed door Jason could hear the little tinkling sound of the chain being undone. He was so sure that was Michael unlocking the door but someone else answered, someone who looked so angry and upset. He was a very handsome man with dark hair and cool dark eyes that were somewhere between a deep green and earth brown. He was dressed just about as fancy as a man could get in a dark suit with a shiny tie the same color of his eyes.
"How was it?"
"Fine." Aaron said. "Jeremy overexerted himself and I'd like to check on him."
"Don't you think you should stay?"
"No." Aaron said as he looked over at Jason. "I don't think I'll be needed. Jason, this is Alex Watkins."
"It's a pleasure to meet you sir!" Jason said as he extended his hand. "I'm Jason Higgins!"
"Stay close, Aaron."
"I will, Alex."
Jason raised his hand a little higher just in case Alex didn't see it, but he noticed it and elected to not shake it. To be on the safe side Jason kept it extended for another few seconds but Alex made no attempt to do anything. He wasn't even looking at him which was making Jason more than a little uncomfortable. He felt like he should clear the air, but he couldn't think of anything to say and by the time Alex stepped out of the way to let him into the room it was too late.
Michael was sitting at the little table in the corner of the room with a shiny black phone pressed to his ear. He had the biggest smile on his face and that was before he looked up and noticed Jason there. Though he thought a reunion would never happened Jason had still imagined it a thousand times. He imagined Michael running to him so they could hug each other but he stayed seated and kept nodding into the phone.
"Well, I knew you would, baby brother….what? You want all my candy? I'm gonna need three bellies and four toes. He's too young to eat candy but we'll get some for him and Mary. Okay, I love you too and I'll see you tomorrow."
"He's on the phone with his brother." Alex said. "He went to his first Halloween party."
"Oh." Jason whispered. "He's got a brother?"
"Five and a sister."
"My goodness."
Michael was so handsome looking and he must have found himself a really nice job because his clothes looked so expensive. He was wearing a pair of jeans and a button up shirt, the kind they definitely didn't sell at Wal-Mart. He looked a lot different than he did the last time Jason had seen him and that made him happy. Michael was strong looking, tall, and healthy. He had some nice color to his skin and his fuzzy red hair was longer and just as shiny as could be. He looked great which was exactly what Jason wanted to see and though the wait to talk was killing him he was still happy to see that big bright smile. Bad as it was Jason really hoped Clay was watching from hell because he was missing all kinds of teeth and Michael's were just perfect.
Apparently Michael's brother had handed the phone to someone else because he was reassuring someone and his tone had changed a little. He sounded like more of a grown-up, one that was completely secure and sure of himself. He was a big man and not some little boy anymore. Jason just loved watching him talk and he was enjoying studying everything about Michael including that shiny silver ring with diamonds on his wedding finger.
That made Jason want to hoot and holler because Michael deserved someone to love him. He really wanted to take a step forward to get a look at the ring but he realized he didn't have to because Alex, who Jason was going to call Mr. Watkins on account of him being so old, had on the exact same ring. It was way too shiny to be silver and those were certainly diamonds. Alex must have been Michael's life partner which was just fine with Jason since he looked like a nice guy and he smelled about as good as a bar of fresh soap.
"Why are you looking at me?"
"Are ya'll married!" Jason whispered. "How old are you!"
"Thirty-one and no we're not. Not yet."
"What kinda job you got?"
"Excuse me?" Alex asked as he finally looked over. "Why the hell does that matter?"
"I was just wonderin'. I bet you're a doctor…or maybe you're in the movies."
"Why…why would you think that?"
"Well, you look very smart like a doctor, but you're handsome and dressed real nice." Jason smiled. "Mr. Watkins, if I've done something to upset you I want to apologize. I intended no harm and it really is nice to meet you. I'd like us to be friends if we're going to be family."
"It's nice to meet you…too, Ja…Jason."
"Thank you."
"Jason." Michael said. "Hi."
Michael was off the phone and up out of his seat. He looked even more impressive when he stood up because those clothes fit him just perfectly and he was impeccably groomed. Every hair was in place, there wasn't a crumb on his shirt and even his nails looked expertly trimmed and fancy shiny. Jason noticed all of that because he was a very good noticer but he let his eyes fall on that smile that could light up the entire room.
"Mike."
"Michael. I go by Michael now."
"Oh…Oh! Happy Birthday!"
"What?"
"Happy birthday!" Jason said again as he set down the two liter. "And I got you a card. I tried to send one but the mail man didn't like me. He tore it up."
"That's really sweet." Michael said. "Thank you."
"I know it was last week, and last year I tried but they had just moved me and you don't get mail privileges right away."
"It's the thought that counts." Michael said as he took the card. "You met Alex, my boyfriend."
"He smells so nice." Jason whispered. "Like a brand new bar of soap."
"I guess he does. Ollie won the costume contest."
"No big surprise there." Alex laughed. "Good thing we got some ice, we can have some of that Mountain Dew."
"You got brothers?" Jason asked. "And those new parents."
"Yeah, I have five brothers, one baby sister named Mary, her twin brother is Milo, they're almost one. Ollie is gonna be three at the end of the month and Ethan and Evan are the other twins, they'll be five on Christmas day and Mikey just turned eight."
"Two sets of twins, wow, that's a lot of kids. I bet you're good with 'em."
"I'm pretty good."
"Did you hear 'bout Clay's baby?"
"Dani." Michael nodded. "Yeah."
"They came and talked to me, I said I ain't never done that with nobody, she ain't mine but they still wanted to test so I let 'em. "
"I'm going to see her this summer when I have some time off. She's living with Kristen's cousin, Alice. She's really nice. I've talked to her on the phone a couple of times."
"That's good."
Michael smiled and then opened up his birthday card while Alex poured two little cups of Mountain Dew. Jason was still standing up and fighting every urge in his body to not hug Michael. He really wanted to just to make sure he was really there He could see him and smell him, but he wanted to squeeze him in his arms for just a second. He wasn't going to do that though because Alex seemed way too nervous and Michael might not want a hug just yet. His shirt was so fancy too and Jason didn't want to accidentally mess it up even though he was clean.
"This is really nice, thank you."
"You're welcome."
"Were they treating you good?"
"Mostly." Jason shrugged. "Three meals a day and I got a job inspecting clothes. Plenty of time to read books in the afternoon and we get movies twice a month on Sundays."
"Did anyone hurt you?"
"Oh…I guess I got in a few little fights, mostly people wanna feel big. No big deal though. I guess it's worse in bigger prisons. I was pretty okay in there, don't you worry about me."
"Okay." Michael smiled. "Listen, I'm going to take you home with me so we can spend some time together. I'm not sure if you can stay but if you can't we'll find you some place to live and we'll get you a job."
"Home? You got a home?"
"We have a house together." Michael said as he looked at Alex. "In Connecticut, but my dads aren't sure if it's a good idea for you to stay with me. I'm not sure either."
"Michael, why would you want me to come home with you?"
Maybe Jason wasn't smart enough to get into a fancy college in California or to even finish high school, but he did know the difference between right and wrong and he was a whole mess of wrong. He didn't deserve to even talk to Michael or be in the same room as him and his handsome boyfriend so he knew he most definitely didn't deserve to go home with them and live there. It was the God's honest truth that he'd go right back to prison after he got a chance to apologize because that was what he deserved. That was the best of what he deserved and he really wouldn't have been surprised if someone thought he deserved the worst.
"Alex, can you give us a minute?"
"No."
"Please, Alex." Michael whispered. "You can wait outside and leave the door cracked."
Jason had never seen two people more in love just based on the look in their eyes. Alex looked sad and full of shame and Michael was just pleading for what he wanted. It would have been nice to pretend he wasn't the reason for the strife but Jason knew better. He was the bad man and Alex loved Michael too much to leave him alone when he might get hurt. Hurting Michael was the last thing Jason was going to do because he had done that enough already and he didn't care what anyone thought, he really loved his baby brother more than anything and he always had.
Michael didn't have to ask again or maybe he did but it was just with his eyes. Alex planted one kiss on the top of his head and then gave Jason a look that made his very bones tremble. If he was planning on something bad he sure as heck wasn't anymore. Alex was just too scary and Jason decided to add cop to the list of possible professions though he was pretty sure he was most likely either a doctor or a movie star actor. He sort of had that look about him that he wanted to be both.
"He doesn't like me." Jason laughed. "That's okay."
"He doesn't know you yet. They'll like you, Jason. Don't worry about that, he doesn't think this is a good idea and we're in a weird place right now."
"Michael, I'm sorry. Before you say anything or be even nicer to me, I need you to know that."
"Sorry for what?"
"For not running away with you. For not taking you the first time Clay touched you and running as fast as I could. I wanted to so many times, but I kept feeling like whatever was out there was worse than what was in that house."
"How old was I, Jason?"
"I don't know, I can't remember…he was always mean all the time talking about what you ruined but one day he just…it got worse I think."
"I can't remember everything."
"Why not?"
"I don't know." Michael smiled. "Jeremy says people can only handle so much and then we block the rest out. I remember plenty enough but not all of it."
"I'd think that would be a good thing."
"Yeah, I guess it is. Anyway, um…I want you to come back with me because I know…I know in my heart you didn't mean to hurt me."
"But I did. I made you do things. I made you touch me, Michael, that's wrong."
"It wasn't you."
"That's what he said but I don't know. I think when I…when I touched you."
"You did it for me once, didn't you?" Michael asked. "Why?"
Jason shook his head and then shrugged because he honestly didn't know why. There wasn't much in his life that made any lick of sense and doing something for Michael was just something else on the list. He was probably fourteen at the time and Clay and Ty had gone hunting. They were gone for about a week and nothing really happened if Clay wasn't there to get everyone started and all bothered. Jason thought maybe daddy had made Michael do something but he wasn't sure.
One night Jason got out of his bed and crawled into Michael's just to hold him and as soon as he had his arms around him he started to cry. Michael thought something bad was about to happen and Jason wanted to do awful things to him but he kept praying for those thoughts to go away and eventually they did. He held Michael and kissed him and as the sun was rising after a sleepless night he went under the covers and tried to make it better.
He was so scarred but Jason still took him into his mouth and cradled him, caressed him with his tongue. It took the longest time but Jason didn't care because eventually Michael made one quiet gasp and then fell asleep and he slept soundly for hours and hours. He was a new man when he woke up and until Clay came back he seemed so happy. Jason wasn't sure how he felt about someone doing that in his mouth, but if it made Michael happy then it was worth it.
"What happened?"
"I kissed you, took you in my mouth."
"You gave me oral sex?"
"Yes, I did. I don't know why, but everyone was using you for their pleasure and you deserved your own." Jason said. "That don't make it right, but I did it."
"Did you ever fuck me?"
"Michael."
"I'm sorry, did you ever…have anal sex with me?"
"No. It was usually a couple of people and it's real easy to pretend you already done it. I told 'em…that I liked your mouth."
"I'm sorry you got lumped in with them." Michael said. "I couldn't see the difference between any of you."
"There is no difference."
"Don't say that. Do you want to do anything to me now?"
"I wanna hug you, Michael." Jason sighed. "I wanna make sure I ain't dreaming again."
"You dream about hugging me?"
"All the dang time."
After Michael laughed and stood up Jason finally got to hug him and he was as strong as he looked. He was solid and not some stick thin little boy anymore. His baby brother had grown up into a big full sized man, but one thing hadn't changed, he still had a heart of gold. God made lots of people everyday but he broke the mold after he made Michael. He was the very best person Jason had ever known and what he deserved didn't matter anymore because Michael wanted him to go home with him and that was going to happen.
"I got you some clothes. We need to get you out of those clothes, then we can go home."
"Michael, can we stop and get a snowball? Do you have a few dollars on you?"
"Yeah, I have a few dollars and we can. What kind you gonna get?"
"Spearmint. Rainbow for you?"
"Yeah." Michael laughed. "I ain't had a snowball in years."
"We'll get big ones, it must be a long drive back."
"We're flying."
"On an airplane?" Jason asked. "I can't do that, I ain't got a ID or nothin' and they're really unsafe."
"You don't worry about that, it's not a problem."
The strangest thing that ever happened to Jason Higgins was getting rescued by a devil and an angel who were for some reason brothers. The second strangest was going on his very first flight in a private jet. There wasn't anyone else on that plane just the five of them which was just the neatest thing in the world. Jason had seen other planes in movies and on television but those had lots of tiny little seats for tiny people, the private jet had big seats with sofas and tables. It was like a flying hotel room and just about the nicest thing he had ever seen. It looked nice, it smelled nice, and the two pilots treated Jason like he was a celebrity.
It wasn't all good news though because Jeremy looked awful. Jason heard a couple of whispers but he couldn't figure out what was going on and it wasn't his place to ask. His eyes weren't black anymore, but they weren't shimmering either. They just looked dull and almost lifeless. He was alive though because he was breathing shallow as it was and he was sweating up a storm.
Aaron was whispering to him and pushing back his hair when Jason spotted him leaning in to kiss him right on the lips. It was nice that they were so close, but then they got much closer and Jason realized it wasn't just brotherly affection. He immediately looked the other way because it was rude to spy on people kissing and even worse when those two people were brothers. That was something private and he knew he had no right to be apart of it so he kept his eyes forward.
Michael was sitting across from him next to Alex but he must have been very tired because once the plane leveled out he fell asleep. It wasn't long after that that Aaron and Jeremy were both sleeping in the back and Jason was the only one awake with Alex. They were just staring at each other and Alex was lovingly stroking Michael's hair which was very nice but he was making Jason awfully nervous.
"Before we get home I want to say something."
"Yes, sir, Mr. Watkins?"
"If you give me any reason to even suspect you mean Michael any harm, any reason at all, I will put you in the ground while you're still screaming for death to come."
"I never meant him any harm."
"Then let's keep it that way."
"You're scaring me."
"Good." Alex smiled. "And by the way, I'm the nice one."
"Who's the mean one?"
"Let's hope you never have to find out, huh?"
Jason nodded and spent the rest of the flight staring at his new shoes Michael bought for him. He hadn't done a thing to Alex and had been just as nice as a person could be. He didn't like being threatened because it scared him and he sure wasn't looking forward to find out who the mean one was. If Jason was going to be staying at Alex's house he wanted to make things okay between them, but his best hadn't done a lot of good. He didn't blame Alex for judging him at all because he deserved to be judged but it did make him worry about how the next few days or weeks were going to play out.
The plane ride was nice but Jason thought it seemed to take a lot longer than it really did. Everyone kept on sleeping except for Alex and he wasn't saying a word. It was better when they started to land because Michael woke up and he was so kind and courteous in asking about how Jason's first flight was. He said it was nice because it was but he didn't mention what Alex had said. That didn't seem like a good idea at all.
The airport they landed at was pretty small and before Jason knew it he was in the back of another fancy black truck. Jason was in the backseat with Alex next to him and Michael against the other door. It seemed like Alex had purposefully positioned himself in the middle of the backseat just so Jason wouldn't be next to his brother which was just unnecessary and maybe a little mean. Jason had no intention of doing anything to Michael and if he did it sure as heck wasn't going to happen with three scary guys there, even Aaron was a little scary.
Jason didn't know scary though, he didn't realize what scary really was until they had pulled up at a gigantic gray mansion that was bigger than anything he had ever seen except for the white house right next door. He thought for sure that Michael was just messing with him but the house was his and he even had a key to the front door. It was just a spectacular place that looked like it was right out of a magazine and it had the neatest little garden in the front. Jason spotted a couple of weeds so he knew what he was going to do in the morning.
The inside of the house, just what Jason could see from the entrance, was even better. Everything sparkled even the things that shouldn't have like the sofa in the living room or the books on the coffee table. That settled the question of what Alex did for a living because not even doctors could have houses that fancy. He must have been an actor and to get on his good side Jason made a plan to watch his DVDs and then they could discuss them and become friends.
There was so much to look at that Jason couldn't pick one single thing to compliment. He absolutely loved the dark shiny wood floors and the piano looked so classy, just like the long shimmering curtains against every window. That was just amazing to him because he couldn't imagine how much one set cost and he counted twelve just in the living room and entryway. When he decided on complementing the rug in the living room something else caught his attention and he found out that the mean ones came in pairs.
They weren't even in the house for a minute when the two men from court came into the entryway. They were both so intimidating but one of them had to be seven feet tall and he looked like he could kill a man with a flick of his wrist. The other one although shorter was an even bigger force to be reckoned with. He had cold eyes that tore right through Jason and as much as he hated himself for it, he stepped over behind Michael because he was so scared.
"I didn't think ya'll would be up." Michael said. "Jason, this is Sam and Dean, my dads."
"It's nice to meet you, Jason." Sam said as he stuck out his hand. "We've heard a lot about you."
"Thank you, sir."
"Can I speak with you in private?" Alex asked. "Please."
"Yeah." Dean nodded. "Nice to meet you."
"The pleasure is all mine, I…"
Jason stuck out his hand, but Dean took one look at it and then walked away with Alex. He was at least nicer than Alex had been but still Jason was getting pretty tired of people being mean to him for no reason. He wanted to say something but Dean was obviously not the person to say something to and Sam was pretty nice even if he was a little terrifying. Instead of saying anything Jason made a mental note to talk it over with Michael and he kept a big smile on his face.
Jason had something else to talk to Michael about too because if Sam and Dean were Jeremy and Aaron's brothers that meant they were maybe brothers or step-brothers at least. They didn't look a thing alike but in the few seconds Dean was there he had glanced over at Sam in a way that Jason noted. It was more than just a look of love in his eyes, it was something else that made him think there was no step about it. There were angels kissing on devils and two sets of kissing brothers, Jason didn't know what the heck was going on but Michael sure had interesting friends and family.
"You two must be hungry." Sam said. "I have some lasagna in the oven."
"You hungry?"
"Yeah, I am, we left before lunch."
"Thanks, dad."
"Come on." Sam smiled. "Jason, do you like lasagna?"
"Yes, sir. I like lasagna and hamburgers and noodles with butter." Jason said before he paused. "And ice cream. I like hot dogs too, and sometimes onion rings."
"You don't need to be nervous." Michael laughed. "You're okay."
"Also, I really like mustard."
"Well, the next time we have hot dogs or hamburgers we'll be sure to get extra mustard."
"That is very kind of you, Mr. Sam. I can't believe this…whoa."
"What?"
"This is a kitchen." Jason whispered. "Wow."
"You ain't see a kitchen yet." Michael said. "This is about a half a kitchen."
"Michael, why on Earth do you need a kitchen this big?"
Jason thought the kitchen was absolutely beautiful and it was as clean and neat as could be but it was just way too big. There was enough room for ten or fifteen adults in there and he had a long bar with lots of stools set up in addition to a kitchen table and they had passed a dining room. It was all so impressive but maybe too impressive because Jason felt like he was in a museum and someone was going to yell at him. To make things easier on himself he took off his new shoes which weren't dirty at all and then held them in his hands before Michael took them away.
"When the kids are over here we cook dinner together." Michael said. "And Alex and I want to have a few kids so I wanted the space."
"Oh, I see. It's beautiful. I really like these counters."
"Soapstone!" Michael beamed. "Alex said we should get granite. We talked him out of it."
"It's beautiful and he said it was too much work." Sam sighed. "Who cares how much work it is when something looks that good?"
"It's work?"
"Yeah, you have to condition it with oil." Michael shrugged. "It takes a half hour once a month."
"Well, it is nice."
"Thanks."
"How much do you normally eat?" Sam asked. "Big serving or a normal one?"
"Big if you got it it. It'll be so nice to eat something that's not on a tray."
"You'll have to tell me if I cook better than prison food." Sam laughed. "I think I might."
"I'll be sure to tell you, Mr. Sam."
The food was exquisite but Jason didn't have the heart to mention that it wasn't lasagna or anything like it. At best it was wide flat noodles with tomato sauce and cheese with some strange chewy meat in there that was white. Lasagna had brown hamburger meat in it, but there was a good chance that the Yankees did things differently. Jason thought it was just about the weirdest thing he had ever eaten but Michael seemed to enjoy it so he said he did as well and that was the truth. It was so good he asked very nicely for a second helping and he got it. It was bigger than his first and he made it about halfway through before Dean walked back into the kitchen.
He was very affectionate with Michael and gave him a kiss right on the cheek while he was eating before he joined Sam on the other side of the counter. Once they were next to each other and exchanging glances Jason decided they had to be real brothers because Sam looked so enamored and comfortable. He looked much more at ease when Dean was there and Jason didn't care how good of a man he was, that was something only a brother could do.
"Alex tells me you're very polite." Dean said. "Well mannered."
"Well, sir." Jason said after he swallowed. "I do try my best. I think if everyone tried to be polite the world would be a much better place. Mr. Sam this lasagna is just wonderful."
"It's turkey, I use turkey."
"Oh, I didn't know what that was but it sure is good!"
"Thanks. We have this sort of tradition where people get to pick their favorite food for dinner. Is there anything special you might want tomorrow?"
"Special?"
"Yeah." Sam nodded. "Anything you want. I can't imagine they had your favorite food…where you were."
"Grilled cheese?"
"Excuse me?"
"Grilled cheese." Jason said again. "If it's not too much trouble."
No one seemed to like that answer but it was the simplest and most special thing Jason could think of. He couldn't remember the last time he had a really hot and gooey grilled cheese sandwich. He was imagining one with a nice bowl of Campbell's chicken noodle soup so he could dip his crusts. Jason hated crusts on a sandwich but when they were golden brown and buttery they were perfect in warm salty soup.
"Anything else?"
"Chicken noodle soup, maybe?"
"I…uh…I can do that." Sam said. "We can do that for lunch."
"And you can meet my grandpa and…"
"And the kids." Dean said. "They're looking forward to meeting you."
"That sounds great."
"It does." Michael said. "It really does."
"May I speak frankly?"
"Please." Dean nodded. "Is there something you want to say?"
"If there's any jobs you need done I'd hope you'd consider me." Jason said. "I'm a hard worker and I'm real good at following orders."
"On Sunday you can go with Michael and Jeremy to set up for the auction." Sam said. "And we'll pay you, it's mostly just setting up tables, putting out chairs, and decorating."
"That sounds perfect, Mr. Sam."
Jason owed Jeremy ten dollars and he had to pay Michael back for the clothes he bought him. He couldn't stay at his house and not contribute and everyone in prison said that as soon as they got out they'd need a job and a place to stay. Jason had both and he thought that was pretty good for a day's work. He was really glad he got everything worked out too because he was exhausted. It wasn't much past ten but the day had been way too long and strange for him.
Sam and Dean both kissed Michael goodnight and then they shook Jason's hand. He was really glad Dean did it because it was pretty obvious he didn't like him. That was just fine though because they had just met and Jason was just going to have to work hard to win him over. He figured that if he stayed out of trouble, worked hard, and took care of Michael, Dean just might smile at him or hug him twice before he left for the night. It was wildly optimistic to think that was but Jason's glasses were always half full.
Alex was in the guest bedroom putting fresh sheets on the bed and like all the other rooms it was just spectacular. Something smelled like flowers in there and it really made Jason even sleepier and he still wanted to take a shower before bed since he had skipped his morning one. He had his own private bathroom, with a big sunken tub and an honest to God lock on the door. Jason locked it and unlocked it twice just to make sure he wasn't dreaming before he undressed and enjoyed the best shower of his life. The water was hot and it stayed hot and that soap Michael had in there smelled amazing. Even the shampoo was fancy and it was tingly on Jason's scalp so much so that he shivered and giggled.
He had new underwear, thick socks without a single hole in them, and a soft pair of gray pajama pants that fit perfectly. Jason got all dressed in the bathroom except for his t-shirt because it was just so hot after his shower and he wanted to cool off next to the open window for a minute before climbing into that big bed. It was all made back up when he walked out of the bathroom and Michael was hanging even more clothes in the closet.
"Good shower?" Michael asked before he turned around. "I love the…Jason."
"What?"
"You…you have bruises all over your chest, what happened?"
"Oh, I coughed in the lunch line last week." Jason said before he chuckled. "People don't like me."
"It'll be different here. Dad wants you to meet the kids and I didn't think he was ever going to let them meet you."
"Why'd they look at me so funny when I asked for grilled cheese?"
"They just…" Michael sighed. "I think they were expecting something else."
"You looked at me funny too."
"I was expecting something else too. Wait until you see the food dad fixes you, everything tastes like the best restaurant ever and you can eat until your stomach hurts."
"They love you so much, Mike…Michael. I can see it just lookin' at 'em."
"They've been really good to me, they're really good to everyone."
"Oh, I can tell."
"Okay, you get some sleep. If you get hungry take whatever you want out of the kitchen and we're right upstairs if you need anything, double doors at the end of the hall."
"I'm gonna sleep straight through until tomorrow."
"I'll let you sleep and then we can have a late breakfast."
"Okay, sounds good. Goodnight, baby brother."
"I can't believe you still call me that."
"You're the baby, ain't cha?"
Michael nodded and then hugged Jason again before he walked out of the door and shut it behind him. Standing at the window and catching some breeze had been looking pretty good, but Jason was already completely cooled off. That would have taken a good long half hour down South, but apparently everything was different up North. Everything was fancy, it was colder, and things were more alive. Jason felt more alive than he had in his entire life after just an hour in Connecticut, which was mostly because he was there with Michael.
After turning down the bed and clicking off the light Jason got comfortable on the soft slippery sheets and did something he hadn't done since he went to jail well over a year ago. He didn't masturbate because he was going to do that in the shower when the mood struck and he didn't do anything else he really needed privacy for. He just got comfortable and sang himself to sleep.
"Onward Christian soldiers marching as to war…" |
|
|
